HRT: "You look younger," "Did you lose weight?"

[lilywolfsolomon]

I've been taking estradiol alone for almost 6 months and I'm about to start adding spiro to that. At this point I'm frustrated with how often people will say, "Did you lose weight?" or "You look younger" but actually I'm both fatter and older than I was last time they saw me! I never hear, "You look more feminine," or anything like that, though when I look at myself I can see it... I start to doubt myself when no one else seems to notice what I *think* I'm seeing in the mirror. I mean, even people who know I'm on HRT don't say anything.

I am noticing (I hope) that it sometimes taking strangers a half a second longer to come to a conclusion about my gender, and I've even been properly gendered when they only have a moment to glance at me. But it's like people who know me don't see it.

Is it like, people don't notice that stuff until you actually cross some line somewhere where suddenly they see you as another gender?

[Sammy]

It would be the last thing ever for someone to guess that You might be on the HRT - all they see is smoother (younger-looking) skin, less facial hair etc etc etc. You might have shrunk as well because of muscle mass loss, which had decreased Your bulk (visually). You might still weight the same or more when stepping up on scales, but look smaller because of that. I was 72 kg when I started HRT, fit and a bit buffed up. Now, I am somewhere between 70-71 kg. Not much difference? Maybe, but I went from L size to S size clothes, and I look like scarecrow in my old L size stuff. So, for other people You do look smaller (lighter) and younger. And since they have known You as a guy, they would never suggest that You might be looking feminine - maybe for the fear of "insulting" Your masculinity .

[Hikari]

I have got a few comments, about looking more feminine (but, it is lots more than HRT, I pluck my brows, happily wear pink hair ties, etc), but those have been from people who were family, but didn't know me well at all, they only knew me from pictures of before. At work, the closest I come is that a few people have said I am looking "really gay" (which is silly, gay doesn't have a look and I like girls, so I am gay from my POV, but I am not from theirs). A few people have said I am looking much younger than I used to look as well.

I am not full time yet, and I am getting many more double takes from using the mens room than before, not to mention lots more long uncomfortable stares...So I have to think I am looking more feminine, but that just doesn't seem to be the place people go with it in their minds. Not one person who didn't know I was trans has asked me if I am on HRT. I am pretty sure it just isn't on their radar no matter what my appearance is. 

[Brenda E]

I agree.  Being trans is still really low on the list of reasons why someone might look slightly different, and until it's really rather obvious, people's brains will automatically - although reluctantly - stick you in the "male" category and just figure that you're a slightly odd looking guy.  I get the same thing; I notice a few strangers look at me and their gaze lingers a little longer than it should as they struggle to reconcile what they're actually seeing with what they think they should be seeing.

Adding spiro should help a lot.  I was on spiro for a while to begin with before adding estrogen, and the spiro, while not making me look more female, certainly stripped away some of the parts of my appearance that I would have considered male.  Using the two drugs in combination should get you to where you want to be.

[Eva Marie]

I have gotten lots of comments like that; I even got them from my mom before she knew I was trans ("You look like a little boy"). Others include stuff like "You look really good" meaning I seem to be healthy/thin even though my current weight is not exactly thin, or "You have a baby face".

Going with those comments are the occasional male fail and the incessant strange looks I get on the weekend when I'm in grubby boy mode and I throw on a baseball cap to run a quick errand somewhere - the cap apparently hides my hair and emphasizes my face shape. People then get a mixed gender signal from me and stare trying to figure it out.

The last time I got a short boy haircut I looked at myself in the mirror afterward and got a gay vibe from myself.

[Sammy]

You know what? Being seen "as younger" or "lighter" is way more fun than people suddently starting to think that there is some sort of terminal ill-ness involved and hence all that weight-loss and whatnot. My best friend actually got that sort of idea by himself, when once during a convo I mentioned being on a diet and having lost 15 kilos. When I mentioned that I also have some clothing which is too big and wont fit me in the future anyway, he ultimately decided that I have cancer. When I told him a month or smth later that I am transsexual, he was stunned but still kinda relieved .

[KayXo]

Just wait a little longer...things are already starting to move in the right direction, I would be psyched the way things are going already...looking younger, more doubts as to your gender in public...and remember, for people who've known you as a guy, they have a mental picture of you and it takes A LOT to change that, trust me! Give it more time with them ...I've been 10 yrs post-op and it took QUITE awhile for my parents to come around and get used to their "girl"