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Telling mom tonight: Nervous!

Started by WhiteFyre, August 04, 2014, 09:24:35 PM

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WhiteFyre

I just don't know what to say! But im mostly just scared of her reaction, i wanted to tell her in person when she was here a couple nights ago, but she had car trouble and could not come in. But i did tell her i had something important to tell her, and now she's freaking out thinking im sick and wanting to know. But im so scared. My gf also talked to her about what she would think if one of her kids were trans, she said she would still love them but be disappointed. She told me whatever it is she will do anything in her power to help, but im just so nervous. But now she knows something is wrong but i can't bring up the courage to call her!!
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Valleyrie

Hey WhiteFyre, you're taking a very big step here and are very brave for doing so. It is very scary and I know this feeling all too well but how will you ever know what she thinks if you don't tell her? You'll thank yourself in the future for doing it now and the relief will be huge. I see no reason why someone would be disappointed in their child for being trans or anything else for that matter. No one chooses this and there's absolutely nothing wrong with being trans at all. You have the support of your girlfriend it seems which is really great (and you have us, of course). Don't go into this expecting anything or you'll set yourself up for disappointment. Take things as they are and let it be. Even if she doesn't accept it now there's always a chance she'll come around so try not to worry too much. I know you can do this, good luck! Don't let those nerves get the best of you! :)
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mrs izzy

Wish you the best. Sometimes reality are not what we feared.

Hugs
Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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WhiteFyre

Thanks for the replys, its encouraging me alot. I just tryed calling her, but she did not answer, so il try again or just do it tomorrow. Im still really nervous, but thanks.
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Valleyrie

Happy to help! I hope it goes well, what you're feeling is completely normal. :)

I came out to someone who I thought would not accept it at all and had no hope towards but it turned out okay. This person still isn't that supportive or anything but it's still loads better than what I had in mind.
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WhiteFyre

Just told her, and it went very very well, she accepts it, and is going to start helping me get a therapist tomorrow!  :D she did start crying, but it wasn't because she was upset at me, she was crying because iv had to deal with this so long without help. But i feel so much better" thanks for the help again  :)
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Jessica Merriman

I am so glad it went well for you!  :)
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WhiteFyre

Thank you! Shes being very understanding, has been looking into it on the net, and wants to help me.
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Emjay

Quote from: WhiteFyre on August 05, 2014, 01:11:56 AM
Just told her, and it went very very well, she accepts it, and is going to start helping me get a therapist tomorrow!  :D she did start crying, but it wasn't because she was upset at me, she was crying because iv had to deal with this so long without help. But i feel so much better" thanks for the help again  :)

:D I'm so happy for you!  Moms are pretty awesome like that aren't they? 

I was so nervous about telling mine too, and I did about the same thing you did:  told her beforehand that there was something I needed to tell her.  It was a way of stopping myself from putting it off any longer.  It worked!

I'm so glad things went well for you.




Start therapy:                            Late 2013
Start HRT:                                 April, 2014
Out everywhere and full time:      November 19, 2015
Name change (official):                            February 1, 2016
I'm a Mommy! (Again) :                             January 31, 2017
GCS consultation:                        February 17, 2017
GCS, Dr. Gallagher (Indianapolis, IN)  February 13, 2018
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Rachel

That is fantastic! Sounds like you have a wonderful support base.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
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mrs izzy

Glad your fears where un warranted.

Hugs
Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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WhiteFyre

Thanks again everyone, i feel so much better. And everyone i want to know now knows. Shes already looking for a therapist!
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MelanieH74

WONDERFUL!!!
You are lucky to have family that is supportive. Makes everything much better! Keep us posted and good luck with the therapist
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Ltl89

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Juliett

Mine wasn't scary, I knew all along that I would be rejected by "family"
correlation /= causation
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stephaniec

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Valleyrie

I'm so happy for you WhiteFyre! I'm glad everything went well, that's really great! She seems very supportive and taking her own initiative to understand it more. Good on you for beating those nerves and I hope therapy goes well. :)
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WhiteFyre

Thank you Vallerie and everyone else  :) your words gave me so much couragement!
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katiej

Quote from: WhiteFyre on August 05, 2014, 01:11:56 AM
Just told her, and it went very very well, she accepts it, and is going to start helping me get a therapist tomorrow!  :D she did start crying, but it wasn't because she was upset at me, she was crying because iv had to deal with this so long without help. But i feel so much better" thanks for the help again  :)

Well that's just about as good a coming out as you could hope for.

I wish my mom was still around to talk to about this.  I think her reaction would have been similar.  She always did want a daughter...she just didn't know she had one.  ;)

"Before I do anything I ask myself would an idiot do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing." --Dwight Schrute
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