A summery for those who don't know as well as advice for those who have someone in their family who has stopped talking to you and an update regarding my sis and me.
My sis & me had a spat on the phone back in the middle of March and up until about 2 weeks ago, we haven't spoken since. I basically gave her an ultimatum to either call me by my preferred name or our relationship was over (big mistake, I was mad at the time over what she'd said to me) a week later I apologized via email but left the deadline, hoping she would see how wrong she was. Well, needless to say, deadline came & went, nothing, so I of course went on with life hoping, HOPING that the advice I was given on here would make a difference. The advice? Don't call her, email, talk or anything to her except on holidays send her a card that's short and to the point while wishing her a happy holiday and saying something like thinking of you still. So that's what I did for about 2 months, made no difference to the point that I was having my molars out and was supposed to be put to sleep and though unlikely, there was still a chance I could have died and I didn't want to take the chance and leaves things like that so I emailed her and said things to try and smooth it over with her and told her of the upcoming procedure and gave her my schedule (As I was working at the time) for the whole week and was hoping to hear from her. I never did. Angered and hurt I went as far as to for a whole 1-3 days, told my Dad & family they aren't to share anything regarding me with her anymore. Later I calmed down after my dad had a talk with me and while still very hurt with her (I could have died after all and fyi, while I haven't yet told her this, my body DID have a bad reaction to the gas they were using and it was reacting to it as if I was going into cardiac arrest, thankfully they got me back to normal and it all worked out in the end but I was crying and upset, even though they told me my signs and all were fine, I believe they only saying that to keep me calm) I decided to send her a few emails here and there with stuff I'd normally share with her. (Like Sailor Moon news, songs I thought she'd like and so on) After about another month and a half of rarely doing that, she finally replied to a few of them, keeping it to the contents of what was sent of course. After another month or half month (I forget) we finally started talking to each other by email and then eventually even on the phone. Heck we even watched a movie last week. (Online, not in person or over something like Skype) I don't know how things will go from here but, after all I tried to tell her in how I feel, she's more understanding now and is calling me by the 1st letter of my preferred name. (Which I dislike tbh but it's better than nothing and having her not call me anything might be harder for her and push her away..) I was also told by her that she IS getting married this Sep. Sadly due to whose paying for the wedding, I can't come as my true self, so I won't be going and have told her this. It adds insult to injury when there's a shower for the two that I was invited and I doubt I can go to that one too, plus it'd be awkward..
So yeah, for anyone who needs advice on what to do, here is what I recommend you try.
1. If you decided to give them space then that's fine but after a while you need to enforce you're still you, you still care about the person whose stopped taking to you and every now and again drop them a line. Don't argue, let them know how you feel, why you feel this way and how it affects YOU when they do something that well, hurts you. Keep it as brief and short as possible but try to patch the relationship up some before attempting to do this. Also don't ask questions like WHY'D YOU SAY/DO THIS OR DIDN'T DO THIS!? Odds are if they're like my sis, you AREN'T going to get a reply/answer and instead will be ignored more..
2. Don't forget to send them holiday greetings on holidays, keep it simple and to the point (it's a holiday after all) like was mentioned above however, DON'T just do this, do #1 as well, besides, holidays are few and far in between, this was another problem I faced during those months so it's not going to help you by doing only the cards on holidays but instead hurt you.
3. If they've asked you for space, give it to them, don't harass them, give them space. If they told you to leave them along for good. Well, I recommend you leave them alone for a week, then with as clear a mind as you can send them a heart felt email that's as short and to the point as possible with how much you care about them, why you're the way you are and how it hurts you and so on.
4. Get advice from others too.
Well, hope this helps. While I am thankful for the advice that was given to me, it only made things worse imo as it took longer for the relationship to come back from nothing to something. I don't hold it against anyone though, after all, I acted on the advice, and advice given doesn't mean I or you have to act on it.
Lastly, I also found out the REAL reason why my sis stopped talking to me. She said it was because I'm always grumpy and negative and that gets to her after a while. When she told me that (through email) I replied and told her the reason is, I'm just not happy. 1. being I have no life besides work, come home, get ready for the next day, hang out online, watch anime and play games occasionally and do everyday life chores like eat, clean etc. and then go to sleep and wake up and do the same thing all over again. (I have no one to hang out with irl, this is partially my own fault though) 2. Is because I'm not on blockers and hormones (E) and am not making enough to transition and this is also furthered thanks to how bad the economy is, how underpaid I am being paid and so on. So she asked if I'd be happy if I was on E and I told her I believe so, as Id feel ore happy and like myself is what I believe. (Because of what I've read here) But I'd also have to get a social life too and get money for transitioning and such is what I told her.
