I Could Use Some Guidance

[iiMTF]

First off, I believe I may be transgender. MTF, to be exact, as stated by my username.

For four years, I have felt I am different then the other boys; they all seem to be into sports, fighting, and all that stuff. I, on the other hand, tend to just watch about half the time or play with the girls the other half. In these four years, I have been upset with my gender, always wishing I was born a girl. Often I see females on TV or YouTube, and I automatically think "I wish I was born one of them..". It hasn't been too serious up until 2 months ago. For the past 2 months I have not been able to get the idea of being female out of my head. No matter what I try, it always seems to be there, the main thing I'm thinking about, and it won't go away.

I've also noticed another thing about it: my movements. I walk like a female, I make hand gestures I've only seen females make (and been corrected for doing it plenty of times, I just never end up adjusting).

I have read and have been suggested that a good way to start is crossdressing, and I'd like to, but unfortunately cannot. I am way too nervous to do it.

Also, I haven't told anybody close to me yet. I don't know how to talk to them about it. (could I get help on that? I really just can't bring myself to say anything, I've been trying for 2 weeks)

I have read several other folks transgender articles, watched documentaries, etc. etc. and find that a lot of them are very similar to my own.

To end this, I will restate:
I cannot stand being a male, I am deep in depression, I will do anything to become female. (well, surgery is a hard topic that I need more time to think about. But I'd definitely take hormones and stuff like that)

I know I should see a gender therapist; any suggestions for the Florida, USA area?

Thanks.
-L

P.S. Sorry if this was a bit long :p

[cynthialee]

I think that the only real advice I can give is to just go for it.
Talk to your mom. Pick a time when you are alone with her and ask her to listen to you as you have some really deep stuff going on. Write out your speech and have it in hand when you talk to her.
Remember these things:
You are not bad or wrong for needing to transition.
The medical literature is on your side in this matter.
DO NOT GET CONFRONTATIONAL OR DEFENSIVE!!! {this is vital, even if you are attacked....walk away from the conflict}

I think that you should post this stuff in the MTF section. Here on the introductions board the traffic can be a little slow. The MTF section is much more lively than here in introductions.

[Jessica Merriman]

A big warm welcome to the family! As far as a Therapist you might try PsychologyToday online. There are ways to narrow your search by state and city. If you find one be sure to call and make sure they understand or have experience in gender issue's. Most places will require a letter from the to start HRT, not all, but most. Just go about this with knowledge and once you make a decision do not waver. You could cause yourself more confusion internally if you do. Just understand transition is for life as reversal while possible are very hard and you will never be like you were before physically. You have access now to a great amount of information here so study hard as transition is serious business.

Please read these important topics

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  

[Susan522]

"I will do anything to become female. (well, surgery is a hard topic that I need more time to think about. But I'd definitely take hormones and stuff like that)"

Hmmm....yes.  Profession help, (IE: Gender therapy), is definitely in order.

[iiMTF]

Cynthia! I need your help! Sorry I'm posting this here, I cant pm you.

For some reason, I was permanently ip banned from Beginning Life Forums! =(

Please help, I don't know what to do. Please see what you can do... =(

Best wishes
-L

[cynthialee]

Hi hun,
Calm down.
Probably just Katie (the admin at BLF) covering her ass as we do not have youth on Beginning Life. Or there was a mix up and she just automatically banned you from habit.
I sent you a message to the email address you used to attempt to join BLF. So you have the info that was promised.
If you really want to post to the outer boards again....reset your IP.
But please, take advantage of this wonderful forum here at susans. They are way better geared to assist youth than the old biddies at BLF. lol

[cynthialee]

oh yeah....you need to make like 15 posts here at Susans before you can make private messages to other members
They want to see how you act before they give out keys to the wine racks so to speak.

There are so many forum sections here that will take months to read (I know, it took me that long...) and so much of the information is golden.
Go to the reference library here. It is full of neat stuff.

[iiMTF]

Thanks, Cynthia. Sorry, I was just frightened. About the IP address; I haven't the slightest idea how.

(no offense to what I'm about to say... sorry! :p) About susans.org; it's confusing here. I don't understand how to use this site as well as BLF. I'll try, but I really don't understand this site. Plus, it'd be like completely starting over.

... =(

[cynthialee]

Here is how you reset your IP address....{you didn't hear it from me}
turn off your computer if it is on
then:
unplug your router from the wall and remove the phone cord {or cable cord} from the back of the device and let it sit for 2 minutes

plug it back in and turn it on
bingo, IP has been reset

[Allyda]

Cynthia! I need your help! Sorry I'm posting this here, I cant pm you.

For some reason, I was permanently ip banned from Beginning Life Forums! =(

Please help, I don't know what to do. Please see what you can do... =(

Best wishes
-L

Hi iiMTF,

Welcome to Susan's. Your prolly not permanently banned from things. You need to make 15 posts before you can send pm's or post an avatar. You've already been given some great advice, so I'll just send you a biiiig cyber hug . Just know you've found a wonderful community full of support, and the loveliest ladies and gents on the internet.

Ali

[iiMTF]

@Allyda
I wasn't speaking of anything on this site, I know I'm not banned from here. Sorry if that came across confusing.

For another place, tho, whenever I attempt to login I get the message: Your prior actions have resulted in you being permanently banned from this forum. Goodbye.

Sorry if there was a bit of misinformation there.

-L

[cynthialee]

Well susans is so much larger that they are able to provide in my opinion a vastly superior web site than BLF's old school web forum software.
It may be a little ungainly but it can be navigated.
My first thing I want to go to susans is I have the forums section on a hot key so it takes me right to the main forums page instead of the entrance portal:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php

I find it helps.
There is also a button that is right next to your profile stuff that says:
Show unread posts since last visit.
Show new replies to your posts.

These two buttons are some of my go to options here. Especially the new replies one. Makes it so I do not have to go through a bunch of other peoples posts to see if someone has replied to my posts.

Support should be a multi faceted thing. Do not have Susans, or BLF or any other resource be your sole avenue of support. As much as we all like to help each other, sometimes you do not get an answer in time, or you want to talk to someone specific.

[cynthialee]

well stop trying to log into BLF, just post anon like you were
I already told you that as you are a youth we would not let you into the group. We have no issues helping youth on the outer boards but we are not able to provide youth with the type of support they truly need. So the inner boards are 18+ only. Sorry hun.

That is why I brought you to this place and the other forum that is moderated. Because there are youth here that are in your shoes. I am just middle age woman who didn't transition until she was 41...my transition and your transition are so vastly different that most of my experiences will be of no use to you in the long run.
When Allyda said we are a wonderful community she wasn't kidding or just making polite noise. I do not know Allyda from mother Eve, but she is a sister in peril, so she is my sister. As are you.

[iiMTF]

Three things:
1. I am not trying to get on the inner boards. One of you just told me to register.

2. I can't get on anon either. I'm ip banned, so I can't even get on anon.

3. Still can't figure out Susans. o.o

-L

[cynthialee]

Sorry, that chain of events was my fault. I was the one who told you to attempt  register so I could get your email in a safe fashion,,,,

To the other members of susans who may be somewhat confused as to why another forum keeps coming up:
I am a moderator at the forum we are discussing. I referred this youth to susans so you wonderful folks could help her in the best way possible.

[iiMTF]

Alright. Just, can you tell me exactly where I should post? I'm looking at all these different categories, and it's just confusing...

-L

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Alright. Just, can you tell me exactly where I should post? I'm looking at all these different categories, and it's just confusing...

-L

Just look around for a bit. You will get the hang of it.

And welcome!

[iiMTF]

Just look around for a bit. You will get the hang of it.

And welcome!

I've looked around an hour or two total today, I still haven't the slightest idea where to post.. =(

-L

P.S. Thanks for the welcome :p

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Then begin with the Transsexual Talk & General Discussion forums. Seems like a good starting point.

[cynthialee]

Then begin with the Transsexual Talk & General Discussion forums. Seems like a good starting point.

Yeah this is a great place to start.

I would go to the MTF section every day for the first two years of my transition. The women who helped me back then are so special in my heart. I rarely see them post, and mainly just see them on Facebook, but it does my heart good when we do cross paths.