Hesitate to come out

[sylvannus]

I am a Chinese girl now studying in Australia. I have been living as a girl for 1.5 years and I often go to play ping pong in a club. Of course, I did not tell anyone my past, and because I pass pretty well (as on my portrait), no one there knows that I am a transgender girl.
About a month ago, I was surprised when a game partner tells me he loves me. I have never expected to be loved my someone but anyway, we soon fell into love. As usual, I do not like people to know my past, and this is a Chinese guy from Shanghai where people are extremely conservative. Thus I only told him "I am not a perfect partner and I have a bad background; you will regret". But he did not really understand this and said how bad you could be? You have divorced? My friend (also a trans-girl) told me I should be more honest, but I hesitate to clarify everything to him.
My concerns are: 1. violence. I have heard about Chinese trans-girls coming out and being beaten or even threatened by knives etc. 2. If this news makes him angry, he might spread the words everywhere and I hate to be stared and treated as a monster.

[noah732]

I understand your dilemma. I would experience the same hesitance if I were in your position.

First of all, there's no way to eliminate the risks listed. But to me, (and this is just my personal opinion) I would value being honest with a partner more than anything. If he really loves you, he will be understanding and you too will work it out and live a good life together.

Anyway, good luck.

[warlockmaker]

I live in a China city and I am eurasian. My city is the most liberal in China and here I see TG everywhere and no one even notices. But I think if its a relationship and you have not had SRS then I think you need to tell him asap. It is dangeruos when a cis male falls for you and then finds out. Our chinese men are less macho that the west but they can get violent.

[Ms Grace]

Is there someone safe who can be with you when you tell him. Having someone there for support will lessen the likelihood of violence. PM me if you need to, I'm in Australia too (Sydney) so might have some ideas for you for support.

[solexander]

Ahh jeez.. that's a hard situation. Maybe find a place where you can be semi- in public if you do tell him? Maybe a quiet restaurant or a crowded park or something? I just really don't wanna see you get hurt.