So far everyone knows about me and seems quite supportive except my father who is mister tough guy. Lucky it doesn't really affect me much at all since I live with my mother who is like 100% supportive. However it's not like I can keep it from him forever. I've been debating over telling him for the longest time and finally decided to go for it. Which I look back now and ask if I was insane in that thought seeming if you knew him you'd know he's like the last person you'd tell this kinda thing to.
Much planning went into how to tell him and what one could expect from this. I called him and asked if we could meet for lunch or dinner I need to talk to him about something important. He of course had to find out right away and ended up taking the first half of the day off. After my laser treatment I met him up at Applebees. Explained everything starting with keeping it to himself, not blaming anyone, what it wasn't, how i'm not changing, and what it was. I went into detail about gender identity and sexual orientation. I mentioned how I still am able to continue going to church. He didn't seem to really understand any of it and it was like complete shock. I tried bringing up the past and previous hints at it but that didn't seem to help much. At first he was like do you know what your doing and then at the end it was like okay so this is how it's going to be. He said that he's going to be mad but he wouldn't hurt me. He said he'd go out drinking tonight and maybe start some fights. He told me not to turn down my grandmother which no way would I ever do. He said that he must express himself even though I told him that honestly he's so close to losing me. Afterwards I received this weird half hug bit and we went our seperate ways. I probably won't be seeing him much because he can't control his own emotions and I find him to be a bit scary. He said that I was very brave coming and talking to him face to face. It's not something I wanted to do more or less something I had to do. It was out of respect. Plus it would be nice to have a father every once in a while. I still love him and hope somewhere he sees me for me.
This is probably the hardest part so far. It hurts quite a bit.
Cannot sleep atm been sleeping all day since I got home. It's quite late here.
Now that I'm done coming out it does feel good. There's no more hiding from anyone. If I had to tell him again I would.
