Even the strong have heartbreaks

[suzifrommd]

Jessica, I just read this. I'm so sorry you have to live with such poison. You're a loving, caring soul, and I'm sure you're a wonderful parent. You don't deserve any of this. I promise you that some day your daughter will realize what an awful thing she did and I only hope it's soon enough to let you back into her life. (I won't say the same about your ex. That sort of anger runs deep.)

Hang in there. I'm sending healing thoughts your way.

[Cindy]

Hang strong Sis. Your son is awesome. Your ex is - well

how can I say how I would face the situation? I'm pretty sure you know me well enough

[Jessica Merriman]

That sort of anger runs deep.

The humorous thing is being trans had nothing to do with the upcoming divorce, it is just icing on the cake!  She never had a clue. In a way I am thankful she left because it allowed me to be born!

[Jessica Merriman]

how can I say how I would face the situation? I'm pretty sure you know me well enough

Since we are such good friends how about 48 hours notice if I ever upset you, please! 

[RockerGirl]

Awww Jessica!! Big hugs!! Sorry you have to go through that, but I know your proud you raised such an amazing young man! You'll get through it all cuz your just so amazing girl!!!;D

[mrs izzy]

Sis,

You know I have your back, well in Canada would be more way back.lol.

Wish we did not have it come down to childish behaviours but seems divorce pulls the childish games out of the best.

Moments in court can be priceless when the judge wipes the he's a trans smirk off a x'es face with a simple word. So.

You are correct that so many here feels we had a easy transition. Try an live and support a family and job while struggling inside of un happiness. Not so easy.

Many like Jessica understands and holds the key to happiness. It has always been the key, just not everyone is at that point to accept the key.

Jessica, hugs to you and a big one for your son. He truly is a fine gentleman.

[Eva Marie]

Jessica - I am sorry that you are having to go through this but it sounds like your head is screwed on nice & level. Keep living right and doing right by people and this too shall pass. I am especially proud of your son and the way he stood up for you! Your daughter may come around to a different viewpoint once she gets out in the world so keep that door open for her.

Like someone else said I hope that judge embarrasses your wife in court. You did nothing wrong dear.

[LivingTheDream]

Sorry you have to go thru all this crap Jess . I hope your daughter one day realizes what a absolute sweetie you are and comes around and realizes what a mistake she made.

Remember Big Sis, you can always blow up my inbox if you need to, I have certainly done my share in blowing yours up!

[stephaniec]

 

[helen2010]

Jessica

What a terrible situation and one which unfortunately is not that uncommon..  We are here for you, as you have been here for us.

Be well

Aisla

[ErinWDK]

Jessica,

I am so sad to hear this has happened to you.  Your attitude is amazing!  And kudos to you son for handling himself so well in such an awful situation.

As others have noted, if you look for it with the right attitude, you may find some humor.  Your ex is going into this with so much vitriol that some where some thing is just NOT going to go her way.  One indivual in a really ugly divorce went to the other's attorney after some of the court costs and attorney's fees had been reversed to them because they had been responsilbe for way too much excess litigation (this person with a PhD no less) and complained "Your fees are exuberant!"  Hopefully you can find some humor to relieve this utter darkness.

Again, your attitude is amazing!  Hugs Sister!


Erin

[Jess42]

God Jessica. I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. I do know that if your son is over a certain age, the judge will give him the choice of who he wants to stay with. Where I come from it is or was 14 I think I know your state and my home state aren't that much different. So sorry to hear about how your daughter is reacting. Maybe she will one day understand things a lot better than what she does now. You have one heck of a son and seems like he is very accepting of you and actually proud of you. Sounds like you raised a real man there. For that you deserve a big hug. As for your daughter though, hopefully she will find her way back. Sorry I didn't catch this Sat while having my little meltdown. Now I really feel bad.

[Beverly]

I may seem to have to easy a transition to some here and I just want you to know I have the same problems as all of us here. Today I was notified by my daughter that she is changing her last name to her mothers maiden name. She is doing this because she is ashamed to carry my name and is embarrassed of me.

All she is doing is marking herself as someone who is intolerant ...

She has disowned me and her grand parents who have only loved and supported her the 16 1/2 years she has been alive.

... and an ingrate as well

I am naturally crushed and heart broken,

but it will not deter me from my goal in life of being post op.

Good for you. I have similar problems with my mother who insists on misgendering me everywhere we go and every chance she gets. Darned if I can understand why

....I know this is being done to cause me pain and nothing will happen with my custody of my son, but it still hurts to know I will have to prove my stability as a parent. I have a great therapy team who will be in my corner the whole way.

I am glad to hear you have support and your son sounds like he is comfortable and confident in himself. You will come out of this OK and hopefully it will show your daughter that others are understanding and that maybe she should change her position.

[Shantel]

Good for you. I have similar problems with my mother who insists on misgendering me everywhere we go and every chance she gets. Darned if I can understand why

Vindictive, just plain vindictive and unforgiving,  it's about her disappointment at having lost control of you and your decisions for your own life. Ever hear this one? "Oh my God, I've given you the best years of my life, where have I gone wrong?" It's the same that Jessica is getting from her former spouse. It's just the same drama that comes from all controlling women. They have to be shunned, ostracized and treated as if they no longer exist for a length of time if not forever until they change their attitude. I did that with my mom for a ten year period and suddenly she changed her heart toward me.

[Beverly]

It's just the same drama that comes from all controlling women. They have to be shunned, ostracized and treated as if they no longer exist for a length of time if not forever until they change their attitude. I did that with my mom for a ten year period and suddenly she changed her heart toward me.

That is too aggressive for me.

She only visits once a year for a few days at a time and I pack her off home tomorrow. I can stand another 23 hours of her especially since I will be asleep for 8 or 9 of them.

[Allyda]

Thanks Shan! Yes, when I went full time Jan 1st I made myself a promise that from that point on I would harbor no ill will towards anyone and be someone others may call a friend. The old is gone and Jessica lives free and unapologetic!! 

I so much feel for you Jess and am sorry your daughter is putting you through this hardship. Like you say though, the only person she'll humiliate by making a show of things in court is herself. I'm so glad though even after all this your still willing to leave the light on for her. One good thing came of it though, your son has shown his meddle and has become quite the young man you can be very proud of.

Big hugs and all my hopes for the best outcome.

If you need to talk about this Sis you know my door is always open and I'm only a pm away.

Ali

[Jill F]

Big hugs, Jessica.  You and your son are awesome.

[Jessica Merriman]

Thanks everyone! Yes, my son is sooo amazing. 

[Myarkstir]

The ex questioned my son over a half hour and he finally had enough and told her to leave and take her small mind with her. He is my HERO!! He kept telling her I was a much better person now and no one should question my motives at all. He said no court order would ever make him leave me and that I was not "recruiting" anyone to be trans at all. He was really wonderful!! 

I really like your son. Great attitude 

[Myarkstir]

I did that with my mom for a ten year period and suddenly she changed her heart toward me.

Sounds familiar mine lasted 5.