♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ Secret love? ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

[JohannaJohn]

Grace, infatuation is a strange thing.  Thank you so much for opening up about yourself before your first attempt at transitioning.

I did that myself years ago when I was feeling sort of a "male-type-lust" sometimes, combined with a total admiration of their great breasts and bodies.  Girls who were hopelessly out of my league because they were so beautiful, they could get almost any guy they wanted.
So maybe call that "crushing" in a hopeless situation, because there was simply no way I was going to get the attention of such drop-dead gorgeous girls who had dozens of pursuers.

Now it is different.  I feel attracted to drop-dead gorgeous girls (and to hunky guys, too!), but I want to have their body and breasts so much more strongly.

This is even more intense for me now that I am 7 week into HRT.  But on these powerful female hormones, it is MUCH less sexual, and much more a total attraction and a desire to have breasts and hair like them.

I want to have breasts bigger than the size 32B of my beautiful cis g/f.

Johanna.

[Ms Grace]

I wonder how common it is for someone to have a crush on a person who has a crush right back at them... but neither of them know!

If anyone in my (non internet) life has ever had a crush on me I've never known...

[Jera]

I wonder how common it is for someone to have a crush on a person who has a crush right back at them... but neither of them know!

If anyone in my (non internet) life has ever had a crush on me I've never known...

If my friends are to be believed, this has happened to me no less than three times. I get ridiculously shy when around someone I've got a crush on. Not that I'm very outspoken to begin with. So I never really gave myself the chance to find out.

I kind of hope it's a common thing, so I can feel like it's not just me. 

[Jenny07]

I have had a few, One with a feisty girl at work. I was her boss, so wrong. She was very opinionated just like me.
We kept in touch for any years but she showed no interest. Would have been fun but I had so many issues after the accident.

I also have a crush on my GP. Very nice person and so helpful. If only...


Oh well.

[Shantel]

A big eye opener for me was about a girl in high school. She was beautiful and had a vivacious personality, all the boys drooled and fantasized over her. It seemed as if she was unapproachable and was always surrounded by a few big high school lettered jocks.

Years later I met her in a grocery store, we stopped and had coffee and talked about our children. I confessed about the crush I had on her back in those days and she said, "I wish you would have told me that back then because it seemed as if I was being dominated by just two big dummies and I would have loved to be close to you back then!" The whole encounter left me musing about how silly we human beings are being so timid at times when our time here is really so incredibly short.

[Charley Bea(EmeraldP)]

Well since I can't tell when I have crushes on anyone, it leads to my honestly believing I wouldn't know if someone had a crush on me or had feelings for me period......Well I doubt anyone ever would anyway.

[JohannaJohn]

A big eye opener for me was about a girl in high school. She was beautiful and had a vivacious personality, all the boys drooled and fantasized over her. It seemed as if she was unapproachable and was always surrounded by a few big high school lettered jocks.

Years later I met her in a grocery store, we stopped and had coffee and talked about our children. I confessed about the crush I had on her back in those days and she said, "I wish you would have told me that back then because it seemed as if I was being dominated by just two big dummies and I would have loved to be close to you back then!" The whole encounter left me musing about how silly we human beings are being so timid at times when our time here is really so incredibly short.

Shantel, honey, wow, great words of wisdom there.

Maybe I shouldn't have felt so intimidated around drop-dead gorgeous girls in high school.  I really didn't try, because I felt they were "out of my league."

But life is too short for this.

I am 56, I have discovered that I am female, with great results so far.

Love and crushes are so amazing, and come in so many different forms.

Hugs,
Johanna.

[Ms Grace]

I know a couple who were briefly at the same school together, who both (somewhat drunkenly) told the other some 25 years later they had had a crush on them. They're now married!

[JohannaJohn]

I know a couple who were briefly at the same school together, who both (somewhat drunkenly) told the other some 25 years later they had had a crush on them. They're now married!

Grace, what a heartwarming story!  I guess it is never necessarily "too late."  Never say never!

Grace, my dear, you are an inspiration to me, and I think to many others here.  Not only are you hot-looking, but your insights are so positive.

You have a certain "way" about you that always seems to look to the positive.

Big hugs,
Johanna.

[antonia]

First let me say that I'm in a happy relationship with the the most awesome girl in the world and I'd never do anything to hurt her or act on any of the following.

About a month ago I met this really great guy through a group of mutual friends, since then we've both attended several events and he's funny, handsome, polite, generous, well spoken and we like the same music, movies and have the same interests. My knees get a little weak and I get a knot in my stomach just writing this. I get the feeling he's interested although it's hard to tell for sure since he's mild mannered and knows that I'm in a long term relationship.

I've been with guys before I started my transition but never anything serious, now I'm wondering if the estrogen is a part of the equation or if it's just that I'm starting to feel like a girl or if it's just that he's such a great guy.

[JohannaJohn]

First let me say that I'm in a happy relationship with the the most awesome girl in the world and I'd never do anything to hurt her or act on any of the following.

About a month ago I met this really great guy through a group of mutual friends, since then we've both attended several events and he's funny, handsome, polite, generous, well spoken and we like the same music, movies and have the same interests. My knees get a little weak and I get a knot in my stomach just writing this. I get the feeling he's interested although it's hard to tell for sure since he's mild mannered and knows that I'm in a long term relationship.

I've been with guys before I started my transition but never anything serious, now I'm wondering if the estrogen is a part of the equation or if it's just that I'm starting to feel like a girl or if it's just that he's such a great guy.

Hi Antonia, Yes since I started HRT I have felt more attraction to hot guys.  But I have a beautiful cis girlfriend who says she wants to move in with me in 2 weeks so I will stay with this great great great relationship at this time and see where it takes me.

Estrogen CAN and does make for major mental change, Antonia, in me, and many others.

I think I am bisexual as a male, and bisexual as a female, too.  Yes, I had one guy in high school he was in love with me I think I wasn't in love with him but I wanted to please him physically down there (cannot say more since this is not the sexuality forum) so I let him have his way with me and I felt SO happy he felt happy!  This was about 5 occasions.

Well,  Antonia, you will have to see where your feelings and your heart takes you.  I am "crushing" right now on the hot boyfriend one of my important female clients -- sigh! -- he is hot -- and this thread is about SECRET LOVE -- so it is perfect to confess this to everyone here...because he unattainable for me, since he is in a great live-in relationship his hot girlfriend who has big breasts, but she is an important client of mine, I earn good money from her.




I am also "crushing" on my hot cis girlfriend...now SHE wants to move in with me...

Hugs,
Johanna.

[JohannaJohn]

My hot cis girlfriend also wants to help me with my makeup, polish my nails, help me with dresses, bras, and clothes, hair...whatever I need help on!

She is GREAT.

My life is amazing since I started HRT 7 weeks ago...what an awesome journey...all my work and personal relationships have turned better and better...I am closing more deals with clients, gotten more work at the University where I am a Professor...wow..

And yes, I am crushing on some hot unattainable guys...secret loves.

Life is amazing sometimes, isn't it?

Johanna.

[crystals]

someone i knew on another lgtb based forum is an ftm guy
a realy cool person and i though hes cool up untill i actualy got to meet him in real life and i realy started to like him[ he was very very nice cool and lovely]
i still like him but for some reason he had decided to ignore me for the last couple of weeks and i think it only derails from here

[antonia]

I guess they were not kidding when they said it's a second puberty, I was prepared for the physical aspect but the emotional part is a bit overwhelming at times.

Honestly I'm enjoying every minute of it, it feels ..... natural and wonderful to explore these emotions but I'll leave it at that.

Hi Antonia, Yes since I started HRT I have felt more attraction to hot guys.  But I have a beautiful cis girlfriend who says she wants to move in with me in 2 weeks so I will stay with this great great great relationship at this time and see where it takes me.

Estrogen CAN and does make for major mental change, Antonia, in me, and many others.

I think I am bisexual as a male, and bisexual as a female, too.  Yes, I had one guy in high school he was in love with me I think I wasn't in love with him but I wanted to please him physically down there (cannot say more since this is not the sexuality forum) so I let him have his way with me and I felt SO happy he felt happy!  This was about 5 occasions.

Well,  Antonia, you will have to see where your feelings and your heart takes you.  I am "crushing" right now on the hot boyfriend one of my important female clients -- sigh! -- he is hot -- and this thread is about SECRET LOVE -- so it is perfect to confess this to everyone here...because he unattainable for me, since he is in a great live-in relationship his hot girlfriend who has big breasts, but she is an important client of mine, I earn good money from her.




I am also "crushing" on my hot cis girlfriend...now SHE wants to move in with me...

Hugs,
Johanna.

[Lonicera]

The impact that transition often has on sexuality is deeply interesting to me since, as far as I know, statistics consistently show that trans people are far more likely to be sexually fluidic and belong to a Rainbow sexuality (some estimates I've seen suggest it's the majority of us). It's why I'm not entirely keen on claiming that gender identity and sexual identity are entirely separate things in all cases. I understand if that separation is personally experienced and the pragmatic need to ensure gender identity isn't dismissed as a mere subset of sexual identity by bigots, including a lot of supposed medical professionals, but a feedback cycle does seem to exist between the two of them for a lot of people. When many people alter their performance of gender, including the sexual aspects of gender's function, it would appear to greatly colour perspective and cause people to explore performance of sexuality until a new identity evolves in that area too.

I'm both fearful and quite looking forward to seeing how increasing physical and social transition will impact on my present sexual identity. Simply letting go of shame and self-hatred in relation to my gender has altered my experience of attraction to other people a great deal already so who knows where things will go? I just hope I don't become purely androphilic since that would spell the end of the cherished relationship I have now.

[Emily.T]

I have a couple of secret crushes it will never get past that but that's ok for me, I am yet to start hrt so I don't know about that second puberty thing but I have always crushed on ppl in an emotional sense, sex has never really been a big thing for me it's mostly about the emotional attachment that I have with someone.

[kariann330]

I do and it sucks. It's my best friend Megan but sadly she sees me as a sister so I highly doubt that anything can happen now.

[herekitten]

Oh my YES! My secret crush/love.  He is a salesman who calls on our company. He is drop dead gorgeous, with a beautiful face, perfect hands, a body that can't be denied by his clothes, he is tall - at least 6' 5", he speaks with the melt-me southern accent, he is blond, he is muscular, long legs and you can see hints of his muscular legs through his pants. He dresses so professionally perfect, he smells wonderful, and his blue pool for eyes --- oh how I could go for a dive in those and swim.  And the way his eyes look at you, so dreamy, so come hither and he does not even know it. I swear next time I am going to tell him that he needs to be in a magazine so he can be admired by many; you think he knows it? Oh he makes me want to bite my tongue! If I told you his name -- that too is perfect. Now I truly know what it means "he can stop a clock"...  I could stare at him for hours.

But I'm married and I can look and that's where it ends :-) A girl can dream, no?

[Athena]

There is this woman that I have contact from time to time through work who I think could possibly become my absolute best friend. Unfortunately I think that I would rapidly become romantically interested in her which would ruin the relationship so I have to settle for the occasional contact that I have.

[Jaz650]

Oh gosh yes! I get the most random crushes on guys, but lately some thing strange has been occurring. My whole life I have been into biological males, but now I would like to date a trans guy. Is this weird? They are very cute, and you would not have to live with the fear that the guy will find out. When I was younger this occurred to me, and it can very ugly. It's a miracle I am still alive. Being in a relationship before SRS is dangerous, but now they will always know before it gets serious. I'm undergoing SRS in February.