The fairy faced the mirror of h'er truth, and watched.
She saw the darkness part, and behold, h'er past unfolded, her childhood years, the formation of her soul in the womb predestined to be trans, the hard years, the pain and suffering, the victories, the purges, it was all there before h'er, unreeling itself in fast forward time.
It paused, it had found the time just before sh'e had hit the wall of late transition. An older man, face lined with exhaustion, male in appearance but haunted by something he could not control, a father, a husband, a son, a warrior in the cis world against addictions and death. But oh so haunted, oh so gaunt, so lined with stress and fighting both inside and out, and the fear in his eyes was terrible to see.
The mirror clouded, became fog. The old man faded into the mists of the mirror.
Time passed. Help was found. At the outer edges of the mirror key figures began to appear, the guides, the friends, all talking at once, all saying "this it your truth, this is what you must be". Some were dark, others light, most were misinformed as they told the fairy of who their truth was supposed to be, but the mirror of truth still showed mist, shot through now with many colors, reds and blacks and fire and light were coming through the mist.
The fairly looked and spoke into the mirror at the many voiced. "SILENCE", sh'e said. Some kept on yacking on, some respected the wish, but the static of untruth and truth mixed into unintelligible words kept on at the edges of the mirror. So it must be, it is the reality of trans.
The mist began to part, and there sh'e was. The old man was gone, a memory of the past, but still deep within, if you looked long enough at the reflection, he remains, under the skin, in deep places of the mind, and in presentations of convenience that are partial revelations of the truth, to meet the needs of others that do not understand, and can hurt the fairy in h'er core. He protects that core.
In the mirror sh'e saw more, sh'e saw h'er body as sh'e physically needed to see it now, mid transition on the nectars of hormones, half female, but more so than ever before, change is so gradual. Sh'e sees the diamond light of the core, deep within the soul, genderless and pure, and outside, sh'e sees the fluidity of social gender, each one of the pieces of h'er truth turning to face the chattering spirits on the edge of the mirror, saying to them "Is this what you need to see, can you handle this part I reveal, does it threaten, does it offend, how much can you see of me....". Defending the truth of the fairy.
The time became the now, and there was a new change in the mirror. It became blazing with light and clarity, the truth in this moment of time. The physical began to blend with the core, the presentations with their components of genderfluid truth also began to merge, the core drew them in. Sh'e was finally ready, was the fairy, sh'e was ready to be h'er truth, to be authentic to her own self, and then secondly to others and their needs.
And so, the components folded into the firey diamond heart that is the core of Satinjoy the Fairy, and sh'e felt as never before, sh'e rejoiced in h'er transwoman body, sh'e celebrated h'er fluid feelings being free, whatever wanting to express to be there, uncensored and true, sh'e celbrated h'er sensuality and h'er freedom, and h'er understanding of h'er truth.
And armed with a new appreciation of the awesome power of truthful transition, sh'e looked in the mirror, and saw beauty, and the old man was dancing with the beautiful girl before him, a sweet waltz, an invitation to the core, filled with candles and silk and the incense of the scent of our lives, for some it is threatening, for others the smell of victory, others freedom, others terror of the unknown and relentlessness of truth revealed.
The music plays on, the authentic components dance, in a place of total victory and healing, the authenticity of the non binary mtf that found a home in this very special place, the forest of freedom, the joy of the real.
Sh'e would cherish this moment, for in h'er gentle genderqueer presentation to the world, h'er core is always there, free to feel, free to be h'er, regardless of what sh'e allows them to see.
And the dance goes on, forever trans to the core.
Do you dare the Mirror of Truth? What do you see my dears, what is your reflection telling you?
Tell us what you see in the great mirror of your truth.....
Love to all here, this one is for you my dear Ativan, you led me to this place, and your friendship means so very much to me.
