A little update on my Dad & my injurySo, the injury I'll have an MRI done within the next two weeks, unless something changes. Till then, not able to work and not sure what'll happen after MRI is done. As to my Dad, I got to thinking about how he reacted in the car and noticed this. While he was trying to put the blame on my past and how I haven't forgiven myself, he was also burying himself somewhat in his phone (We were stopped at the time because of red light) and he had a voice that indicated he was in shock and disbelief over what I was saying and doing and threatening to do too. I did tell him in the moment that, that attack was not caused by my past and has nothing to do with it but by him because of how he kept misgendering me, all he could say was how this is why you need to be in therapy and you know the rest. (Opening post) I have tried finding someone and, only have one option left, but, I don't want to talk about it and even then, it'd still be up to him to adjust and accept me as I am or the same thing would just happen again eventually. Now to the replies.
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on July 22, 2014, 07:37:05 PM
If it gets to be too much then perhaps plan the day when you can move out.
If people ask me about my hair I say I like long hair.
I've been moved out and living on my own for a few years now, I do worry the day may come when I may have to move back in with him and then my life really would be a living hell compared to how it is now.. and if not him then someone else and same result..
It's a shame in this world we have to rely on family/friends and can't make it by without their help. Some may, but only if they're rich.
Quote from: Eva Marie on July 22, 2014, 10:02:51 PM
It might be worthwhile to point out to your dad that he is putting you in danger by using the wrong pronouns & name. One use of the wrong pronoun/name with the wrong "bubba" around overhearing it and you could be attacked. It is a safety issue.
Thanks but, funny thing about people who've known you even for just a short time, they have trouble seeing you as the opposite gender, even if you do look and CAN PASS as said opposite gender. I've tried telling them that (Looks part) but they don't seem to get/believe it. Again thank you, I will try and mention it in the future if the time and such is right.
Quote from: Kade1985 on July 22, 2014, 08:09:47 PM
All I have to give is just grit your teeth and bare with it.
You gotta remember that those who do, and those that are at the very least respectful of it and try their very best to get the names and pronouns right are the ones that matter right now.
Yu-Gi-Oh thing is concerned.. , it's called Dueling Network. It's free, and goes by whatever current tourney rules are applicable and has the "traditional" option as well. Try that out if you can't get your hands on some decks/booster packs.
And that's what I've been doing but it still puts me in a bad/depressed mood. Now top that off with how many times it gets done and you get what happened in the car that day if it's bad enough. Luckily, that was the first time I'd become suicidal from how he was misgendering me but still..
And that's why it's hard to be happy and have a social life and such as, other than co-workers/business', I have none that do that and even then, those people/business' are only doing it because they were told to/don't want a law suit/trouble and such. Sure some may do it out of respect, but, I wouldn't know for sure. No the best I've got is some neighbors who have helped me out a little and while they won't call me by the right name/pronouns, they ARE trying to not call me by the old ones, that and so far, they haven't put limitations on what I can wear/say in front of them like my Dad has done. I do have a sister whose been a little supportive but not by much and we had a falling out a few months back, only heard from her via email and not a whole lot, it's looking better than it did before but, could go either way with her.
Thanks, I do still like to buy a few of the cards irl though.
Quote from: Jera on July 23, 2014, 03:22:49 AM
With my religious family, outright trying to convince them of something only makes them more rigid. Sometimes I have some measure of success in dealing with them by making compromises though. Like, asking for him to call you his daughter for a week, and in return you make a sacrifice for the week, too. The bigger your sacrifice is, the more it communicates to him just how important it is to you that he treats you properly, and sometimes it also paves the way for a more open dialogue.
That's a good one but, he won't do this, I'm not kidding when I say he's OVERLY religious.
Quote from: Sam314 on July 23, 2014, 01:15:04 AM
I really hope this doesn't continue for you much longer. All pain has to eventually come to an end, and you don't have to be the one to cause the end to it along with all other ends.
I know what you mean though. I got a religious family as well which is why I've never been able to transition, or grow out my hair (although I am now, because I have been fighting it so much, I refuse to get it cut)
There's even a proverb that says "Keep on asking, and it will be given." So as long as you continue to correct him every time, eventually he hopefully will finally say she.
I know that not getting support definitely leads to bad thoughts. They've even proved that scientifically. But what can help is just conversing with those who do support. Block out the bad, take in the good. And I'm always welcoming anyone to send me a message, so feel free to at any time if you want/need to talk about anything:) -hug-
Thanks, sadly I've already been through a war zone growing up, no child should have to go through that, sadly as a result I put my sis and Mom through bad times but, anyway, my point here is, I've had many peaceful moments but, it's like I get through one battle and have to go into the next over something sooner or later in my life. Why can't we all just have peace? Why can't we all get along as best as possible? Why can't people do their best to quit being bothered by certain topics such as LGBT? I may never know.
Hope that changes for you and don't give up your long hair if you don't want too. You will find it does come with it's own problems, safety is the biggest one if you aren't out yet. (Only because then people would notice who you are more easily when transitioning but, even then, that's bound to happen so, just be careful and don't worry/fear what I said here too much, unless you live in an area that's not accepting)
I don't want to get into religion too much as, I'm greatly hurt by it in various ways and so on but, basically just because you pray for something or are persistent with it, doesn't mean it'll happen, still nice to try and believe though I guess.
Thanks. And yeah, perhaps I will point that out to him in the future..perhaps..