Quote from: Rawb on August 03, 2014, 10:47:27 AM
With my bf, I made friends with him first, and I really liked him, and I thought, I WOULD LIKE TO DATE THIS MAN, so I told him I was trans and he was cool with it. Then a few weeks later, I asked him out. I thought it was best to be upfront about it, and he was already my friend so I doubt he would be telling everyone I was trans or something.
And yeh.
It's worked out really, really well so far <3
That's how I'd have to do it. Any other means would be deceiving and could be potentially dangerous and I'm that not much of a risk taker. Whatever works for everyone else is fine, but I'd rather be up front about it, which is how I'd like the other person to be as well. Starting out with lies or partial truths is not a good start, even if later everything works out okay. Many times I've been told that I am too honest, that always telling the truth won't get me anywhere. My reply to that, sure it will, might just take a little longer that all, but at least once I get there, or in the case of being with someone, I'll have done it the way I felt was the right way. I might be 80 when I get there but I'll find that right person for me and it'll be worth it. That person will love me for who I am and respect me for being up front, that I didn't make a fool of him (if its a man I end up with) or play with his emotions in him thinking he were going out with a complete woman. Things like that could turn out ugly, could be beaten to a bloody pulp, left laying dead somewhere all because some guy went berserk because somehow he found out that he was going out with a trans-woman, not a real woman (as in whole, born of the right body). As much as anyone would like to think the same of them (trans and being born whole), there is a huge difference for many that you may be dating.
There was a guy that came to my work a couple times and asked me out some time ago, he seemed to really like me, and I so would have went out with him, but I told him I was trans (I had to), he respected me for telling him the truth, and said he still would like to take me out (actually gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek), but he never did come back, I didn't think he would, as ultimately as much as he probably wanted to, mentally he wasn't up for it, and the scenario if he found out later could have been a disaster for both of us, not the kind of situation I want to put myself nor anyone else in. If you refuse to disclose this info at the start and it works out after/if they find out, consider yourself very fortunate that they got to know you enough and still loved you enough to stay, that your past, what you were or still are made no difference.
But then what about me, I flirt, I get guys looking at me all the time, well, there are some things unavoidable, I am living as a woman, I am considered pretty, so this is going to happen even if I didn't smile at them or pick outfits that I knew would get their eyeball popping out of their heads, just comes with being a woman. But I'm not going out with them, huge difference. Its not on a personal level, just another pretty sight to see among many, that's all.
Don't consider this a personal attack on anyone here, afterall we each have our own ways of doing things, whatever works, go with it (just take care). Just sharing my views, that's all. I don't think any less of anyone else just because they aren't like me. At least you all are going on dates. Miss Priss here (me) will be waiting until the cows come home (I don't have any cows, that's going to be a long wait).
