Decision to go full-time

[rosinstraya]

I had my appointment with the psychologist this afternoon and basically explained that I was frustrated at not presenting as female at work and that I was wanting to move towards going full time. I also said that this was a process developing out of my conversations with people, and also how I was viewing myself and my future.

The intention was to speak to my partner about it at the weekend, but she got onto it pretty much as soon as she got home - how was the psychologist, what did you talk about and is there anything I need to be worried about? My face obviously said something that suggested "no". So we went into it a bit- it's not a shock to her, but she's not exactly over the moon.

It's a further step, and we just have to see how it all pans out. I'm excited, but apprehensive. I feel no particular "concern" about very much of what may come (yet!)...except for our relationship.

We'll see, I guess.

[Jessica Merriman]

That is a big step so congrats!! I would however suggest, only suggest, that you alert your HR department or higher up and let them know before you show up full time. It may help ease the transition and show respect to them by giving them a heads up first. It could ward off any very uncomfortable situation. Other than that, GO GIRL!!!

[Hikari]

Why is your partner unhappy with your choice to go full time, what repercussions is she worried about?

Also congrats, being full time is a huge step!

[stephaniec]

congrats

[rosinstraya]

That is a big step so congrats!! I would however suggest, only suggest, that you alert your HR department or higher up and let them know before you show up full time. It may help ease the transition and show respect to them by giving them a heads up first. It could ward off any very uncomfortable situation. Other than that, GO GIRL!!!

Thanks for the love and support, Jessica.   

I have told a few people, including supervisors, at work more broadly of my situation. Without particularly intending to, I think I will have informed a fair number of people before that date. OK, maybe it has been a bit intentional!?

My workplace prides itself on its equality and diversity policies (it tells other public authorities when they've fallen short on their policies), so I should receive strong support.

Thanks again and hugs!

[rosinstraya]

Why is your partner unhappy with your choice to go full time, what repercussions is she worried about?

Also congrats, being full time is a huge step!

Thanks Hikari!

It's a good question. I guess it's fair to say she has a number of her own issues that she's dealing with and this is perhaps the (very large) "straw that broke the camel's back". We've been together for nearly 20 years, so it's also a point of "she's not the man I formed a relationship with..." And that shock to the system. She is supportive of me, but finds it hard.

As for repercussions, I think it's a challenge for her to consider the changed dynamics of the relationship and what it may demand from her, as she sees it - "when I was at uni people assumed I was a lesbian, and now..."

It's a bit stressed right now, but we have got through to this point. I don't dare presume to know how it will develop from here, but I will do my best to make it work. In the end we both have to live our lives to their best and fullest potential.

Hugs...

[jennifer356]

Being an oversight authority is far different than having to deal with the issue in-house - As Jessica said
give HR and management the courtesy of  1 to 2 months advance notice so that they can make whatever
plans they need to for a smooth accommodation of your situation - It will affect everyone working there
to some degree so it is only fair to give them time to prepare

congrats on the decision

be well
jennifer

[rosinstraya]

congrats

Thanks Stephanie! 

[rosinstraya]

Being an oversight authority is far different than having to deal with the issue in-house - As Jessica said
give HR and management the courtesy of  1 to 2 months advance notice so that they can make whatever
plans they need to for a smooth accommodation of your situation - It will affect everyone working there
to some degree so it is only fair to give them time to prepare

congrats on the decision

be well
jennifer

True, and I will work with the local support centre to prepare the workplace in advance - I certainly won't be popping in one Monday and going "Ta-dah!" No matter how many people know already!

Although I expect support from the "organisation",I know that it would be unwise to assume this decision will be met with uncritical love and admiration (!) by everybody, which is where preparation is important - there would be training in working with trans* colleagues before I start full time in the office. As far as I know - I will check and confirm in advance, so, pretty soon.

Thank you, Jennifer!

Hugs...

[immortal gypsy]

Congratulations and good luck with what the future holds

[rosinstraya]

Thanks, Ms Gypsy! And I hope it continues to go well for you in PunterLand!!