Hey girls... Like the title suggests I haven't posted for a very very long time, but Ive been dealing with this a while and its bothering me. I've been on estrogen and spiro for over a month, almost two. The only changes I've noticed are sex drive dropping and breast buds. While having breast buds are great, it bothers me they aren't already here. I cant get over the whole "it's not fair!" stage, and it makes me feel like a stubborn toddler. My dysphoria is so awful lately, I can't help but see cis-girls of any age and start bawling... I drink myself to sleep every night, and the one night a week or so i can't get alcohol my dysphoria hurts so bad I cry myself to sleep instead...I don't want to be a downer but everyone says its gonna be better... In two years when i'll be able to get my surgery technically, i'll have to wait two more just to have the money for it... I can't help but feel like it's all just a joke, my hormones feel like theyre creeping along, technically im low dose and my dumb*ss endo won't raise it yet. One of the things that bothers me most is sex. My (female) fiance and I are having the worst time. She is okay without intimacy. I'm not. I'm not currently old enough to buy any erm.... items to help, and i don't know what the hell to do. everything seems so bleak, I had to fight tooth and nail for a year to get my hormones, now i cant see the point since i cant have a romantic life, or even a normal one for that matter. Anyways.... Help is really appreciated, thanks for reading <3
