I'm finally getting to know my father after over 50years. All of a sudden we just click like in a true father/daughter relationship. Before I came out conversation was just awkward for both of us, we hardly spoke to each. I never expected that, I'm very lucky and have a new best friend.
I also became acutely aware of hidden dysphoria that had been humming away in the background noise of my life. That was a big jolt for me, as I already thought I was dealing with the worst of it.
And then there was the coming out panic the day after I told everyone I wanted to transition. I actually ended up on the phone to the Samaritans (suicide line) that night, but an emergency appointment to my Doc. the next day put me right. I owe my Doc. my life, a wonderful patient man.
That day I learned that coming out wasn't a binary process. I wasn't prepared for that.