Lurkin' and a creepin'.
I've been following this forum for a while now, looking up all sorts of Transgender resources and all that.
As for myself, I am Trini, I go by other names and I've been an internet lifer for years. I do a lot! But I'll open myself up more and more in due time. (Still working on opening up to my inner circle as of this post. That will change though.)
I started going through dysphoria and questioning my own gender roughly around the beginning of this month (July 2014) and it hit me like a sack of bricks. I could not stop thinking about it from then on out and I've been doing soul searching within myself and the more I thought about it, the more it made sense for me that something was off in my mind.
Relating past experiences and behaviors, relating more to women, apathy towards men, HATE the word "Sir", extreme disgust of my own body (even after working hard to lose a ton of weight), years and years of being bullied, and overall struggling to find my own inner happiness and failing.
I've more or less come to terms and accepted the fact that I am very likely transgender. And I'm totally OK with that.
I've personally never considered myself male at all and was living my life unhappy and struggling to feel 'whole'.
I've accepted myself on July 11th and have been working my butt off looking up resources on everything transgender. Stumbled upon your forums and have been reading up on things from behind the scenes.
As far as my own transition goes, I am very very early from actually doing anything right now, but I'm OK with that. I understand that this is a lengthy and very serious life altering experience and I'll take it one step at a time.
I live in LA and found the LA LGBT center and have been looking to that for eventual therapy and services. I still have some jitters with HRT, but I'll likely get that going in due time. I panic about my health all the time so it's understandable that I'm freaking out about the health risks like clotting.
I am more or less in good shape except for asthma. I dropped like 70 pounds from 220 about 5 or so years ago and have been steadily working out here and there.
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Let's see, uh other things.
I opened up to my family and they are OK with me and supportive. As of now I'm going to tell my close circle (small) of friends and very likely will have their support. The hard part was over with telling my family, so I can breathe a little easier.
After that, once I start getting in some therapy sessions and talk things out more, I'll fully open up to everyone else (social media, my networks, facebook, professional outlets). I am aware of people might hate the idea of me transitioning and I've grown a thick skin to that and am not going to be bothered if those people leave me behind at all. They were never supportive in the first place.
I need to live for ME, not them.
But yeah, I think I talked waaaaaay too much for an intro, so....
Hi!
- Trini
