T* Friendly Cities

[Jera]

I need to move to a bigger city, to find therapy/group resources that just aren't available for me, here. I have more concerns than just those resources, though.

I'm currently closest to Las Vegas, but Vegas scares the crap out of me. It's friendly enough on the Strip, where the tourists are, but living there is another story altogether. There's a big ->-bleeped-<- scene, but I'm not a ->-bleeped-<-, and don't want to be one. I'm having a hard time finding a reliable therapist that actually deals with trans* issues, nor can I really tell how well trans* people are actually treated in their day-to-day life.

Los Angeles and San Diego seem like attractive choices, except that California has the highest cost of living in the country. That's a little prohibitive, unless there is plenty of work available there?

Seattle seems like something to consider, too, except I really don't know anything about it. That's starting to get to the kind of distance that is going to be difficult to move, just logistically.

Hopefully that gives you at least some sense about what I'm looking for. What are the advantages of your city? Is it hard to get around? If there's public transportation, is it reliable, and more importantly, safe? Therapists/groups readily available? What's the cost of living like? Is there work? And please feel free to share the pros and cons of things I haven't asked, if you feel like they're important.

I would prefer the West Coast of the US, just because it will be easier to get there. But I'm really open to anything. I'm even willing to consider overseas, if it sounds like it would be worth the effort required to get there.

What's your favorite city?

[Ms Grace]

Since you said you were willing to go overseas... Sydney, Melbourne and Adelaide in Australia are very trans friendly cities with great services and legal protections. Sydney is a bit pricey though.

[Brooke777]

Seattle is great! I love it here!

[Arch]

Sometimes I will see one of those "LGBT-friendly city" lists, and they always make me roll my eyes. Trans people are usually looking for specific types of trans-related services such as ample choice of therapists, endos, and possibly surgeons, as well as community and support groups. We look for what LGB look for, sure, but T is a lot more complicated. I have never seen a "top ten trans-friendly" list, but maybe I missed it.

I do remember cities such as Seattle, Denver, and Portland, OR, on those LGBT lists. I believe that these cities are pretty affordable and accepting, and they should have the services we usually want, but you would need to do more research. Most people will also mention SF, LA, and NY. I understand that all three of those cities are very expensive to live in, though. I should think that almost any city in the top ten or twenty in population would be large enough to have the infrastructure you need and would be worth at least some research.

One thing you ought to take into consideration is connections. In which cities, if any, do you have friends or supportive relatives or colleagues? If you work for a national company, where can you transfer to? If you have a particular profession and not just a job to pay the bills, which cities best support that profession? And for some folks, where do you want to go to school, or what if you decided to go back to school?

Another possibility is to live in an area very close to one of the hubs. For instance, some people don't mind living in less desirable areas (read: cheaper) in CA and driving a bit to get what they need (work, trans services, or both). But the areas they live in are often less accepting. I have the good fortune to be able to do the opposite--live in a progressive area but work in a progressive school in a less accepting area. So I pay more for living expenses, but I have decided that it's worth it. Doing what I do is a possibility for folks in some professions. But a truly reliable car, and the willingness to perform regular maintenance, is an absolute necessity for most people in either of these two scenarios because of the commute.

[Jera]

No friends or relatives in this part of the country. I actually just moved here about 6 months ago to get away from them, what I thought at the time was just going to be a "fresh start." When I do come out, I will have a support network of zero.

Work doesn't tie me down, either. Mainly, I write. A lot. It's kind of a like a hobby I get paid for, and I can do that anywhere. It pays better some months than others, though, so I supplement that with one or two random jobs at times.

So really, I'm free to go anywhere, once I build up enough savings for moving, some rent, and a buffer. I just don't know where yet, and I really don't want to play the blindfold and stick a pin in the map/see what happens kind of thing. All the info you guys feel like sharing is appreciated.

[Brooke777]

There is a rather large trans community here. Not to mention, we have an amazing support center dedicated to trans identified people. I had almost no issues while I was transitioning here. I strongly recommend this area.

[Emily1996]

I would say LA, NYC, Washington DC, San Francisco, and mostly bigger cities where the population is diverse... I know that it's expensive to live there but I want to move to NYC after high school for college and right now I'm in western new york

[Brooke777]

I would say LA, NYC, Washington DC, San Francisco, and mostly bigger cities where the population is diverse... I know that it's expensive to live there but I want to move to NYC after high school for college and right now I'm in western new york

I have a few good friends in DC, and they have informed me that it is not a very trans friendly place. I know it should be, and based on local laws it sounds like it is, but it really is not that great. Plus, crime there is horrible!

[helen2010]

I have spent time in Chicago and Seattle and would give both of them a tick.  San Fran is a little like Sydney, Vancouver and Melbourne and very liveable, trans* or not.

[Brenda E]

Thumbs up to Pacific Northwest.

Vegas = massive ->-bleeped-<-hole.  Excuse the language, but that's about as mild as I can express how nasty that place is.

[Kylie]

Seattle is just as expensive as most any city in California.  It will have the highest minimum wage in the country though, so maybe it would be more manageable.

[Madeline182]

San Antonio/Austin if you're into the weather down here.  A very large lgbT community <-- (yes a capital T)
Not many choices in doctors in San Antonio, but quite a few more in Austin.  With that said, I'm headed to Seattle ASAP!!! Lol

[GendrKweer]

I currently live in the EU, but having lived and traveled all over the world, I can confidently second Sydney AU is one of the queer-friendliest places around, and an overall great place to live. Staying in the US, there is only one city for me--New Orleans (although the crime there is out of this world, esp in the summer). But so is the queer community. Not to mention the food, music, people, architecture, culture, general permissiveness.... I could go on and on! Check out NOLA sometime (the Marigny in particular). You might never leave!

[Klaus]

In my opinion, Boston is one of the best cities to live for anyone LGBT, but especially trans folks. Most of New England is, really. There is a particularly great LGBT health center that has amazing transgender resources, from great doctors and therapists to support groups, housing and events. I really don't feel comfortable living anywhere out of New England, although legally and culturally Vermont, Massachusetts and Connecticut seem to be the best. Boston and Providence (some of the areas are not trans friendly, but most of the city is) are basically our only true cities, but even the more rural areas of the aforementioned states are nice, in my experience. Outside of particularly religious folks who are in the minority, even in Rhode Island (which is quite Catholic and, IMO, the least friendly NE state), I've yet to encounter anyone who wasn't friendly and reasonably well educated about transgender people. Coming from the South and Midwest, I've noticed that gender roles here are really blurred, so I think that may have something to do with why the area is so tolerant of us. It's also pretty secular, which helps, too.

Good luck with your search!

[Jera]

Vegas = massive ->-bleeped-<-hole.  Excuse the language, but that's about as mild as I can express how nasty that place is.

It really, really is.

Thanks for the info, everyone. Now I can at least focus my research! It sounds like I really might have to visit Australia someday, too.

EDIT: I am still very willing to hear more opinions and advice, if anyone stumbling across this thread cares to share.

[Asniceasme]

For Australia, I would definitely agree with Sydney, Melbourne, and Adelaide. I would also add The Gold Coast to the list too...never had any problems there. But I have been told by friends that while there are some services, try to steer clear of Brisbane.

[Rachel]

Philadelphia PA, USA has the largest Pride Parade and Largest Trans Health Conference in the world.

We have a 6 by 6 block area called the gayborhood. 36 square blocks is not that big.

There is the Mazzoni Center which is a LGBT primary care. Mazzoni has a trans manual with recommended Gender Therapists ( there are a lot of trans in Philly).

The city has anti-trans discrimination laws ( unfortunately only a few counties in PA have such laws). Large universities and university Hospitals and large employers have trans policies. Where I work I am covered for procedures (not FFS or stomach work), therapy and HRT. Where I work there are 20,000 employees and 14 out to HR transsexuals (as of 16 months ago).

There are areas I would not go in Philly for safety reasons. You could be walking to the subway or elevated and get crap. Walking in some areas will get you hurt. With that said, most of the city is civilized and are too caught up with their own lives to care.

Funny story, I walked into the William Way LGBT center (where my 1st therapist was located). I went to the receptionist and said I am Cynthia and I am here to see Allison. He looked at me with a puzzled look ( there was a trans portrait gallery hanging all around the large waiting /lobby area). Also, there were several trans in the waiting area.  I said it again, I am Cynthia and I am  here to see Allison. There was a pause and when the light went off in his head he said oh, I will call her. His face was priceless (he was new). Point being, even in the gayborhood in the LGBT center we can be invisible.

I thought that if things fell apart in my life and I wanted to start over I would move to LA or Seattle.

[Kylie]

Just out of curiosity, how hard is it for a US citizen to get a work visa and become established in Australia?

[Cindi Lane]

Portland, Oregon is good. I believe the cost of living is a little lower than Seattle but may depend on neighbor hoods. fairly large T community.
-Cindi

[AnneB]

It may just be Oregon, but I've been told Spokane is T friendly