For you, when does or would the need for transitioning support end?

[Evelyn K]

I've been thinking about this lately. Do you find that many successful transitioners eventually lose interest in the community? That life for them has moved on?

I've notice something in common with those who have undoubtedly been successful at transitioning. You never really hear much from them afterwards. Oh it's not a knock, it's just a feeling that I myself have been sensing within. That eventually even Evelyn might just fade into the woodwork.

If I had all my major tick boxes checked, would I really need support when I'm busy just living? And as you know, 'normal' life is quite busy in of itself.

Thoughts?

[katiej]

Isn't this the goal?  I know it is for me.

[Evelyn K]

I do to. I also have contrasting thoughts.

For one I think the community that helped nurture your transition would welcome a hello every once in awhile.

But then on the other hand, if you're successful in transition, I also feel as if maybe it's better to get out of the way, to start living. After you succeed or are approaching, people will just know. I'd rather exit graciously. I guess what I'm trying to say is "why rub it in?" Perhaps keep tabs from afar and let others who are beginning rise and share in the reigns of the forums own special and successful occasions. And rise they will. The graduating class moves on for a reason and doesn't linger.

Then there's the rock and a hard place, our community needs successful transitioners to be out in the open and active supporting our cause...

[stephaniec]

it could be the case, very few of the people around 9 months ago when I started are still around 

[Evelyn K]

Yeah steph. Just browsing prev years "fabulous" threads and anyone can see a lot of fab gals have obviously moved on.

Maybe it's best this way?

[stephaniec]

I don't know I always like to hear the stories from the grown ups

[Beverly]

I am not post-op yet but I should be getting my initial surgical assessment shortly so I am well along in the process. I already feel the need for less community support because almost all of my questions have been answered.  My hormone regime is stable, I am fully transitioned and I live my life. What do I need from the community? Very little.

So I am spending sone time helping out those following me, those who do have questions and who need help an guidance but it is a very frustrating process and there are a few idiots the make me go "WTF?". There are also extremely negative people who seem to be able to suck the joy out life and make me wonder why I bother.

So I will move on. Transition is a process with an endpoint. For me that will be in the New Year

[Evelyn K]

It's kind of sad and liberating in a way. Thanks aagat for chiming in and much success to you.

[kelly_aus]

My transition is done.. I've not seen my gender therapist in a year or so - just nothing that I've needed to talk to him about. The odd bits of support I need, I'm able to get from friends. I lurk here and a chat room I help Mod in order to pay a little back for the help and support I got when I first started and if I didn't feel that need, I'd have wandered off in to the life I have.

[justpat]

   As we face the reality of our true selves ,summon the courage to come out and face the world and start growing and maturing as our chosen or preferred gender with our hormones in synch, life evolves into a much different experience.Every day normalcy replaces every day exploration and 1st time adventure (remember the ladies room? ) the been there done that is now the new normal, and everything is now --- well normal !
  You can spend less time here searching for answers and more time with the friends and people you have grown close to while here and hopefully offer some sage advice to a newbie who is in the searching phase. Everyone grows at a different pace ,we are after all --- different.  Pat 

[Jennygirl]

Yes it seems to happen all the time!

I like to think that instead of losing interest, they are just more interested elsewhere and leveraging their new superpowers in life.

[Ms Grace]

Like Stephanie said, it's good to hear from the ones who have gone on to live their lives the way they had wanted. Presumably many of them struggled before and during the transition process and it would be helpful for those doing it tough to hear those stories and how they managed to do it. A support site certainly benefits from those old hands onboard and the insight, inspiration, encouragement and guidance they can provide.

[Missy~rmdlm]

It's pretty standard, I don't know how many post-transition people stay around. The fact is for me the "community" politics don't necessarily align with my interests, that can annoy me. I can try to help when I can, but many peoples issues aren't something I can connect with...and I have my own history of serious problems.

I think a key term in your thread is "need." I'm not sure I ever "needed" help, I put off transition for over a decade, during that time I could have used help. In a way I found some of it right here on Susan's. I was a lurker including for many years.

[Jess42]

For me, I don't think it ever will. I feel like I owe it to other's that may need support, encouragement and advice. Maybe owe is not exactly the word I was looking for but all I want to do is help others that are going through the same thing I have been through and still going through. It's a never ending process for me. Others here have helped me and I owe them my eternal gratitude for sure. So paying it forward is sort of the attitude I take.

[alabamagirl]

My transition isn't anywhere close to being complete, but it's really been ages since I came to this site for support. Now I hang around to chat with friends, make new ones and try to help others. I'll probably never leave.

[Jess42]

My transition isn't anywhere close to being complete, but it's really been ages since I came to this site for support. Now I hang around to chat with friends, make new ones and try to help others. I'll probably never leave.

Me either. I hate when people that were here and then disappear and leaves me wondering if they are OK. It would be nice if they would just to say, "Hey, I'm where I need to be so don't worry." And then just a little follow up every now and then. They should know women worry way more about their friends and if they are OK. God, I'm such a girl and way too emotional sometimes. I find myself actually worrying about people I don't even see face to face but just type to. Ok time for a micro meltdown.

[Jenna Marie]

Honestly, for me I think *needing* support ended years ago. I hang out here as a way of "paying it forward" after all the support post-transition women gave me when I was just starting out (and because post-op women willing to answer questions are rare for some reason), but I expect that at some point I'll drift away as well. As you say, it's about living your life afterward, eventually.

I try to stay out of the newbie emotional threads, because to be honest what early transition *felt* like has mostly faded into vagueness for me. But a lot of the "does it get better/can I have a happy life/is this physical stuff normal" questions seem like they'd also benefit from hearing from people who've been at it a while.

[Zoe the Obscure]

I have only started so it is a while away before i don't need support from others.  I am not sure about online support, but i do intend to continue contact with my local transgender groups.  Later on i would like to help new transitioners and impart any wisdom i have on the matter.  I feel people were there for me, and i want to return the favour.

[JulieBlair]

Hmmm,  the goal for many is life, stealth, just living authenticity.  So it follows that this venue will fade in importance.  That is, as others have articulated, as it should be.  I will be post op sometime in late winter, the timing will be largely determined my what is necessary at work, but will I wander off? Probably not, I'm still a part of a community that keeps me whole.  It is still important to me that people in the beginnings of growth into their authentic selves have the perspective of time.

The people here who have already walked the path, have helped me both with their thoughts, but also with their simple presence.  I need to know that there is a land over the rainbow.  That I can get there, and that it will be okay.  Experience informs struggle.  Struggle informs life.

I have a great deal of gratitude to you all and a debt as well.  For me to discharge that debt is to do what I can to ensure that whenever anyone reaches out, there is a hand and a friend reaching back.  In so far as I can be helpful, I hope to be one of those hands.

Peace,
Julie

[Jess42]

Hmmm,  the goal for many is life, stealth, just living authenticity.  So it follows that this venue will fade in importance.  That is, as others have articulated, as it should be.  I will be post op sometime in late winter, the timing will be largely determined my what is necessary at work, but will I wander off? Probably not, I'm still a part of a community that keeps me whole.  It is still important to me that people in the beginnings of growth into their authentic selves have the perspective of time.

The people here who have already walked the path, have helped me both with their thoughts, but also with their simple presence.  I need to know that there is a land over the rainbow.  That I can get there, and that it will be okay.  Experience informs struggle.  Struggle informs life.

I have a great deal of gratitude to you all and a debt as well.  For me to discharge that debt is to do what I can to ensure that whenever anyone reaches out, there is a hand and a friend reaching back.  In so far as I can be helpful, I hope to be one of those hands.

Peace,
Julie

You do know you don't owe anyone anything right? But helping others is what it is all about, whether through informative information or just sharing life experiences. Yeah, I know I'm kinda' strange and weird but if there is a young person out there somewhere that is going through what I went through and can save them all the BS I went through then hopefully Karma will smile on me, which I really need badly. Not really though but I just hate when people hurt and emotional pain or psychological pain is way more painful than physical pain. Unfortunately too many of us know that mental and psychological pain too well.