Designer Vaginas for the Deranged

[Donna Elvira]

Just doing a little check on how all you creative thinkers are coming along. Lot's of great ideas so far but, since Wormhole technology is still in its infancy (putting it mildly)  you might want to give some consideration to the amount of space that's available.  After all, we are talking about a vagina, not the Skocjan Caves!  The way things are going, on top of his typical surgical instruments, Dr Chettawut will also need an excavator to create a cavity big enough to house all the kit that's being suggested...

So, without wishing to put too much of damper on the thinking, since I would also like to come out of my GRS still able to walk and maybe even f_r_i_ate from time to time, let's keep focused on small stuff, ideally using proven technologies!

I'll try to do a first summary of promising ideas over the next couple of days. Juré, craché!
Hugs
Donna
.

[Monkeymel]

Well Donna E, I think Dr Chettawut already has some of these things covered. I thought I could hear a drill and chissel going this morning. Fortunately it wasn't in me (and likely to be in a building bext door).

If you are going for real designer then obviously some form of coloured tattoo cod be nice. Silver edged linings with an iridescent hint of dragonfly blue. Although for some men I suspect it wkd be necessary to have some led landing lights directing to the vagina and or clitoris. Ideally once the neuro bridge is enhanced we can choose to direct the poor guy by selectively switching the lights as necessary.

Adding these I during the GRS process shouldn't be too difficult but their long term maintainence would be harder. So better off doing so gene splicing with zebra fish and other types so that lighting works on temperature and arrousel.

[Danniella]

So better off doing so gene splicing with zebra fish and other types so that lighting works on temperature and arrousel.

Oh my god I have the best images in my head ever! NOW I WANT A NIGHT CLUB IN MY PANTS!

(for reference) xD

[Violet Bloom]

Oh my god I have the best images in my head ever! NOW I WANT A NIGHT CLUB IN MY PANTS!

That sounds like a really bad come-on line - "Girl, I got a whole NIGHTCLUB in my pants!"  (Not to be confused with nightstick, for the kinkier crowd.)

  Hmmm, if they could diamond-stud it enough you'd have your own rich-bitch designer disco ball up your skirt.

[Violet Bloom]

  I just had another major brainwave thanks to the biological glow-in-the-dark suggestion:



  Why not quite literally light your landing strip?  It could guide in your aircraft of choice much more easily when the lights go down.  Heck, it even kinda looks the same shape when viewed at the right angle.  Activate them to indicate your readiness so the pilot won't try to crash-in prematurely.  Once they're safely on the ground the display could respond directly to your nerves to indicate your level of excitement.

[Jill F]

Two words:

Disco ball.

There's a party in my pants...

[Wynternight]

Bluetooth 4.0 compatible.
Equipped with Wormhole technology, so as to improve the capacity for large objects (including one's wardrobe and/or closet).
GPS for enhancement of peeing accuracy.

Wombtooth? Imagine the possibilities when I interface with my phone...

[JordanBlue]

Based on your inputs, my objective when asked by Dr Chettawut what my expectations are regarding GRS, is to hand the doctor a detailed written specification for all key aspects of my ideal vagina.

'a detailed written specification for all key aspects of my ideal vagina'  ?
You're joking - Right?

[alabamagirl]

'a detailed written specification for all key aspects of my ideal vagina'  ?
You're joking - Right?

You're looking at a thread of people talking about requesting GPS, blutooth, lighting, disco balls, etc. in their vaginas, and you have to ask if it's meant to be serious?

You're joking, right?

[Wynternight]

'a detailed written specification for all key aspects of my ideal vagina'  ?
You're joking - Right?

**facepalmheaddesk**

[immortal gypsy]

Two foxtel decoders (pay tv company down here) with all channels, well maybe not all for me. Turn your glasses into screens and those long lines we are forced to wait in,  suddenly become not long enough.

[Donna Elvira]

'a detailed written specification for all key aspects of my ideal vagina'  ?
You're joking - Right?

The idea of presenting a detailed specificationt (including tolerances vs spec) is a joke but one I intend to follow through on. However, as it starts as an open, brainstorming session, I may not use all the ideas provided..   
Hugs
Donna

[Donna Elvira]

So, all packed up and ready to go and, since a promise is a promise, here is the final specification I will be presenting to my surgeon during the pre-op consultation on Saturday morning.

BASIC TECHNICAL SPECIFICATION

Depth: 7 inches +/- 1

Diameter: 1.6 inches +/- 0.2

Vaginal wall pressure: 1,5 – 2 kgs/cm2 (21 – 29psi)

Sensation:
•   Nerve fiber density: > 30f/mm in clitoral zone
•   Nerve Conduction Velocity:  80-120 m/s

Lubrication: 0.5 – 1 ml/min

MTBF/MTTR: 20 years/1 month

Color:
•   External: Matching with surrounding skin
•   Internal: Salmon pink

Pilosity: 30 - 35 follicles/cm2 on the outer edge of the labia majora thinning progressively towards 0/follicles/cm2 at the interface between the labia majora adn the labia minora

Urination:
•   Angle: 25 – 30° from vertical when seated upright
•   Pressure: 25 – 30 psi
•   Range: 0.5 – 1.0 m

Scent: Mild vanilla

Safety: Pressure sensors at the end of the vaginal cavity which, when activated,  automatically tightens the vaginal walls (up to 50 psi) in a manner which insured rapid explusion of the offending penis or other foreign object...

CIP: Integrated post intercourse flush system

Maintenance: Annual check-up, weekly cleaning and lubrication as required.

TCO: (Initial investment + Life Cycle Maintenance costs): ~ 15k€


OPTIONS FOR DISCUSSION (If we get this far...  )

Signage: Diode illuminated landing strip with light intensity directly correlated to level of excitement.
Public address system: Dolby Digital 3.0 Surround Sound

I am open to any final suggestions you may have and will of course let you all know how it goes!
Hugs
Donna

[alabamagirl]

lol! I so can't wait to hear the reaction. 

[Jenny07]

How about some timelord technology?

It's smaller on the outside. No wait
It's bigger on the inside.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Donna,

Your engineering team are working overtime by the looks of your final draft spec. I am shocked though at your MTTR of a month!!!!! Struth dear. This is mission critical equipment you're banging on about. I can't be "off line" for a bloody month waiting parts, thank you very much.  . I need 99.99% up time with level 3 maintenance on hot standby, if you don't mind.

If the call for RFI is still open, can you consider a retractable heating element, for those cold winter nights to pre heat the dilator for post Practical Completion, please.

Can you include Liquidated Damages into the contract and Force Majure is totally unacceptable.

Keep up the mighty engineering concept. After all we are in the designer age of things. I can't see why this important piece of equipment should be left out.

P.S. Can you also include a retro fit option in, please.  I'm somewhat impressed with the night vision ILS version. Looks pretty spunky, particularly if you use multi coloured LED's. then once you've landed and docked, you can switch to party colour mode and disco on. But I'll say no to the cable decoders. Simply not enough rack space for those, sorry.

Huggs
Catherine

[BlonT]

For me just one sweet little pussy that pursss   
Only weakness i would order would be red hair

[Donna Elvira]

So ladies, time to report back on our management review which took place on Saturday morning in Dr Chettawut's rather small office. After the required inspection of the existing equipment at the origin of the redesign project, we moved on to our expectations for the future model. Wishing to avoid innovation for the sake of innovation while at the same time demonstrating an ability to utilize the best technology available when justified, the parties present had a lively exchange... 

To be precise, Dr Chett liked some of the ideas, smiling as they were reviewed, occasionally nodding his head in approval with two items in particular catching his attention:

1. Vaginal wall pressure. He wondered how it might be measured with the answer being pretty simple as a pressure sensor should be able to do the trick even if the necessary shape might require a customized design.

2. Nerve fiber density. He explained how his technique insured maximum nerve fiber density in the clitoral zone thus guaranteeing a level of sensitivity in that area infinitely better than with the model that is about to be retired from service....

All told, an amusing moment and his attending nurse, who goes by the name of Rose, was impressed enough by the presentation to request a copy for further consultation...

Work on building the prototype will begin sometime around mid-day this Wednesday and field trials are expected to begin in the late Autumn.

Hugs from the marvellous city of Bangkok, more of which on my GRS with Chett thread!
Donna
   

[peky]

Ladies,

we are the edge of having 3-D printed in vitro engineered vaginal canals derived from the patient's own bucal or glans mucosa... this type of vaginal canal has already being produce and implanted in cis-females with vaginal agenesis....

So, I would suggest we add to the OP and the many iterated requirements specification provided above, and following sound systems engineering practices (good Grief!), that the systems be designed modular and with an open architecture...

my 2 cents

[peky]

Hi, Dona E.

Here is what I was able to find about the pressure exerted by the vaginal muscles

Knowing that the physiological cross-sectional area of the Region 2 muscles is approximately 2.8 cm2 (3) and that striated muscle can maximally develop 2.8 Newtons (N) cm−2 parallel with its fibers, we can predict that the right and the left sides of this muscle each develop approximately 5.6 N, or a total force acting to close the vagina of 11 N. This is consistent with the mean (± SD) maximum value of 10 (± 2) N of vaginal closure force we have measured in upright stance (4).

Ref. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2897058/


un manuscrit de la physiologie de la musculature affectant vagin ... soit échéant aburral à la ville ... en tout cas un prompt et complet rétablissement, mon cher ami

courage,

Peky

sorry for butchering your beautiful language