Blatantly looking for some level of encouragement

[Aus76]

- Removed by request of OP -

[mrs izzy]

Try and find the book

She's Not There by Jennifer Finney Boylan

Its a good read and being you are a teacher will give you hope.

Love can change over time so just the fact she is willing to be partner does not mean the future might change for both of you.

Also GCS might not even be something you need to be happy so just take things one day at a time and keep the communication open.

Wish you and yours the best. Remember that your daughter is going to also need help as needed when changes start to happen.

Hugs

[suzifrommd]

Greetings from a fellow high school teacher.

Two years ago I was a respected male high school teacher. Then I transitioned on the job. Now I'm a respected female high school teacher. No one gives me a hard time because of my transition (though to be fair, there is a law here banning discrimination based on gender identity).

Any potential there? Or am I destined to be freakish, face-wise?

If you want to, you will have a more than satisfactory transition. You will begin to see yourself as beautiful. Your features will provide no obstacle to being thrilled with yourself as a woman.

[Indecision]

Hey,

Sorry about your current situation. I can relate to turning to food to feel better - it's a bad cycle. Sounds like you're on your way to breaking it though.


Oh and I think you'll transition really well, at least I don't see anything uber masculine about your facial structure. Good luck! Seems like you're an inspiring story in the making.

[Athena]

First of all you might be surprised at how well your face can turn out.

Second with the wife start with small positive associations. Listen to her when she is talking about feminine things (it will also help you learn ). Go with her shopping and ask questions and try to make suggestions and see what she has to say. If she is frustrated ask her to wax your legs or arms, let her get her frustrations out (I would think it would not be fun for you but she might associate you becoming more femme with a reduction of anger). Be more open with your feelings with her, let her in more then you may be comfortable with.
The last bit is definitely nsfw. Take a night and make it be all about her and her pleasure. Run a bath for her, light candles, rose petals on the bed. Only use your hands and mouth, make sure it is the best sex she has ever had. Cuddle with her afterwards.

Some forget the struggle that the SO's go through in their own pain. Your wife will mourn the loss of her husband, become the person she would prefer to be with. Become closer to you wife let her in and listen to her. Be a better parent for her child (not to say you aren't a good parent just be better).

[Aus76]

The thing is....she's never been into....mouth...usage. She won't let it happen.

Not to say that it can't happen in all other aspects, but she cringes when touched by me even in having the pre-everything talks.....she says that she can tell I am "trying too hard" to compensate for putting her through this.

As far as parenting goes, I think I'm pretty bad-ass. My daughter and I have a special bond because I took the first three months of her life off work and stayed home w/her. My wife expresses frustration that I'm the one who gets hugs and kisses and rarely does she.

[Aus76]

And let me say thank you to both of you for the kind words re: my face. The thing is, when I was in denial, I was always pissed that my face was not classically masculine. Now....heh....kinda glad.

[Athena]

Well damn I was hoping I had some good points there oh well.
But still try to be the one she would prefer to hang around with and give it time maybe you will find common ground were you both can accept.

[Aus76]

White Rabbit, you do make good points. I think it's just the way she is.......she pouts unbelievably if things aren't her way and does this passive-aggressive bulls**t to drive me crazy. You'd be amazed at how little can ever get done when one person just says "I don't know" to everything, literally everything, you say for days.

[Athena]

I imagine this is a shock to her, even knowing this could be a possibility she maybe had hope that it wouldn't. Hopefully she will come to accept it enough that the 2 of you can work on evolving your relationship. The important thing is that she doesn't want to prevent you from being with your daughter and she wants to stay in the partnership which is a better start then many.Try to take comfort at coming home to your daughter every day.

[LizMarie]

Point 1 - she hasn't walked out on you yet.

Point 2 - she hasn't immediately demanded a divorce.

Point 3 - she seems to want to try to make this work.

You're way ahead of the game for many others considering where you are, at least in terms of starting your transition. Remember though, to her, this is a giant shock. Even if there were clues, she probably deliberately denied them. To her you are her man and she needs to digest that the image is not really you, and that takes time. So give her time, go slow, be patient, and you might be surprised at how things change.

[Ms Grace]

The thing about hetro women is that they may love their girlfriends dearly but they don't want to make out with them let alone have sex with them. As, presumably, a hetro woman, your wife is likely to be severely conflicted at the moment. Yes you are the person she fell in live with, but to her you were also the "man" she desired. She may change her perspective with time and support and love and communication. I'd say, at the moment, she is imagining the female presentation of you as "you as you are now with lipstick and too much blusher, and a floral frock". Your transition, should you go down that path, will be a journey for her too. All the best!

As for whether you "stand a chance" looks wise I'd suggest checking out the Before and After threads...you'll see that great transformations can and do occur all the time regardless of the "starting point"...

[Aus76]

Thanks all for the kind words. Yes, it certainly is a positive that things are still relatively calm at the moment. Haven't been thrown out, so that's a plus!

I guess you just lull yourself into thinking that "well, she knows X, so she might accept Y, etc" type situations. My wife and I are extremely, extremely friendly first and then developed a love secondary. When we met I had flowing black locks and was very much andro. She still fell for me, and perhaps I let it deceive me into thinking that we'd eventually cross this bridge....or maybe, again, I just thought that I'd grow out of it. Who knows.

Things were a bit better today. Pulled out some old photos and both my girls came in to chat with me. A 2 year old interrupting a serious conversation to demand Elmo lightens the mood, especially when she follows it up with sign language.