Dude...sexuality is confusing

[jamesdoran]

So I've always considered myself to be straight, and never really thought much about it.
I mean...I've only ever dated girls. I have done sexual stuff with other guys but I could never feel the emotional attachment.
Anyway, I've been on T for a couple of weeks now and yesterday I realized I'm totally crushing on one of the guys that posts on this site. I think he's physically attractive but it's more than that.
It's not that I think that it's the hormones but could it be that I just don't feel as weird about being attracted to guys now?
I don't know. I think it's strange that this new attraction suddenly developed. I don't know what's going on! ha
Has anyone else realized during transition that you like the same/opposite sex when you never have before?

[Brandon]

I am a straight guy, But I have never heard of T changing what your sexual orientation and I would hope not because I love women tooo much haha. Its just like a normal guy going through puberty their sexualities don't change and if your infact born gay then thats not possible if your gay you were always gay same for if your straight.

[jamesdoran]

I am a straight guy, But I have never heard of T changing what your sexual orientation and I would hope not because I love women tooo much haha. Its just like a normal guy going through puberty their sexualities don't change and if your infact born gay then thats not possible if your gay you were always gay same for if your straight.

Right...like I said, I don't think it is the T. But maybe my outlook on things now that I'm transitioning, that makes it easier for me to accept being attracted to males? If that makes sense.

[jamesdoran]

or idk...maybe it's one of those personality crush things where it's just this guy in particular. I haven't noticed being attracted to any other guys yet...

[alabamagirl]

I know I've seen a lot of this on the MTF side. Girls saying their sexuality broadened or changed during/after transition or hormones. I personally believe it isn't so much that their sexuality "changed," as it is that people are being more honest with themselves and open to feelings they may not have been before. It's sort of what transition is all about, really.

[Brandon]

Right...like I said, I don't think it is the T. But maybe my outlook on things now that I'm transitioning, that makes it easier for me to accept being attracted to males? If that makes sense.

I have heard of that from other guys but you can find someone attractive witout being gay though. Of course its easier for a girl to tell another girl she's pretty because its more acceptable for females.

[mrs izzy]

I have always said do what you feel natural doing. I do hate trying to fit a label.

Enjoy life.

[jamesdoran]

I have heard of that from other guys but you can find someone attractuve without being gay though. Of course its easier for a girl to tell another girl she's pretty because its more acceptable for females.

True, it is a lot more acceptable.
I know that sometimes when I look up to someone it's easy to mistake those feelings of admiration for a crush. I guess that could be it.
idk, it's just very unsettling because I thought my sexuality was one thing I had figured out by now.
And as ->-bleeped-<-ty as it sounds i would rather just be attracted to only girls because I feel like it's easier.
but at the same time I don't want to deny my feelings if I could be bisexual.

[alabamagirl]

I have heard of that from other guys but you can find someone attractive witout being gay though. Of course its easier for a girl to tell another girl she's pretty because its more acceptable for females.

I know, right? And now that I'm presenting as a girl, I still can't compliment guys 'cause I feel like they'll think I'm flirting with them. And that would be really awkward for me, since I'm a lesbian.

[Kyler]

Dude, I honestly wouldn't worry about putting a label on it. Just go with the flow.

[Brandon]

I know, right? And now that I'm presenting as a girl, I still can't compliment guys 'cause I feel like they'll think I'm flirting with them. And that would be really awkward for me, since I'm a lesbian.

Yea I have been complimented by lesbians haha but I never take it as flirting because you guys like women just like me and I respect that no matter how hot you might be. Know I have seen some really bad lesbians and got mad because they don't date men but Ill never be rude about it lol.

[GnomeKid]

Maybe you feeling like a female (well feeling female in form despite your mental male-ness) caused you to push back your attraction to men.  Now that you're on T you probably feel more totally male, and perhaps your mind is letting itself feel the things it wouldn't before?

I am, however, also am straight (though sometimes I feel like a male lesbian =p).  Never had feelings for a guy, and T didn't change that.  I think though that if I did ever I'd be cool with it.  Life is rather fluid.. why fight it?

[Jill F]

Dude, I honestly wouldn't worry about putting a label on it. Just go with the flow.

Exactly.  Don't worry about this.  You're trans, and therefore beyond queer anyway.  If you like someone for whatever reason, just go with it. 

[Bimmer Guy]

Right...like I said, I don't think it is the T. But maybe my outlook on things now that I'm transitioning, that makes it easier for me to accept being attracted to males? If that makes sense.

For what it is worth, this is the most common explanation I have heard as to why guys start to be attracted to guys after they go on testosterone.  If it is accurate or not, I don't know.  I do think that some transmen, prior to T, shut down their sexuality as much as possible because it was uncomfortable for them because they are female bodied.  Now that they are experiencing the right hormones they kind of "wake up", "look around", and notice who they are attracted to.  It is like when the guy finally comes into his true self, his sexuality can finally/truly emerge.

[KamTheMan]

It's not uncommon. Since starting T I've noticed my sexuality might be slightly more fluid than I thought. To be with a guy pre-transition, there's so many reminders that our bodies are different and that I'm the girl. It's easier with a girl. Keep my clothes on, focus on her. I see myself ending up in a straight relationship long term, but I don't know where my head will be after top surgery when I'll feel comfortable getting more naked. I still feel fully confident about my attraction to women, the way they make me feel.. no words can explain. But I've been very comfortable exploring my sexuality (I'll just say it.. I'm talkin bout porn). So yea, it's definitely confusing, but it doesn't have to mess with your head if you don't let it.

[Tossu-sama]

I know I've seen a lot of this on the MTF side. Girls saying their sexuality broadened or changed during/after transition or hormones. I personally believe it isn't so much that their sexuality "changed," as it is that people are being more honest with themselves and open to feelings they may not have been before. It's sort of what transition is all about, really.

That's how it's been speculated in the FTM side as well, at least on one Finnish message board and I think it makes lot of sense.

I guess I'm now more open to the fact that despite being in a steady relationship with a woman I'm pretty damn gay. Pre-T, I don't think I would've wanted to be in a relationship with a guy but now I'm more like "sure, why not". xD

I have also pretty much given up with all the sexuality labels because... pfft, I just don't need them so why bother.

[Maleth]

Sexuality seems to be a fluid thing for everyone. I have to agree with others and say don't worry about labels.

[Ayden]

I always liked men and I still do, so I don't think t changes preferences. I think it's a comfort thing. Sexuality is complicated and honestly, we deal with enough labels. I would say just take your time and don't worry so much. It could always be a "with this person I'd be whatever" sort of deal.

[Brandon]

Sexuality seems to be a fluid thing for everyone. I have to agree with others and say don't worry about labels.

That I'd have to respectfully disagree with, Some peoples sexualities are fluid and some people know what they like and they are set on that. I have a problem with people who say that. But I agree with the second part somewhat.

[Maleth]

That I'd have to respectfully disagree with, Some peoples sexualities are fluid and some people know what they like and they are set on that. I have a problem with people who say that. But I agree with the second part somewhat.

Maybe I phrased that in an odd way... I did not mean to say that everyone isn't sure about who they like, I simply meant that for many people out there,  sometimes they go through a period of experimentation (especially through their youth) and a person doesn't have to always be 100% this or that.  Sexuality doesn't have to be a "set" thing in my opinion initially, because people need to somehow reach that point, right? I, for example, didn't know that I was attracted to people of all identities until a while ago. Before then, I thought I was "100% straight" and was convinced until I met a wonderful non-binary person and found I was attracted to them and thus pansexual. Bottom line of what I meant: People should be free to explore what attracts them and I don't think people should limit themselves to labels because sexuality is a beautiful and (sometimes) fluid thing. But that's just my opinion of course.