Friend in a desperate situation

[sirty]

So ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, I have a friend that is in a bit of a pickle. When I say a bit, I mean his mother is a psychotic religious lady and he is 17 and has no legal rights. She found out that he is trans and screamed at him, laughed at him, blamed the internet, and wants to put him on estrogen and get his thyroid checked because she feels this will make him not trans. Obviously that won't work...
Does anyone have any advice, legal or otherwise, on what he may be able to do to avoid unwanted medication and mental treatment? Keep in mind she pays for everything (of course, she's his mother) and she definitely loves him, but her good intentions are going to kill him. If anyone needs further details in order to give proper advice, please ask. He knows that I am posting this and just wants help. I can only do so much to help until he's 18 (December of this year).

[Cynobyte]

If she is doing something against his will, first its child abuse and 2nd, it sounds like she may be committing a hate crime.  Tell him to say no, and get the police and child protection services involved.  His gender is his or hers to choose, just like his mom chooses in fairytales over flesh and blood..
But buying estrogen to punish?  Is this your boyfriend?  He may be blaming his mom for the estrogen because its his way  to cope with the transition.  Make sure what you are told is true before you get too many involved.  Not saying its a lie, but make sure its against his/her will before getting authorities involved..  I wish you both the best;)

[Dena]

I had a problem on another thread that was somewhat like this so I wrote a coming out letter that contained all the ammunition  I could think of. You might have already used better argumetns. Any way, see if it gives you some ideas.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190312.0.html

[Contravene]

He can refuse any medical treatment that he doesn't want. Even if she takes him to the doctor herself and pays for medical expenses she can't force him to start taking estrogen. If she does try to force him to do anything against his will it's child abuse even if her intentions are good.

My parents are pretty religious too and implied a few times that maybe I have a hormone imbalance that could be corrected by taking estrogen and "becoming a woman again" so I was afraid they may try to do something like this to me. They didn't though because they know I simply wouldn't allow them to force me into it and they didn't want to fight me on it. Your friend has to be strong and hold his ground until he's able to get out of the house.

My other advice would be for him to look into going to college and/or find a job so that he can become financially independent as soon as possible after he turns 18. His mother will have much less of a hold on him if he doesn't have to rely on her for anything as an adult.

[sam1234]

Your friend's mother sounds very uninformed. Sometimes parents don't know how to react to something they have no real knowledge of. Both need counseling. Your friend to help him deal with his own issue and his mother's. She needs counseling because it may be the only way she will believe that his being a transgender is real. Hearing it from an authority figure is often something they need to convince them that their child is not just going through a phase or read it on the internet.

Its hard not to judge the mother in cases like this, but all people react differently to the news. Granted, from what you are saying, she is being ugly about it, but finding your child is a transgender can elicit a number of reactions from good to awful. Even if you can't get the mother into treatment, try to get your friend in and go with him if it makes him more uncomfortable. As hard as it is, try not to say negative things about his mother. She is, after all, his mother, and sometimes you can say things about your own parents, but are hurt by what others say. The best thing you can do is be supportive and help your friend try to find someone who can guide him both through the transition process as well as dealing with his mother.

sam1234