I really need to go to therapy, there seems to be a blockage inside me. Perception of my body is not the same as feeling it. A good example would be when I feel my changed parts I'm fine with them, but when I look at them to observe say myself masturbating, I just can't shake the feelings of the change. I swear you not, I started playing with my clitoris, just rubbing it, and looking down at what I was doing, and decided to just do it for a while, even tho my perception was just like wtf is this girl body. And then as the feeling got good, I forgot for a moment that perception issue, and saw my belly, which I find too fat for my taste, and my mind instantly went thats the thing that doesn't work. I just don't get it.. Its like outer perception has a male identity and my feelings and my inner have a female one.