How do cashiers react when you buy clothes that don't look like they're for you

[Im Kristen]

I bring this up because I'm a trans woman who doesn't pass so well.  I bought some nice clothes today and the cashier was giving away all these weird and funny looks when I put my clothes on the roller or whatever it is.  Does this happen to other trans and non binary people alot?  Let me know what you think.

[Hikari]

I never noticed anything strange, I mean even when I have bought clothes for myself before I had girl clothes, but I have also bought clothes for lovers, friends, and children so I don't see where it should seem strange.

Whenever I have done cashier work I barely even noticed what was being bought or by who to be honest.

[Jessica Merriman]

First, let me ask you why you thing you do not pass well? Second, how is your self confidence? Do you hide amongst the racks of clothing or go in like you own the place and have an unquestioned right to be there?

I ask because 80% of passing is believing in yourself and selling yourself to people. If you are shy and nervous people pick up these things and it attracts attention. I for one have not had a bad experience or anything in the 8 months I have been full time. I go in and instead of avoid people start conversations and make myself visible. I do not stick out in a bad way, but I blend because women are social creatures. I simply do not give anyone time to even consider something is off. It is amazing what belief in yourself and with a smile on your face can do for you. Act like you belong there and don't let yourself have questions like you asked. You DO belong there, those ARE your clothes and you have a RIGHT to be free and happy. 

In other words quit worrying about cashiers opinions, public opinion, what you are buying, what or who it is for. Most are too busy with their own lives if the truth was know.

[Jill F]

I used to buy things in the women's department just for my wife.  It's not exactly a big deal.  If I was ever given any crap for it, I would have just said, "There went your commission!" and walked out.  Never happened.

[justkaty]

First, let me ask you why you thing you do not pass well? Second, how is your self confidence? Do you hide amongst the racks of clothing or go in like you own the place and have an unquestioned right to be there?

I ask because 80% of passing is believing in yourself and selling yourself to people. If you are shy and nervous people pick up these things and it attracts attention. I for one have not had a bad experience or anything in the 8 months I have been full time. I go in and instead of avoid people start conversations and make myself visible. I do not stick out in a bad way, but I blend because women are social creatures. I simply do not give anyone time to even consider something is off. It is amazing what belief in yourself and with a smile on your face can do for you. Act like you belong there and don't let yourself have questions like you asked. You DO belong there, those ARE your clothes and you have a RIGHT to be free and happy. 

In other words quit worrying about cashiers opinions, public opinion, what you are buying, what or who it is for. Most are too busy with their own lives if the truth was know.

I needed to read your post. Thank you.

[Im Kristen]

I needed to read your post. Thank you.

I have lots of self confidence.  I literally don't give a ->-bleeped-<- and I look like I own the place.   

My self confidence isn't a problem, I just happened to notice his reactions.  It's actually the first time anyhting like that ever happened because most people are too nice to nod their head at me anyway.

[Im Kristen]

First, let me ask you why you thing you do not pass well? Second, how is your self confidence? Do you hide amongst the racks of clothing or go in like you own the place and have an unquestioned right to be there?

I ask because 80% of passing is believing in yourself and selling yourself to people. If you are shy and nervous people pick up these things and it attracts attention. I for one have not had a bad experience or anything in the 8 months I have been full time. I go in and instead of avoid people start conversations and make myself visible. I do not stick out in a bad way, but I blend because women are social creatures. I simply do not give anyone time to even consider something is off. It is amazing what belief in yourself and with a smile on your face can do for you. Act like you belong there and don't let yourself have questions like you asked. You DO belong there, those ARE your clothes and you have a RIGHT to be free and happy. 

In other words quit worrying about cashiers opinions, public opinion, what you are buying, what or who it is for. Most are too busy with their own lives if the truth was know.

I have lots of self confidence.  I literally don't give a ->-bleeped-<- and I look like I own the place.   

My self confidence isn't a problem, I just happened to notice his reactions.  It's actually the first time anything like that ever happened because most people are too nice to nod their head at me anyway.

[Nicole]

I'm not sure if this is just a Melbourne thing or not, but I never hear of anything like this happening here.
If someone says something, speak with their manager, if nothing happens, speak with their boss, if nothing happens, speak with HR (if a bigger chain) and take it to social media.
Get names, times and witness'.

I remember a case a few years ago here when a larger girl wanted to try on a dress in an up-market store.
The sales girl was that rude that she said "we do not sell clothes to fat people"

She called head office and was told that they won't do anything, so she took it online, within days the company had a change of heart, said sorry, sacked the store manager & sales girl.

Now, if you are worried, just move on, when I first came out I was worried, no one ever really cares.

[Lisa55]

i had one at xmas who was real chatty and friendly with the previous customer, but when i presented as cis male and plonked down my SO's sexy lingerie xmas present, she (about 20ish) turned real cold and clinical, almost disgusted by this 40 yr old male buying lingerie. It was so much of a change from the previous customer that i considered seeking out a manager for a word, but at the end of the day decided i had better things to do a couple of days before xmas and i seriously doubted it was any kind of discrimination, just a 20yr old girl being grossed out by an old man buying sexy undies.  I'd have really grossed her out if they had them in my size as well lol

So i figure some will have hang ups no matter, it may trans, color, goth, one legged pigmy.  It may be discriminatory, in which case it should be called out to management, or they may just get on with their job but by doing the bare minimum, and maybe not being as nice as they could/should be,  end of they day the world takes all sorts and whilst one persons interaction can leave a bad impression the previous or next may find their soul mate. 

Best thing if you don't really give a .... is to carry on not giving a .... unless they are proper rude, then if you want to, call them out on it

[Eevee]

I've only tried doing this more recently (within the last month). One cashier was super nice, helpful and chatty with me. Pretty much all of the others just kept going through the motions of their jobs, since they really do not care enough to react. I prefer the not caring reaction, because I am such a terrible, shy introvert that I would rather avoid attention, even if I was buying something that didn't make me stand out.

[Michelle G]

Not once have I had a problem or was asked anything other than "would you like a gift receipt?"

Over the years I have bought many many cute things for my daughters, spouse, sister and of course myself

Confidence and lack of guilt are the key things to show. Smile when glanced at and like said, shop like you own the place...enjoy the experience and be the girl you deserve to be

[Asniceasme]

I have never had a problem buying stuff for myself, or my wife...whenever I go shopping, and I get someone coming up to me asking if I need help, I don't say who it is for, I just say that I am looking for a nice top/skirt/dress/lingerie in a particular size.

[BeingSonia]

I was on a business trip in France last week.
On Friday, I had time in the morning before catching my flight back to Japan.
At home, I use a pair of ballerinas as sleepers that I bought in H&M last time I went to Europe.
I decided to buy another pair and a pair of flats for when I go out (my 30th and 31st pair of women shoes I have)
They don't have my size in Japan despite what they advertise on their web site. I wear between 41-42 European size (about size 10).
Anyways, got in the shop, walk straight to the shoes, looked for my size.
Another customer greeted me, with a look like "dude, are you in the right section?"
I was also wearing a suit...
Arrived at the cashier, a guy, stared at me, tries to remove the anti-theft tags but the device didn't work.
Other customers started to accumulate behind me.
Women of course...
Cashier continues to stare at me while trying to remove the tags.
Finally got the shoes, paid and left.
"Have a nice day, Sir!" with a stare telling "You know you bought women shoes?"
Yeah... whatever...
I was in boy mode, still, I have long hair and both ears pierced for whatever that means.
The guy doesn't know me, I don't know him either and I'm not even living there...
Who cares, really?

Why would I do that? Well, I'm learning not to care and spend the money the way I want.

Sonia

[Releca]

I think there are quite a few good ideas here but if shopping for yourself or family it doesn't matter and shouldn't matter to the sales rep either but society is quite cruel. All in all if that bothers you to the point you don't want to try again shop online. I know it can be a bit more hit and miss than going into a store but I've seen my share of natural women who only shop online due to the social pressure it can cause.

[MacG]

I buy men's and women's clothes, including clothe that are very much too large, and some too small. I've never (that I've noticed) gotten any kind of reaction from a cashier regarding the clothes. I am ftm and don't "pass" much of the time, and always wear clothing from the men's section. I've shopped Fred Meyer, Walmart, old navy, Nordstrom, and womens only stores (for my wife, who hates to shop) etc. So a variety of places.

[rosinstraya]

In guy mode I notice that they're OK if a little surprised. They've never once refused my money.

I'm sure it brightens their day.........serving the 16th trans customer of the day!

[TinaVane]

I have never experienced this but if it was some dust (shade ) being detected I know how to make somebody weep if it gets to that level.