Tomorrow a near by city is having their pride festival and I am going out for the first time as a woman. I'm scared but excited too. I still have a long road ahead but as I look back I see how far I've already come. The years of wrestling with who I am, the family talk I wish I never had, the times I bought female items only to purge them. If I had all the money I spent on even female smelling soaps I would be rich. If I get rid of the soaps, nick nacks etc. the feelings will go away, yeah right.
So now here I sit and in about twenty-four hours I will leave this apartment as a woman. Just to vent a little I would like to ask why women's sizes have to be in different categories? Petite, misses, women... and why do they have to cost so much more than men's clothing?
To be serious for a moment though I am a little scared. By the end of the day tomorrow the people around me will view me very differently than they do today. It's very unlikely I won't be seen leaving or entering my apartment. Seeing that I live in the south I estimate that the news will travel faster than a jet plane. I do have some fear of possible physical harm, though I carry pepper spray and I have fears of someone taking their bigotry out on my car though hopefully none of this will come to pass.
One year ago I made the decision to start transitioning a little at a time and not stop this time around. Now here we are. Wish me luck.
