could you be satisfied just being androgynous rather than ful time dress and all

[stephaniec]

This.

What I want and I what I need are different. I'm trying to be realistic, but if I could get what I wanted, I think I'd want it all.

the all would be great

[Shantel]

I suppose that "full-time" is referring to a binary female trans woman, I am full-time androgynous and no less than any other type of full-time person in spite of how I read the title of this thread. The OP could have preceded the word 'being' with (just) and the intent and meaning of the question wouldn't have been any clearer. Speaking for other non-binary members here at Susan's the insinuated marginalization of androgynous types here at Susan's as somewhat lesser is pretty disconcerting!

[ImagineKate]

I would never be satisfied being androgynous. It would be more of a stepping stone but I would hate it. Probably moreso than presenting as male.

I want to be a feminine woman. I want to wear skirts and dresses, daisy dukes and two piece bikinis. I want my look and even my voice to be feminine. I would wear a lot of "ordinary" clothes but I want to at least try to be chic. In particular I admire how French women dress. They have an impeccable sense of style (duh) and they don't seem to overdo it. In fact I dated a French woman at one time and I spent more time admiring how she looked dressed and accessorized than I did trying to get her clothes off, LOL!

[Lady_Oracle]

I tried andro and thought it was perfect for me but nope in the long run, it just made my dysphoria worst. But as soon as people started gendering me female in male clothing is when I stopped andro mode and went full time.

[Ms Grace]

Full time female for me. For me it is about being seen as, and treated as, and being a woman. I was going mental being seen and treated as a male.

Androgynous for me (height, hair, voice) would probably still get me labelled as male, so no.

[stephaniec]

Full time female for me. For me it is about being seen as, and treated as, and being a woman. I was going mental being seen and treated as a male.

Androgynous for me (height, hair, voice) would probably still get me labelled as male, so no.

yes,, it's quite a feeling to be totally free.

[katiej]

Shan makes a good point.  We all go through the andro phase, but for some of us androgynous is the goal.

That's not for me though.  I can't wait to be one of the girls.

[Susan522]

OK.  I am going to speak my mind as someone who has "had it all" for more than 40+ years, having undergone a full and complete medically assisted change in sexual characteristics, (genitals, hormonal rebalancing etc.), when I was 23.  So, please keep that in mind.

There was a period of time, (about a year), during that physical transformation when I did my absolute utmost to be invisable.  Although I had been on extremely high doses of female hormones I still had years of testosterone poisoning that needed to be negated and overcome.  Facial/body hair, stature, voice and musculature being just the worst of it all.  That was my "androgynous" stage.  That was my time in limbo between heaven and hell.  Those were my "dark days", when the loneliness, the pain, (from the SRS, the electrolysis, the dilation), was so bad that I wanted to die.

I understand that things are different now.  There are places where androgyny is 'cool' or accepted, but...for those of you that have the option/opportunity to make it all the way across the gender divide, why....why would you want to stay somewhere in the middle?

[kelly_aus]

I suppose that "full-time" is referring to a binary female trans woman, I am full-time androgynous and no less than any other type of full-time person in spite of how I read the title of this thread. The OP could have preceded the word 'being' with (just) and the intent and meaning of the question wouldn't have been any clearer. Speaking for other non-binary members here at Susan's the insinuated marginalization of androgynous types here at Susan's as somewhat lesser is pretty disconcerting!

It seems that it's acceptable to marginalise the non-binaries, I don't know why.

I understand that things are different now.  There are places where androgyny is 'cool' or accepted, but...for those of you that have the option/opportunity to make it all the way across the gender divide, why....why would you want to stay somewhere in the middle?

Could it be that not everyone is actually male or female in the binary sense?

[Jessica Merriman]

 
No disrespect towards androgyny's will be tolerated, period. Respect everyone's decisions because it is their lives.

[Allyda]

With very much respect to everyone here and those who have posted on this thread, I have lived in that "in between" stage for most of my entire life. And I very much admire those who are secure and happy as Androgynous, for you are stronger than I am, very much stronger.

Because my situation is what it is though, I must follow through all the way. Given my past and what I've been through and my lifelong manurisms and core Identity I just can't live as nothing less than fully feminine. I'm just too girly to be anything less. It's why I made such an awful excuse for a guy. Add to that my strong core identity as female, my very feminine body and my severe crippling at times genital dysphoria and my need becomes clear. I can't live and be happy as anything less than the woman I truly am, and have always been.

As always I highly respect and wish everyone here my absolute best in all your future decisions and endeavors as your true selves. Be true to yourselves and who you truly are inside and you will find true happiness. If I can find happiness coming from where I've been, I believe anyone can. That's the best advice I can give.

Ali

[Shantel]

As a full-time androgynous person I relate well to everyone and don't catch any BS from anyone ever. At the same time I am vicariously involved in the female realm in many ways and am able to step in and out of it at will rather than being stuck in any one mode full time. The reason this works so well is that there came a time when I realized that I didn't wish to go through all the hoops of buying an extensive wardrobe and continually having to cull things out and update it along with all the purses, shoes and matching accessories, have my hair professionally done and colored on schedule and have to put on and take off makeup day in and day out just to try and be successful and fit into the cis women's world. Then I knew that though most males sometimes will never clock me because all they look at is boobs and asses, that women who are ten times more discerning will and their level of acceptance will only be outward but inwardly they will think otherwise and whisper those thoughts to other women, don't kid yourselves about this!

Having carefully weighed all of this plus the probability of losing my wife and family in the process it occurred to me that it would be a losing proposition, for that reason I put on the brakes after my orchiectomy and said enough! I am so happy I did, because I have learned how to just be myself and enjoy every aspect of my life having lost nothing in the process. I have a few male friends who stuck with me and many female friends that I associate with. Why would I trade that just to have a vagina? For me the trade off would be positively asinine so really I shouldn't have to explain and defend my decision to anyone! There are many more who are beginning to think the way I do, so more power to the full-time trans women but you'll have to get over the fact that there are those of us who think differently and it's OK.

[stephaniec]

I think I'd like to say that as the poster of this question I wasn't questioning the validity of any ones life choices I was just inquiring about their thoughts about whether it really matters if your choice is maxing out dresses or just doing more of the jean thing. super models wear t shirts and jeans. Is it critical  to  wearing dresses to be passable .or to be accepting of your gender expression. I truly love dresses, but more often then not I'm in skinny jeans . what I intended to mean was  am I just as validly considered full time no matter where on the spectrum I fall can' t I be considered full time just by the fact that my body has E instead T for an MTF. There was no intent to marginalize . I was just trying to understand my own  conflict with the way I present in public. I love to be in a dress consistently ,but I don't think my face has changed enough yet to be viewed female without the dress and make up

[Allyda]

I think I'd like to say that as the poster of this question I wasn't questioning the validity of any ones life choices I was just inquiring about their thoughts about whether it really matters if your choice is maxing out dresses or just doing more of the jean thing. super models wear t shirts and jeans. Is it critical  to  wearing dresses to be passable .or to be accepting of your gender expression. I truly love dresses, but more often then not I'm in skinny jeans . what I intended to mean was  am I just as validly considered full time no matter where on the spectrum I fall can' t I be considered full time just by the fact that my body has E instead T for an MTF. There was no intent to marginalize . I was just trying to understand my own  conflict with the way I present in public. I love to be in a dress consistently ,but I don't think my face has changed enough yet to be viewed female without the dress and make up

Perhaps maybe wording of the title affected my and others replies Stephanie. However my replies to this were authentic to how I feel regarding my femininity and how far i must go to fully accept myself. As for the question you pose here^^___^^, of course, I would think so. I absolutely love dresses, but I don't wear them all the time. More often than not I'm dressed in a tank, halter top and shorts. In the wintertime for me it's usually skinny jeans and the same, tanks or halters with a cute light jacket over it. I've been full time for 5 years and I'm always gendered female whether in skinny jeans, tank/halter and jacket, or in a cute mini sun dress in the middle of summertime. I don't wear makeup everyday either. Many women today dress androgynously but they're still women, and so are you I suspect no matter if your in skinny jeans and a pretty top, or a dress with makeup or without. I just have one word -Booby's. When people see booby's they automatically think WOMAN.

I hope it helps.

Ali

[stephaniec]

Perhaps maybe wording of the title affected my and others replies Stephanie. However my replies to this were authentic to how I feel regarding my femininity and how far i must go to fully accept myself. As for the question you pose here^^___^^, of course, I would think so. I absolutely love dresses, but I don't wear them all the time. More often than not I'm dressed in a tank, halter top and shorts. In the wintertime for me it's usually skinny jeans and the same, tanks or halters with a cute light jacket over it. I've been full time for 5 years and I'm always gendered female whether in skinny jeans, tank/halter and jacket, or in a cute mini sun dress in the middle of summertime. I don't wear makeup everyday either. Many women today dress androgynously but they're still women, and so are you I suspect no matter if your in skinny jeans and a pretty top, or a dress with makeup or without. I just have one word -Booby's. When people see booby's they automatically think WOMAN.

I hope it helps.

Ali

well, luckily I've got the boobies

[Shantel]

I think I'd like to say that as the poster of this question I wasn't questioning the validity of any ones life choices I was just inquiring about their thoughts about whether it really matters if your choice is maxing out dresses or just doing more of the jean thing. super models wear t shirts and jeans. Is it critical  to  wearing dresses to be passable .or to be accepting of your gender expression. I truly love dresses, but more often then not I'm in skinny jeans . what I intended to mean was  am I just as validly considered full time no matter where on the spectrum I fall can' t I be considered full time just by the fact that my body has E instead T for an MTF. There was no intent to marginalize . I was just trying to understand my own  conflict with the way I present in public. I love to be in a dress consistently ,but I don't think my face has changed enough yet to be viewed female without the dress and make up

It's OK Stephanie, i understood where you were coming from, I just felt I'd make a statement for the androgynous people who sometimes get a little criticism from the militant MtF trans women which is uncalled for because there are those like myself who decided against full transition for various reasons and are happy right where they are,  then there's another whole class of MtF people who will never be able to afford what it would take to make them feel completely whole and sadly they will be stuck for life in an androgynous lifestyle whether they like it or not. You're always good with me Stephanie, I know your heart and you're a good woman.

[stephaniec]

It's OK Stephanie, i understood where you were coming from, I just felt I'd make a statement for the androgynous people who sometimes get a little criticism from the militant MtF trans women which is uncalled for because there are those like myself who decided against full transition for various reasons and are happy right where they are,  then there's another whole class of MtF people who will never be able to afford what it would take to make them feel completely whole and sadly they will be stuck for life in an androgynous lifestyle whether they like it or not. You're always good with me Stephanie, I know your heart and you're a good woman.

wow, thanks