Shopping

[Draconisister]

I've been wanting to start presenting myself as female but the idea of going shopping for clothes has me totally terrified. I'm always afraid something is going to go horribly wrong when I go like they wont let me try things on or something. I'm also never sure in what section i should actually be shopping in or what size I'm looking for everything seems to be different and really confusing. Fashion has never been something I have been good with. Does any one have any tips on dealing with my fears about this and how i should start building my wardrobe?

[Brenda E]

Here's what I did - not perfect, by any means, but it's working for me: Start at the thrift store.  They've seen it all before.  Figure out your sizes, colors and styles by trying and buying used clothes.  Once you can eyeball a top or pair of pants and know that they're the right size, you can move on.

Not kidding.  A trans person in the girls' clothes area at a thrift store is like a twenty-times-a-day event.  Nobody will care, and it'll give you breathing room to realize that no matter where you are, nobody actually cares too much that you're in the women's section.

It does take time, and I still get nervous.  But honestly, it's something we all make far too much of a meal of.

[Emily1996]

What about going to a store where there are changing rooms but without the supervisors that counts the clothes and stuff lol then when you get you size you can try other stores too... I don't like thrift stores but it's a personal thing if you do then it's ok.

[Nicole]

You can find shoe size guides on most online stores that sell shoes.
Just remember thou that mens sizes are for fatter feet, one of the reasons many of us drop a size or two when we start HRT.

[Valleyrie]

I've been out to myself for a while and still can't bring myself to go shopping. I haven't gone to the shops in over a year lol. I have the same fears as you about it so I end up buying online, which is usually cheaper too from my experience. If you can't bring yourself to going to a store then you always have the option to buy off the internet. There are several size charts you can look at online or they usually have them on the website you're buying from. Good luck.

[Nicole]

Not too sure where you are, but so many stores now have self serve counters. Go early, get a few things that you like from a target or kmart, use the self serve and don't think about it

[kim27]

Maybe ebay?  I did that - just bought a few cheap items in sizes I thought would be close to try

[Jess42]

Most if not all the time, they want to make a sale. Most of the salesgirls or guys would care less if you are little green man or woman from Mars or the Andromeda Galaxy as long as they make a sale.

Just remember the more uncomfortable you are, its gonna' rub off on them. If you go in confident and cool and in control the more at ease they will be. This is form someone that purchases makeup on a regular basis as a perceived guy.

[Boo Stew]

Online shopping. Some places like ASOS have pre-paid return labels and will accept everything back for refund. I literally order $700 worth of stuff and then return $600 just so I can get two perfect and perfectly fitting pieces. The danger of course being... you run the risk of liking all $700 worth.

[Draconisister]

I've been trying to get some of my girl friends to go with me but they always seem to be busy. My hope was that they would help relive some of my stress as well as help me pick things out so I at least appear to know what I'm doing.

[Rachel]

On line is a no stress event. You can return things too.

Thrift in a large city see all kinds and do not care.

I shop by mail and with my wife. She will only help me with andro cloths or thing like levis 511 jeans (I want 512). SO I may order a pair of 512 ad just mix them in.

[StevieAK]

No one cares and if you run into a rude one tell the manager and go to another store. Most love helping me look my best, a real challenge which they enjoy.

[Boo Stew]

I've been trying to get some of my girl friends to go with me but they always seem to be busy. My hope was that they would help relive some of my stress as well as help me pick things out so I at least appear to know what I'm doing.

My experience is that girlfriends might help you out in choosing stuff, but they also might just end up buying a bunch of stuff for themselves which has totally happened to me. I was told "it is known" by an insider.

[Draconisister]

I only have 2 girl friends who are actually willing to go shopping with me(not that a have many more than that) 1 actually hates shopping and is about as fashion savvy as me while working different shifts than me making getting together almost impossible. and the other is to busy for any kind of social life. I have gone shopping once with my friend who is super busy and shes has helped me get what I have my whole 1 outfit.

[Ashlotte]

If you can pass as female, then you could go shopping while presenting as female and you probably won't get any trouble. You probably won't get that much trouble anyway. Just tell the manager if any employee is rude to you.

If you're a fashion n00b I recommend Forever 21 or H&M. They're both full of great clothes at very good prices, especially Forever 21.

[ImagineKate]

I buy everywhere from amazon to wal mart to costco. Nobody bats an eye. I am pre everything.

I go to sephora often and I see guys there. Some are gay but some are shopping for their wives. I even have a beauty insider card. I buy skin and facial care products that my wife told me I should use. I buy makeup and samplers for her (and me).

I guess when I'm further down the path of my transition plan I would really enjoy shopping while presenting as female. I look forward to that. 

[Draconisister]

Don't even get me started on makeup. I may be bad with clothes but totally clueless when it comes to makeup.

the last time I went shopping it seems like one of the sales girls was fallowing me around giving me weird looks making me feel like I was doing something wrong and that I was unwelcome.

[StevieAK]

I was treated rude at a mac counter and complained to the manager and got a 100 dollar gift card. Stand up for yourself as only you can protect you.

[Boo Stew]

the last time I went shopping it seems like one of the sales girls was fallowing me around giving me weird looks making me feel like I was doing something wrong and that I was unwelcome.

You just described like every time I've shopped for anything ever. LOL.

[Hikari]

What I did was do a bunch of shopping at my local goodwill outlet store. At first I bought basically anything that was in my size that was even close to being in season. I ended up with a dresser full of clothes for $20. I tried lots of these different things on (at home, no fitting room at my outlet) to see the sorts of looks I liked, and to see the kind of things that I might not have expected actually look good.

After that, I re-donated like 80% of the clothes I had bought, since only about 20% were going to be things I would really wear and enjoy. I then went to proper stores (don't get me wrong I still hit up the thrift stores) and bought the items I needed to complete a reasonable wardrobe.

At least this way when you are trying stuff out in the fitting room you already have female clothes, so no reason not to go en femme and then no one is the wiser. I remember at one of our local clothing stores you have to get a clerk to write your name on the fitting stall to reserve it while you are there, and it was the most natural thing in the world to go to the clerk as a woman and tell her "My name is Vera, and I want to reserve that fitting room". I think I would have been very uncomfortable doing that in make clothes.