Thank you for all the replies, everybody. I really appreciate it and I'm sorry for making anyone cry.
It helps me a lot to know that there's people who either sympathise or support me in what I'm going through. I just finished taking my third testosterone shot and I couldn't help but feel a little guilty and scared that by doing this, I'm detaching myself from the people who raised me and love me. I have hope in my parents that regardless of my transition that they'll come around someday.
Yesterday was terrifying, because my dad starting chatting with me unexpectedly on FB and started saying that he felt helpless. He was saying how he would miss my "natural" voice and how he was crying. He said that if he lived near me, he would grab me and strap me to a chair and scream at me that he loves me even though I don't love myself. I understand how he feels. It breaks my heart, but he just doesn't get it.
Then today, my dad called me for an hour and talked about everything OTHER than the transition. I would say that was good, but now I think they are in denial. He passed the phone to my mother, who was irritated and quick to get off, so she's firm in wanting to lose touch with me. My dad, on the other hand, is trying hard to stay close to me... but he's also in denial about the whole situation.
Quote from: JamesG on April 25, 2014, 04:32:16 PM
Wow, that sucks. Yeah I hope that they will mellow out and that this is just hard-ball guilt trip tactics.
What is odd to me is that they apparently accepted (I am assuming) that you were "homosexual" (from their perspective) but are going koo-koo over you transitioning?
They weren't accepting. My girlfriend and I were in a long distance relationship for three years before finally moving in together last August. We kept our relationship a secret for one year, but they found our personal blogs on Tumblr and immediately caused hell about the whole situation. For half a year, they did everything in their power to keep me away from her and verbally abused me (without knowing that it).
All my life, I was open with my gender dysphoria and told them that I wanted to transition, but they never took it seriously until now- since I actually have the hormones. I didn't ever identify or came out as "homosexual" and told them upfront that I was heterosexual, but they said that I was a lesbian who was being tricked by the Devil and I would waste my life away. I became depressed, was forcefully dropped out of school on my last year, and was sent to live with my grandmother for a year who was even more strict and abusive than my parents.
Eventually, she kicked me out of her house as well and I lived with my very supportive step-grandmother and grandfather for two months until getting the balls to fly out to my girlfriend and live with her. Her parents hated our relationship and tried to keep us apart too. They were very manipulative and abusive to the both of us, but they ended up becoming better and helping us move into our own apartment. They don't know about my transition yet and probably won't know until it becomes apparent. The reason for that being is that they're financially supporting us and they have the power to drop us like flies if they know that I'm on testosterone.
My parents did get better during that time. They ended up coming down to see our apartment and to meet my girlfriend for the first time. They really loved her and were friendly with her. My parents even admitted that she was perfect for me, but now all of that is going down the drain again with the transition, because it's a permanent change. They still had hope that I'd be a woman, who would marry a man, become pregnant, and give them grandchildren in the next few years. Not this lifestyle. It's because I'm their only child...
Knowing that they've come around once though... they might come around again. I'm hoping so.
