Don't really like feminine things

[Cin]

I don't really like crossdressing, I find my male clothes pretty comfy and 'convenient', they don't get tangled anywhere. I don't like girly colors either, and I certainly don't like music girls like. I like male characters in movies, and I can get behind them better than female characters (Maybe because the majority of female characters have very little to do except looking weak).

Not that I hate crossdressing, but It's something I want to do very rarely, I don't really like makeup except for the eye stuff (which a lot of guys do). I do feel like that's all I really need, because I'm quite happy with my face, except for the hair and facial hair (for the most part)

I feel weird, like a tomboy almost, 'almost' because I know there are cis women that don't like a lot of girly stuff either. A lot of stuff woman do makes me go 'uggh', and other stuff they do makes me jealous. Right now, when I try to visualize myself as what I'd want to be in the future, I don't really see a huge difference from what I see in the mirror right now, I see myself as a female version of my current self. I just want to 'feel' like a woman in body like I do in spirit.... I want to be treated like a woman, but not right now, I'm still not ready. It's hard to explain. I don't know if it makes any sense.

I'm secure enough to be able to admit to this, and it's just what I am.

[Edge]

And that's perfectly fine. Be who you are.

[Cin]

Thank you.

[Indecision]

That's all very relatable. Worrying about not being feminine enough is something that has set me back a long time. I moved beyond that when I realised that expecting someone to behave in a certain way or have a certain set of interests because of their gender identity is sexism. The need to "feel" and be seen for who you really are is your gender identity, not what colours you like and dislike or your makeup choices.

I hate reading stories about MTF or FTM transpeople getting reactions like "but you're not into girl/boy stuff" or "you're not really very masculine/feminine". It's discrimination. Do what's comfortable, and not what you feel like you need to do in order to conform to "the rules".

[Cin]

That's all very relatable. Worrying about not being feminine enough is something that has set me back a long time. I moved beyond that when I realised that expecting someone to behave in a certain way or have a certain set of interests because of their gender identity is sexism. The need to "feel" and be seen for who you really are is your gender identity, not what colours you like and dislike or your makeup choices.

I hate reading stories about MTF or FTM transpeople getting reactions like "but you're not into girl/boy stuff" or "you're not really very masculine/feminine". It's discrimination. Do what's comfortable, and not what you feel like you need to do in order to conform to "the rules".

I have experienced that before, but not on this site.

Before I cross dressed for a few times, I wondered why women wear pants when they can wear skirts all the time, lol, but now I know... and knowing is half the battle. gi joe.

[Rachel]

The important thing is to do what you think you need to do to be happy or have less discomfort.

I am a jeans and shirt kind of person and I do not like getting dressed up.

[Brenda E]

. . . when I try to visualize myself as what I'd want to be in the future, I don't really see a huge difference from what I see in the mirror right now . . .

And that's no problem at all.  You can always - always! - do more if you find in the future that you need more.  If you're happy(ish) with where you are now, then that's absolutely cool.

As you've picked up on, there are a number of different aspects to becoming female: in no complete list, there's how you feel inside, how you look on the outside, and how others in society treat you.  They all interweave and affect one another, and some of us are stronger in some aspects than others.  For example, I don't pass, but inside I feel fairly feminine now that I'm on hormones.  The outside needs work for me, because that's important to me right now.

But there's no need rush through any part of transition.  You can pick and choose what you want to do, when you want it (with a few exceptions), and to what level you want to have it.  Nobody - especially not yourself - should be forcing you to go faster than you want.

If I could be a female "me", I'd take her in a heartbeat.  I don't mind the male "me", but I do wish like crazy she was female.  And with luck and time, that'll be an achievable fix.

Sorry for the rambling.  Tired, need to go to bed, and my mind is a mess right now.

[Jessica Merriman]

And that's perfectly fine. Be who you are.

I totally agree with this. As long as you are happy who is to say you have to conform to others supposed ideas. 

[TheQuestion]

I'm very similar, although I've started to feel more feminine, although I haven't begun HRT or anything.  I have to say as far as media goes - movies, music, games, toys, etc... - boys have it made.  I'm into comics and everything, but I like women's fashion, make-up, and most everything else that comes with being a woman.  I know how you feel though...

[Jill F]

There are as many ways to be trans as there are transpeople in the world.  Just be you, whoever you are, and do what comes naturally.   

Being comfortable with myself was the whole point of transitioning.  I would not be comfortable adhering to someone else's expectations of me, whether masculine or feminine.

[RockerGirl]

I've been set back a while because of this too. Took me a while to figure out that the tomboys that I was dating was the girl I wanted to be. I still like fashion and skirts, but I can still be the girl who likes cars, bikes, mma, and being outdoors. Took me forever to be Ok with that. Kinda felt like I had to be a super girly girl or I wouldn't be girl enough lol:

[Cin]

But sometimes I do get a little girly, so It's all right. I'd love to do it, but only rarely.

Thanks for all the replies, I did want to conform with other people before, but not anymore, and it's replies like these that make me feel confident.

[Illuminess]

The girl with the black clothes and combat boots (or Chucks), wearing only weird or minimalist silver jewelry, who has an aire of femininity without teetering into the realm of skirts and blouses, looks as if she probably has the entire discography of Swans or Bauhaus, and is secretly assumed to be bi or lesbian (and is) = ME. Hyper-femininity doesn't make the woman.

[Cin]

The girl with the black clothes and combat boots (or Chucks), wearing only weird or minimalist silver jewelry, who has an aire of femininity without teetering into the realm of skirts and blouses, looks as if she probably has the entire discography of Swans or Bauhaus, and is secretly assumed to be bi or lesbian (and is) = ME. Hyper-femininity doesn't make the woman.

The swans just keep getting better with age

I'm kinda like you, but in the closet though.

[aleon515]

I know quite a number of tomboy-ish MTFs. Funny that no one questions a cis female being tomboy, working construction, and liking football and cars. In fact, these days I think most people think it's cool. But sometimes they question MTFs, as if somehow you have to do this super femme. I even know other MTFs who are fairly critical of tomboys. Be yourself!

I'm FTM and not girly, but I do embrace my so-called feminine side. (Whatever that might be actually, not sure anymore). I love jigsaw puzzles, animals, and am kind of a foodie, and like to cook.

What you talk about is NOT *gender identity*. You are talking about *gender presentation*.
Funny, ironic thing, but some of the trans women who are tomboys "pass" (hate that word) better in that presentation than a more feminine one.


--Jay

[mac1]

I would really like to be able to wear feminine things and to even look feminine no matter what I am wearing.

[Jen♀]

Before I  ever came out to anyone (including myself), I would compulsively cross dress. But as I started to come out, there became less of a need for me to dress in overtly feminine clothes. I think this was because I no longer needed to dress a certain way to convince myself, and people could accept me even in my "boy" clothes; which proved to be one in the same thing. Skinny jeans and a sweater are all I need. I went to my sr. prom wearing a white pinstripe tuxedo with black nails, eye liner, and spiral tapers. For me, that was going as a women. I personally don't think I would feel comfortable going out in a dress. Just like many other girls out there.

[Cin]

It's not that I hate feminine stuff, if I had the freedom, who knows? Maybe I'd experiment more. Maybe I'm suppressing myself. I haven't cross-dressed in a long, long time.

I do no longer feel that cross dressing is important though. I've felt this way for a few years now, but I was scared of admitting to it for some reason.

[Cin]

I'm FTM and not girly, but I do embrace my so-called feminine side. (Whatever that might be actually, not sure anymore). I love jigsaw puzzles, animals, and am kind of a foodie, and like to cook.

I have never heard this from an FTM before, quite refreshing.

[TheQuestion]

I've been set back a while because of this too. Took me a while to figure out that the tomboys that I was dating was the girl I wanted to be. I still like fashion and skirts, but I can still be the girl who likes cars, bikes, mma, and being outdoors. Took me forever to be Ok with that. Kinda felt like I had to be a super girly girl or I wouldn't be girl enough lol:

Yup, I love cars (a LOT) and I'm a big time MMA fan.  Also, I've said this before, I'm very accomplished as a baseball player.  I'm not really into sports much these days, but I still have a lot of tom-boy in me.  People should be able to do what they want, be into what they are, regardless of their external gender, or internal gender for that matter...