Born right....

[Sushifruit]

I honestly don't know how to start or end this so I suppose I'll keep up a logically driven self banter until I get my point across.
All my life I've had terrible reproductive issues, it's actually quite normal in my family for GIRLS to have horrible pain and suffering during what is supposedly one of the best times in a WOMAN's Life.  I was always told it would be wonderful and make me feel like a real WOMAN....
Never did it do that. 
I always felt disgusting... 
I just don't know anymore....Everything they give me to fix the WOMAN problems just makes me feel worse.  I've been begging to have that malicious hammering pain-monster removed from me ever since I was about 16.  Everyone just tells me I'm stupid.  "Oh of course you'll want to have kids one day."  "You're too young to have that removed."  "Don't you know what that will do to your hormones?"
Yes.  I actually do.
I feel like if I had been "born right" I wouldn't be having this problem...I wouldn't feel sick most mornings....I wouldn't feel lost and depressed at night.  I can't attack the gods for giving me life though....It wouldn't be fair.  I just don't know what else to do.  I don't know how to move forward when I'm constantly feeling emasculated and forced right back into a role and body that causes me such pain.  How can one feel like a man when he is forced into skirts and "fancy" clothing almost every day....  When all his insides hurt...when he is forced onto hormones to fix his WOMAN problems....

I suppose that was a long ramble about me having what my boyfriend has deemed "boy sads."

I just want to be myself.
<3 Zack

[nayuki]

I know a lot of people in our lives can't understand the emotional side to what where feeling the deep deep feelings of disgust and the inability to cope with the way things our.  Its going to be one big uphill battle but if you stand firm in who you are your family will except the real you. 

You need to find a doctor who is going to listen to the problems your telling him and the doctors aren't the ones in charge of your body.  The sole owner is you.  You tell them what you want and make them understand why!  they are there to help but TG isn't common only recently have a lot of things come to light publicly.  I'd love to give you a big hug ^.^  I'm sure getting all that off your chest feels good as well just use it to collect your thoughts to better inform others !