When do you know it's time to start using the womens restroom?

[Juliett]

My first time in a group restroom was at Walmart with my mom. I had been on hrt for about 3 months. I didn't even think about, I simply followed her in. It was only afterwords that I realized it had been my first time.

My real defining moment came the next year. I was at the drive in movie with my mom and sister. At intermission, EVERYONE uses the restroom. I stood in line with them and literally 100 other women, did my business and walked out smiling.

I've sat down to pee all my life so it isn't really that different for me.

[Lyric]

I was at the drive in movie with my mom and sister.

Drive in movie? Was this in the 1960s?

[Hikari]

Drive in movie? Was this in the 1960s?

A bit off topic, but they do still exist to this day, not nearly as popular as it once was, and frightfully expensive (as going to the movies in any capacity is). If you have never been I recommend it, just for the experience. I went to this one some years back" http://www.thefamilydriveintheatre.com/id81.html

Back on Topic, I have to say, that sometimes the family restroom is better anyways, in some places due to the line at the womens restroom. Mainly this is at the mall were there are hundreds of teenage girls, but not all that many families shopping.

[Jess42]

I'm passing lately and it felt totally awkward at the urinal with men on either side. My hair is girlish long and I felt out of place. I'm presenting andro (well trying to).

When will I know?

... and what was your 1st time in a busy public women's restroom like for you?

I would say if you are passing and dressing as a woman, now would be the time. Definately when guys start kicking you oput of the men's room. Or start hitting on you like.... well I won't go into that.

[mac1]

I would like to be able to use the women's restroom now but that isn't possible.
If I would be able to get rid of those dangly things (no matter how else I looked - even without SRS)
I would try to use the women's. If questioned I could always say, "would you like to feel my crotch".

[Myarkstir]

My take on this is simple, once you start being a woman, this means everything that comes with it. Including the proper restroom. 


Here is an exert from the wpath

Rationale for a preoperative, 12-month experience of living in an identity-congruent gender role: The criterion noted above for some types of genital surgeries—i.e., that patients engage in 12 continuous months of living in a gender role that is congruent with their gender identity—is based on expert clinical consensus that this experience provides ample opportunity for patients to experience and socially adjust in their desired gender role, before undergoing irreversible surgery.

[Sabine]

I'm gathering that the shared experience here is that often we are afraid to just use it regardless of how we present as female, and that we sometimes underestimate how unnoticed we might be if we try.  I think when we look in the mirror as we transition, we do not see what others see. We're harder on ourselves, and it's hard to be coldly objective. We worry about fooling ourselves.  We also are understandably a little risk-averse given that we get so much grief as a group, and the publicity some get when they are confronted.

I'm not hearing that many here have had problems, which is encouraging.  Confidence and common sense seem to be the guide everyone is sharing.

What has been a little interesting for me is how the men's room now feels so off limits, as much so as women's was before I ever started.

The other interesting first for me was when I went in with my mother for the first time. I don't think she expected it, but she was very cool about it.

 

[Allyda]

I'm not hearing that many here have had problems, which is encouraging.  Confidence and common sense seem to be the guide everyone is sharing.

What has been a little interesting for me is how the men's room now feels so off limits, as much so as women's was before I ever started.

The other interesting first for me was when I went in with my mother for the first time. I don't think she expected it, but she was very cool about it.

The only time I've ever had a problem was when I wandered into the men's room by mistake, lol! The looks I got would slice right through you. The one comment I got when I realized my mistake and turned to leave I won't repeat for decency's sake.

Allie

[Rose City Rose]

Well, I got lucky.  I've spent most of my transition at home or on campus, and Portland State has restrooms for gender nonconforming people.  While I was slowly tweaking my look to be more andro, I used those.  I began using female restrooms on campus when I decided I had figured out the tipping point from andro to fem, and I made the commitment to go full-time.

My first time in a women's restroom was on campus, but it was still kind of scary.  I was afraid I'd get maced and read as a guy, but I've never had any kind of bad interaction.  I have also used women's rooms in other places.  Most recently I got brave enough to do it in a local dive and nobody batted an eye.

The bathroom thing is really high on the list of benchmarks in your transition.  If you're ready to do it, then you can be proud of yourself because it means you've come a long way.

[Juliett]

What has been a little interesting for me is how the men's room now feels so off limits, as much so as women's was before I ever started.

Yes, i personally found it very surreal and quite humorous when i was out with my boyfriend and he used a public restroom. I had to stop myself and remember that I'm not allowed and it would actually cause quite a scene.

[Asniceasme]

I am fortunate that my new workplace already has gender neutral toilets, so when I eventually get to the stage of being full time, and at work, I won't have problems with which toilet to use.

[Violet Bloom]

  I observed something at my workplace that might make everyone feel a little bit better about using their washroom of choice.  In addition to large gendered washrooms, the store where I work also has a single "Family Washroom".  A number of the staff use this separate room almost exclusively because they are too self-conscious about doing their 'business' around anyone else.  I know this for certain because a few of them have happened to clearly state that fact in conversations I've overheard.  Probably for similar reasons I also have frequently observed male customers skipping the available urinals in favour of standing to urinate in the privacy of the toilet stalls.  (This is the one thing I'll miss least about abandoning male washrooms for good - men insisting on splashing all over the seats.  It's so unnecessary and rude!)

  I used to be somewhat self-conscious about washroom use myself so I understand where they're coming from.  Keep in mind the next time nature calls that many cis people you're sharing the washroom with may be significantly more uncomfortable than you about being in there.  The last thing on their mind is who you are and what you look like.

Seriously, it's not that hard to imagine. It's a bathroom. It looks exactly like the men's room, just with more stalls and less urinals. Aside from that, and maybe a disposal container for feminine hygiene products next to the toilet, they're exactly the same.

It's not like... ...the women's room has frilly pink toilet seats and issues of Marie Claire in each stall or anything. It's just a bathroom. You go there, you pee, you wash your hands, you leave.

Again, don't make such a big deal out of it. Bathrooms are utilitarian places.

B-b-but, I was promised COUCHES!

[mac1]

Lol... sometimes I seriously wonder about you, Ev.

Seriously, it's not that hard to imagine. It's a bathroom. It looks exactly like the men's room, just with more stalls and less urinals. Aside from that, and maybe a disposal container for feminine hygiene products next to the toilet, they're exactly the same.

It's not like the men's room has a horse trough and pictures of strippers on the walls, and the women's room has frilly pink toilet seats and issues of Marie Claire in each stall or anything. It's just a bathroom. You go there, you pee, you wash your hands, you leave.

Again, don't make such a big deal out of it. Bathrooms are utilitarian places.

That is a valid arguement for eliminating gendered restrooms. Multi user unsex restrooms would also save space and be more cost efficient. They would provide more security for all vulnerable users as the existance of greater number of users would make it less likely that they would be alone with a pervert (either male of female). All that would be required would be the elimination of open urinals (or urinals in general) and adequate privacy for the stalls. There is absolutely no logical reason for separate facilities.