I'm out at work now reality sets in

[immortal gypsy]

Okay yesterday I told my boss at one of my sites I'm trans and taking hormones, conversation.
Me: Hey um I'm trans and now taking hormones
Boss: okay do you need time of
Me: no, just wanted to let you know consider I'm going to be working for you all the time now
Boss: fine. If you ever need more hours <new conversation>

So yay the second most important part of work knows.  (The most important part being the hand that signs the pay slip ), now for reality.

The good.
When I faced mumagedden all those weeks ago when I first came out, she freaked and asked how will work handle it.  Well I'm still employed.
The venue is closer to home so I get the benefits of sleeping in something my body and health will thank me for.
I already wear the ladies top there and most of the time am gendered female
My boss there is always more then willing to throw extra work my way
I no longer have to live off red bull due to working more than sleeping. (Don't sell your shares just yet I have a girlfriend who still has more of that stuff then blood in her body, so your investment is still good)

The bad
I'm not completely sure he understands what is going on (my boss is sweet but sometimes a little clueless)
Now I want to ramp up my transition time line.  The original date had special meaning to me but right now oh I just want to go as fast as possible
I will probably be transitioning in Western Sydney as apposed to the city itself, right now I'm thinking what are you doing girl, if you wanted to play it safe the city would of been the wiser option

The ugly
Before I technically worked two jobs, this involved two pay slips. I've worked out I will now loose around 30k pa, (note this is not because I've come out but because I've given up one job a major difference). On the plus side yesterday I had a few people contact me asking when I'm available and am I interested in working for them so I will make some of that up.
Work was easy the unrepresentative swill that makes up my family is still out there in the dark.

Yes this is only the beginning I still have a long way to go till I reach the finish line, more so since I've reduced my income but for today I'm still bouncing of the walls.  Joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy

[Ms Grace]

Living in Western Sydney I would say folk are probably more clueless as to whether someone is trans than they are in the inner city area. Congrats on telling your boss - glad for you that he was good about it. I told work before I told my folks, that way I could head off the "you'll be fired" panic attack.

[ClaudiaLove]

  Congratulations , and I must say I really admire your courage  .  I quit my last job to focus on transition , it wasn't really appropriate for me , I wouldn't like to do it , even as a ' guy ' , but anyway , if it was the situation to come out , I guess I would have been so scared and delayed it for ages  .
  I wish you good luck in the future , it is great when people show support and accept us .

[Ltl89]

It sounds like things are moving in the right direction for you.  I'm still uncertain how to handle the coming out at work thing.  My boss knows as she was told by one of my best friends and she is okay with it (at least with whatever extent she knows), so it's not all that shocking.  I'm just not ready to announce it to everyone as I'm not near to fultime yet and scared.  It's hard though trying to hide something so huge.  It's like you can't be yourself around other people in fear that they will discover you and have to wear a mask at all times.  Having that weight off your shoulders must feel really good.  Congrats!

[immortal gypsy]

Thanks Grace, living in the western suburbs also I don't want to throw stones but my boss is an old Penrith boy and he can be clueless. While I'm not working that far out, some of my punters describe themselves as "real workers" not "those ones in suits". Add to the fact that we're connected to a pub there, and I've just had a oh what are you doing moment.

There where times when I was thinking I would have to change location and start again, or that it might just be easier for me so it is a relief that I can stay at don't have to worry about moving for now.

One totally random off topic thing. Even if I only come back to the city one day a week it will be different I just realized today. The city has more pro and college football fans sports that interest me, while the other location is more racing based makes conversations different

[immortal gypsy]

Tonight I just finished my final shift in the city from now on I'm only working out west with my boss who knows I'm trans. After spending most of the shift saying my goodbyes and talking to my favorite punters and talking sports a close that takes me 40 min ended up taking me 2hrs.  (Most of this was spent me crying and just either standing behind the counter or walking around in the dark. So glad I was the only one who could operate the cameras there)

Okay enough of sad Gypsy time for the happy one to come back and hit myself with some reality. While I will miss the city one of the advantages of working at only one venue now is more time on my hand to actually concentrate on transition, and one thing I've come to realize is I do have to pull the finger out if I ever want to go full time, here is what I have and what I believe I need to cover for in no particular order;

Wardrobe: Work I'm covered as I wear a uniform I just need more black jeans. Casual everyday clothing not so much, formal or going out clothing forget it I have none at all. (Can one ever have enough clothes)
Voice: While my pitch is naturally high and I've been told by a therapist and friends I still have doubts sometimes
Hair: While it is long and layered that is about it. I am planning on getting a fringe (bangs) but due to that are being blonde right now it is extremely dry and brittle. So work in progress
Makeup: It is one thing learning to put it on, for myself I need to know how to make it last for a 10-12hr period straight without having to touch it up.  (OH&S would have a field day in my profession no lunch break most of the time your always on your feet and back of house you can be climbing over stock)
General paperwork: This is semi easier now I have time off during the week to spend with the bureaucracy getting everything done.
Family: Only told one member of my family yet and the way mine works I will end up playing realpolitik with the unrepresentative swill that makes up the ones I call mine.

The one good thing I can see is that while my face is not completely cleared a little makeup goes a long way on removing any trace of my shadow, so yay. Still a long way to go and a bit to do.  Some times I want to play smart and just let the pills work there magic. While I'm saying doh the torpedoes and doh the expense. Let's go full throttle now

[Cindy]

Time to flourish and grow.

Hugs

[JulieBlair]

It is good to be real! It took me a long time to go full time, but I don't think I could have done it much more quickly.  Still I am happier and more comfortable than I can ever remember being.  LIfe is good - and I just love reading your posts.  Does everyone in Sidney write and talk with such a lilt?

Fair Winds and Calm Seas,

Julie