So I had a long talk with my wife today. Actually it was while driving, after a wonderful day out with the kids.
Today I met my ex FIL and MIL. She met them and they met the kids. Anyway going home with my wife in the car we talked about a lot, about my childhood and how I had a lot of things I was unsure of about myself including fitting in as a boy and a man growing up. I talked little about my discomfort with being a man, how I made mostly friends with women, and still do. She acknowledged that it is true, except my shooting buddies (which is true). We had a discussion about our son and how he behaves unlike his sisters without us coaching to behave in any gender specific way. I explained how the human template by default is female but hormones change them and affect the brain and how some people end up with a brain of the opposite gender. I also talked about how I loved the kids and I'd never dream of abandoning them despite what I do in life. She agreed.
We had also gone to the crafts store for yarn. I enjoy doing that kind of shopping with her, exploring my feminine side.
In the end when we got home, we had dinner and she told me how she was really happy we talked and we should talk more like that, that she really enjoys honest and open communication.
I'm still nervous as to what will happen when I do fully come out, but as a warm up I'm getting a pretty good vibe. She has been my rock and has stuck with me despite sometimes shameful behavior from me, including "cheating" on her (I wanted to cut loose because pre-marriage we were full of drama with family so the first person that showed interest in me I ran with her) and me moving out for a few months in the beginning of our marriage. She said she never thought it would last even with my mother hating her. But it has, 10 years strong. I want her by my side through this and I feel she could be my strongest ally.
Wish me luck.
