Should I be more risk-taking?

[Auroramarianna]

SO.

Hi girls again.

I feel like this may seem a bit immature post, but I was wondering. Since my three only friends are going on with their own lives and I basically have no social life, which saddens me to no end, I should be more risk-taking? Like going out at night alone, joining reading clubs or something. I really need to establish more social contact, especially cuz I feel like I have been holding myself back for so long It didn't help that I was bullied in my school, and now I will have to stay there one more year to finish one subject. One. Subject. Because I failed, and it was Math, which I may replace with History to make things easier for me.

Maybe I should switch schools? IDK, maybe this will be kinda reckless living, but I really don't care anymore, what's point of leaving a lonely, uneventful life.

Thank you for reading,
xxx

[Valleyrie]

I think it's great that you want to get out and do things. I mean, what's life without the risks? I think you should definitely try out some social clubs/groups, they can be really great especially if it's to do with something that you're able to relate to. I personally wouldn't go out at night alone, I'd find it too scary only because I never have. Just stay safe. I was bullied throughout school too and dropped out with only a year 10 education and all I really do at the moment is stay in my room playing guitar and doing group programs. The only subject I ever failed was advanced math during year 10 but that wasn't because of my intelligence. Good luck with school and all I'm sure you'll do great. Switching schools could be a nice change of pace if that's what you're looking for and plus you'll be surrounded a whole bunch of new people in a new environment.

[Ms Grace]

Rather than taking risks, just be brave. You need to know when a situation is safe or not. Even when it is safe it can be scary to pluck up the courage and go in, but that is being brave and can be very rewarding and helps grow your confidence. If it is not safe don't take the risk. I know you say your friends are all drifting away but it can really help if you can have a supportive person with you.

Back at the start of my transition, my second time out as Grace I was going to the art show of a friend's partner. It was a safe environment but when I got there and saw all the people inside I was scared $#*&less. I was so prepared to just turn around and go home I was that scared. But I knew I would feel like a failure if I did that, I would feel miserable and beat myself up. So I took a deep breath, went in and quickly found my friend. She was great, got me off to the side and gave me a chance to feel comfortable in the space and then everything went well and I had an awesome night.

[Auroramarianna]

Thanks girls

I don't even know if it's worth caring that much about safety... 'Cause I may as well be dead then with emotionless life I carry now. And Grace, I have gone alone to a social event! I was so scared too but I found people who I knew and talked and mingled with many others, so it was awesome Probably one of my bravest moments.

Thanks Valleyrie, I am looking forward to a new environment so switching schools definitely wanders in my mind. I am also the romantic type and hoped to meet someone special soon, it's about time, I am nearly 18 

It's just that switching schools is also the riskiest option, 'cause I could get more bullying. But at the same time, it's also a fresh start. In my catholic school I already have a reputation, which is hard to break...

xxx

[Valleyrie]

Any time!

It's really up to you but I wouldn't want anything bad happening to you. I also long for a relationship and I'm almost 18 too but at the moment feel hopeless about it. Bullying is horrible, it really destroyed me as a person. I used to be teased a lot, slapped over the head everyday sometimes more than once and have had rocks thrown at me multiple times. I remember during a phys ed class, one of the guys who would bully me tossed a pretty large rock over in my direction and I threw it right back. He never really bothered me afterwards.

There is always the option of home schooling if the bullying is too much. Good luck anyway!

[Auroramarianna]

Awwww, I'm really sorry for what those nasty kids did to you! For me it was more like social exclusion and talking behind my back, but there was one guy who thought I was really weak so he started calling me names and stuff. One day he tried to attack me on the hall. Nobody did anything, but to his surprise I defended myself God knows how. He was furious. So he carefully planned the next attack. I was at the train station, alone, sitting and just felt someone grabbing my head and beating me. It was him obviously. I then reported the incident to coordinator and he never dared to touch me again, but the social exclusion carried on, on and on. They constantly left me out of projects and groups, and the teachers had to point out my existence sometimes and they would reply I was the one who had to choose. Since no group ever volunteered to choose me, I had to choose the group myself many times. And I never did oral presentations with another student like it was supposed to, I just did them alone.

Yes, I guess switching schools could give me a fresh start. And since it's only one or two subjects, I wouldn't be there the whole time and it'd be more difficult to bully me

[Valleyrie]

Ah I see. I can relate really well with that too. I was always the awkward one out and was never chosen for anything. Even the people I thought were my friends never chose me. This was especially apparent in P.E, I was literally the last person - always. It made me feel so bad about myself and it just continued to happen throughout my whole school life. What makes it worse is having to have the teacher point out that you don't have a group and feeling and knowing that no one really wants you so you just end up getting put somewhere. Then once you're in a group, no one talks to you and you just feel even more excluded and left out. I used to just fake being sick for presentations or just not do them.

Bullying and social exclusion are horrible things and it sucks that it happens, it really does. Sorry that happened to you, and good on you for reporting it. I thought you were going to have to do all subjects but that's actually not too bad!

[Auroramarianna]

Ah I see. I can relate really well with that too. I was always the awkward one out and was never chosen for anything. Even the people I thought were my friends never chose me. This was especially apparent in P.E, I was literally the last person - always. It made me feel so bad about myself and it just continued to happen throughout my whole school life. What makes it worse is having to have the teacher point out that you don't have a group and feeling and knowing that no one really wants you so you just end up getting put somewhere. Then once you're in a group, no one talks to you and you just feel even more excluded and left out. I used to just fake being sick for presentations or just not do them.

Bullying and social exclusion are horrible things and it sucks that it happens, it really does. Sorry that happened to you, and good on you for reporting it. I thought you were going to have to do all subjects but that's actually not too bad!

Lol, omg twins! That was exactly, exactly what happened to me. And yes, teachers had to point out I had no group lots of times. I pretended being sick two times, but then got more confident and just stopped bothering. Actually it's good now because I'm more capable of presenting things alone. Bullying makes us stronger. I obviously wouldn't go through it again, but now that's buried in the past, we may as well learn with it I'm much more empathetic to certain things that I wouldn't be if I hadn't gone through what I did.

Oh, and lol, I was always the last to be chosen on PE classes as well. But I really sucked at PE, so righteously so, lol. Actuallty not rightleously so, but I lost count to how many times I was last. I think there was one where I wasn't, and I dunno why, I guess it may be because my clumsiness actually harmed the opponent team.

[Valleyrie]

Haha.

I agree, bullying has really changed my outlook on life and has made me much more empathetic and sympathetic. The best you can do is learn from it and become a better person. I'm also more capable in presenting but I still get a heck of a lot nervous and haven't had do so in a while (yay). Let's not get started about clumsiness here. xD

[crowcrow223]

Sorry to read about your negative experiences Take care girls

On topic though< TAKE risks, BE brave, BE outgoing.

DO NOT be yourself. Be your BEST self. Don't be afraid of rejection, it's part of EVERYONE'S life.

In 20-30 years time, we won't say, OMG, thank God I didn't try this or that, Thank God I withheld, no. You gonna recall all the good, fun and sometimes crazy memories. Make yourself proud. Set goals, achieve them, and good luck!

[GendrKweer]

The old Mark Twain chestnut is always good to remember: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did." When added to the Chinese proverb "It is always later than you think" the answer is YES!! Put down the computer and go take a few risks.

[Brenda E]

Like going out at night alone . . .

No to this - sounds dangerous.

. . . joining reading clubs or something.

That's more like it.

As others have said, you can get outside your comfort zone and do things differently without taking risks.  Scary-uncomfortable is good, scary-dangerous is bad.  Stay safe. 

[Auroramarianna]

Thanks girls for the encouragement

I can be soooo cowardly, but it's also because I have zero support network. I'll need to venture myself out there more.