Am I crazy for feeling I have to come out now?

[Elis]

I've known I was trans since around April 2013, I have bad dysphoria and depression that makes me uncomfortable going out, unable to talk to people and feeling very self conscious. I don't have a job but I am applying for some and just feel my dysphoria and depression is holding me back. I would be much more confident taking T I think. Sometimes I feel I need to get over it and not care what other people think, but realistically I could wait another few yrs trying and probably not get better. The problem is I still live at home, so am sort of dependant on my dad. Although I get Job seekers allowance, but it's only a small amount and I do have savings if the worst gets to the worst. I tried coming out in april 2013, but it wasn't well planned at all. He made me see a GP immediately, and the GP set up an appointment to see a psychiatrist, which my dad wanted so I could get diagnosed. I didn't go though as I didn't see the point, as at that time I didn't want to go on HRT. My dad thought I went. It's been ignored since then, even though I present as male. I only came out as my depression got so bad since I discovered I was trans. It's better now, but that's kinda just bcos I feel happy about going on HRT. Although I am sort of happy how male I look, people still misgender me which makes me feel awful, which goes to my earlier point of whether I should just get over it. I've planned to stay over my gf's while I send an email to my dad, explaining how I felt before, what I'm going to do now and in the future (as suggested by another forum user). I will also include links to help him try to understand. I know this is my own decision, I guess I just want confirmation that I'm doing the right thing.

[Ms Grace]

My experience is that there comes a time when you cannot hold in the need to tell people any longer. Part of you really just wants to yell it from the rooftops. It sounds like you know where you're going, what you want to do, what you need to do. If you feel you really need to tell your dad then it sounds like now is the time. All the best!

[Elis]

Thank you

[Cin]

I have the urge to do, but the smart thing to do for me would be to wait for a few years at least. I'm still dependent on my parents, and I can only look for a job after I'm done with my degree. I almost came out two times though, and I don't know if I can hold on much longer.

[Elis]

I have the urge to do, but the smart thing to do for me would be to wait for a few years at least. I'm still dependent on my parents, and I can only look for a job after I'm done with my degree. I almost came out two times though, and I don't know if I can hold on much longer.

IMO, you shouldn't sacrifice your own happiness bcos of your parents, but I know from my situation how hard it is.

[Megumi]

When the time is right for you is when you'll know it. I wanted to transition well over a decade ago but the time was NOT right, there was no way I could have ever transitioned back in the late 90's/early 2000's. When I did come out the time was 100% completely right as I was in a good enough place in my life where I finally could.

Listen to your gut. Even though right now might not be the best time to transition you know it's in your future so start preparing for that day. One of my biggest regrets is not that I didn't transition in my late teens or early twenties instead of starting on my 30th birthday but the simple fact that I could have spent so many years putting aside money for my eventual transition and be in a much better financial situation to have the most successful transition possible and afford everything I need/want to do instead of basically starting from scratch on day 1. 

[Cin]

When the time is right for you is when you'll know it. I wanted to transition well over a decade ago but the time was NOT right, there was no way I could have ever transitioned back in the late 90's/early 2000's. When I did come out the time was 100% completely right as I was in a good enough place in my life where I finally could.

Listen to your gut. Even though right now might not be the best time to transition you know it's in your future so start preparing for that day. One of my biggest regrets is not that I didn't transition in my late teens or early twenties instead of starting on my 30th birthday but the simple fact that I could have spent so many years putting aside money for my eventual transition and be in a much better financial situation to have the most successful transition possible and afford everything I need/want to do instead of basically starting from scratch on day 1.

I'm 23, I wish I knew I was trans when I was 15 or 16, I would have taken steps to ready myself by now, unfortunately It was only one or two years ago that I did my research and learnt that I had GD and I might be trans.

I know what you mean, I feel like life is slipping away from my hands, but there's not much I can do right now. I don't know how long I have to wait, it's really depressing.

[jeninindiana]

for fathers i think it will help to just know that you have a plan for your life , including a future family and him becoming a grandfather i think both your parents will want you to experience that so explain that you can still have a family through surrogacy and ivf and yes at least the most important things in life you should have an answer for. both mom and dad will want to know that you have thought of your future and if you understand how the people around you are going to react to you. they are much more likely to take you seriously if you have planned your life out at least the main things in life such as family and relationships and career . let them know what your goals are and how you see yourself in the future.