What do people really think of me?

[Jera]

I've noticed a common theme in many posts when people are sharing somewhat more depressive feelings. Many of us find ourselves afraid to post here, with a feeling that what we are saying is too whiny/annoying/depressed or whatever. So many of us are afraid of what everyone else here thinks of us to share what's on our mind.

Maybe we can't always do something to alleviate the dark places in each other's lives, but we can do something to address this. I'd like to open a thread where those with the courage to ask can find what other people really think about us. That we may find the beauty that others may see in us.

Some ground rules:

1. So we can get more genuine responses, please feel free to share both the good and the bad we might see in each other. But if you're describing a flaw you see, try to stay constructive. What can I do to correct it and post in a better, more meaningful way?

2. Even if you're addressing someone you don't think very highly of, try to include at least one positive thing.

3. If you want to share what you think of somebody else, but for whatever reason don't want people to comment about you, just say so. Please respect those who have posted and aren't ready to get their own feedback.

I share a lot of these feelings. Does anything I post here have value to anyone? Does anyone even care? I realize I'm relatively new here, though, and not many of you may have even noticed me, let alone have an opinion of me. Start with yourself, if you don't have anything to share about me. This thread is about the beauty in all of us, it's not really about me.

[Sheala]

Im intreaged. I would love to know what people really think of me.

Ubfortunatly Jera, i dont have much knowladge or dealing with you so i am unable to form an oppinion.

[Shantel]

Hello Jera!
         I've never been terribly concerned about what others think about me to be honest. It may have to do with age and life experiences. I know some people think I'm ok and others think I'm a jerk and it's possible that the latter is more true than the former. Having been here for some time and observing human nature among trans people I have come to the conclusion that our concerns about what other's think of us has had a crippling effect on the self esteem of many. Often times it's better to not be as concerned about what others think and more concerned about learning to like ourselves with all of our own warts and blemishes.

[Melizza]

 I agree with Shantel, it is better not to be concerned about what other people think of us, specially the ones who start transition after 30+. In my case I started HRT around 35 and at the beginning I heard really ugly things, both from family and friends, I was crying every day, after a while I learned it was better not to care or listen this so called friends and just try to be happy for who I was, my life improved dramatically after that, I was happier and my transition was easier.

Many people does not understand (and don't care) about the changes we need to go thru to be who we really are, they are going to be mean and will try to hurt you anytime they can. It is better just to try to be happy without them, making sure we are happy with the changes as well happy with who we really are.

All of us are special and beautiful, do not let other people say otherwise!

[Kimberley Beauregard]

I've never been terribly concerned about what others think about me to be honest.

I'm much the same, but I often wonder how I come across to others.

[Jill F]

I ran out of sh*ts to give about what people in public think of me early last year, which was what made my transition happen in the first place.  I also don't concern myself with what people here think of me.  The fact is that my concsience is clean because I am truly genuine.  I am the real me, and I don't hold it back anymore.  If you like who I am, great.  If not, well, that's fine too.  Liking me is not a requirement, and I will not compromise myself to try to make that happen. 

So much for my political career...

Anyway, if I feel the need to express sadness, anger, frustration, joy or that I reached a milestone, then I shall.  If people want to listen, great.  If you think I suck for whatever reason, then well, that's just you being genuine.  I still support you anyway.

[Blue Senpai]

I don't think I exist enough on here for people to form an opinion on me...

[Umiko]

i've been here for a few months now but i highly doubt thats its even close to being possible to form an opinion about what other's think of me. i'm like the illusions of this world, i cover the truth in lies and i hide the lies within the truth. an enigma but i rather it be that way

[alabamagirl]

While I think the concept of this thread is interesting, I'm not sure it's particularly useful. I find my opinions of others are constantly evolving, and a lot of the times it really has more to do with my personal perception of things than anything they're doing. I try to keep an open mind and not judge people too harshly, even if all I know someone for are posts espousing views I strongly disagree with, I try to remember that, 1) this is only a small part of what makes up the individual, 2) I may come to see things in a different light at a later time, and 3) I've said and done plenty of things, myself, that I would now strongly disagree with and condemn.

As for my opinions on the current posters...

Jera, I really haven't seen you around enough to have formed any sort of opinion about you, but I do remember seeing a post I gave you a reputation point for a while back. Even though I'm an atheist, I was very impressed with your knowledge of The Bible and I found it incredibly refreshing to see someone who had actually done some study of it.

Shaela, I... Well, you seem familiar, but I can't recall what posts of yours I've read.

Dahl, I think you have a cute personality.

Shantel, you're someone I have a lot of respect for. Not only are you a supremely compassionate and giving person, but you don't let things like politics, religion or any of the other things that commonly divide people get in the way of forming friendships and relating to others. I think you're someone we could all learn a lot from.

mzaomz, I think you're relatively new around here. I haven't yet formed an opinion.

Kimberly Beauregard, I'm pretty sure you gave me a rep point and we briefly exchanged PMs. You seemed really nice.

And Jill F... A woman who is just constantly fun to be around. A great sense of humour and a caring heart.

Okay, you're all welcome to tear me apart now.

[Shantel]

Pikachu,
       You asked for it! I like you a lot, think you are a great gal and a thoughtful person, can't wait to see you on the "you look fabulous thread" when you're ready, because my gut feeling says that you are even if you don't think so like so many do about themselves.

[Jera]

Having been here for some time and observing human nature among trans people I have come to the conclusion that our concerns about what other's think of us has had a crippling effect on the self esteem of many. Often times it's better to not be as concerned about what others think and more concerned about learning to like ourselves with all of our own warts and blemishes.

Yeah, maybe this won't be useful as I hope. And I also agree that maybe we should not be so focused on what others think. But a lot of us are, anyway, whether we want to be or not. And often, or at least for me, I think is what is actually so debilitating is our perceptions of other people's perceptions. Maybe it can help in some small way to actually hear that we're not the monsters we tell ourselves other people see.

For me, even hearing that people don't notice, or are just indifferent, actually dispels a lot of those negative thoughts... My mind tells me that people surely must think poorly of me, and realizing that there is zero confirmation of this (so far, anyway *fingers crossed*) actually helps.

Or maybe this might just turn out to be fun. That's okay, too.


Anyway! Shantel, from the bits I've noticed of you, I don't think you're a jerk at all. Maybe a little brusque sometimes, but IMHO that's a good thing. You've definitely got a lot of wisdom, but that brusqueness cuts right through a lot of BS, straight to the heart of things. It's awesome to see.

And for Pikachu, I haven't seen anything but empathy and compassion from you. Nothing to tear apart there.

I haven't been around enough, reading enough threads to know the others here, but it's good to meet you!

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Meh...if people like me then that's cool. If they hate me, that's fine. I've never really been the type to care too much. Sure, I went through a weird hypersensitive period when I initiated my transition. But, these days?

Meh...things are what they are and people are going to think and feel about me what they want. If someone likes me and thinks I'm interesting (even though I am really boring), hey cool. If someone thinks that I am a complete friggin' idiot, then..meh, whatever.

[Shantel]

For me, even hearing that people don't notice, or are just indifferent, actually dispels a lot of those negative thoughts... My mind tells me that people surely must think poorly of me, and realizing that there is zero confirmation of this (so far, anyway *fingers crossed*) actually helps.

You'll find that once you get to Seattle that most people here don't have the inclination to spend any time wondering about your gender, or what may or may to be between your legs. They are too busy living their own lives and don't usually have time for such pettiness. Course this is an uber-liberal blue state too.

Anyway! Shantel, from the bits I've noticed of you, I don't think you're a jerk at all. Maybe a little brusque sometimes, but IMHO that's a good thing. You've definitely got a lot of wisdom, but that brusqueness cuts right through a lot of BS, straight to the heart of things. It's awesome to see.

Thanks that's very nice of you. Having a type-A chloric personality (my way to the highway, no BS and no drama) it was much worse pre transition because it was like (add testosterone = instant a--hole!) I am a much more laid back easy going person than before and I'm never going back.

[Umiko]

actually, strangely, i've always wondered what people think of me. like if i were to die, what would they say about me or write on my grave stone but even so while i'm still here as well

[Jaime R D]

I don't worry about it too much, not too many would think of me in the first place anyway and I don't post that much anymore as I don't wish to waste space on here with useless drivel that no one is going to read anyway.

[Shantel]

I don't worry about it too much, not too many would think of me in the first place anyway and I don't post that much anymore as I don't wish to waste space on here with useless drivel that no one is going to read anyway.

I read your "useless drivel" and like you just fine, so there!

[Melizza]

"Useless drivel" is good too!! Some times the comments that do not make sense for some people it may have a lot of meaning for somebody else.