MtF - Comprehension Help - Life changing decision

[KaitlinG]

I'd appreciate if you read all of this... My entire life would change if I went through with this, and it means a lot to me if I get opinions from those who read my story rather than those who skimmed it.

=====

Hello, I'm a transgender bisexual 'male' (born male, identify as female).

I have not come out to my parents, as they are strong Christians who think homosexuality is a huge sin unfortunately. I feel if I tell them anything, they'll stop funding my college and/or disown me or something completely unnecessary.

I still live with my parents. I want to move out, but I have no clue what I'd do with my life; I don't know how to pay bills, find a job, get an apartment or anything of the sort. Plus, I don't know what I want to do in college either...

Long story short, I'm a mess who doesn't know their direction in life.

Not going to lie; I never cross dressed or felt any different than other kids when I was little. However, I would play with stuffed animals (instead of sports like all the other boys), create female profiles/act like a girl online, and I would always dream about waking up a girl.

I honestly never thought anything of it. It wasn't until recently that I started researching and really got thinking that I would go through with a transition (MtF). Even after researching, I still feel very in-the-dark throughout this whole thing. I've told some of my online friends, but none of my real friends know; which makes me feel uncomfortable (and I'm way too shy to come out to them).

I feel I would be happier as a female, and this is a short life, so why wouldn't I do something to make me happier?

I care about passing. I want to pass as a female so I can feel better about my body. I've seen a lot of varied transition timelines of people using HRT...I know this may sound offensive to some, and I sincerely apologize, but some of the timelines show 101% passing, while others sometimes look like they're just cross-dressing and were never on HRT. I don't understand this; are there different types or HRT or different dose amounts that make more of an effect on your body?

I feel cautious about going into this, but deep down, I know it's something I really need to do. I have A LOT of questions though; excuse me if some questions seem offensive or if you just think I'm completely idiotic. I'm honestly trying to wrap my mind around how this works and I don't mean to offend ANY of you; I support LGBT 100%.

I feel very alone at this point, as if I can't talk to anyone. I don't feel comfortable coming out to my friends, my parents would shun and even possibly disown me, and on forums LGBT may fine one or two questions offensive; I don't mean them to be, I want to learn.

Let me go ahead and roll with the questions I have:

I will put a ( * ) next to questions I feel are extra important. Please explain these thoroughly if you can; these questions I am most concerned about.

PLEASE answer the question as if you are talking to someone who knows little to nothing about HRT. I am very confused and can't fully comprehend some of the vocabulary you might use if you get too complicated. I want to understand fully!

1. Facial Features: Are facial features heavily/lightly/not affected by HRT? For example, will my general face look similar or change completely/slightly?

2. Hands/Feet: Are my hands and feet affected or will they stay masculine?

*3. Adam's Apple: Girls have Adam's apples right? I think they just aren't as visible as males. My face/neck will be open to the public eye at most times, so I want to know if my Adam's apple is going to be a key factor in people knowing I was born male. Again, I care about passing; I want to feel comfortable. If more skin doesn't develop around it, are there ways I can hide it with makeup or anything?

*4. Voice: I feel as if my voice won't go over very well. When I was little, I used to scream like a little girl ^.^; now, whenever I try and bring my voice high, it just cuts off. My voice will immediately stop mid-breath and nothing comes out. Will this be a probably while practicing? My voice is pretty deep at the moment. Also, what consists of voice surgery...? Does it work well from those of you who have gotten it and where's good places to get it done?

*5. Body Hair: I've researched laser hair removal and I've found a bit too many side-effects than I feel comfortable with. Painful rashes, permanent scars, weird formations on the skin, bumps, and even cancer. Are there any alternatives to laser hair removal? Is there anything that's permanent?I don't want my facial hair staying, and males tend to get hair on or even inside their rear, which I REALLY don't want to stay. Also, should I get all of my body hair removed before/during/after I start HRT?

*6. Hair on head: I have naturally poofy hair. It doesn't grow long (going down vertical), it just gets poofy (this isn't me, but using as an example: http://bit.ly/1zqmWHC). My hair is a little more poofy and wild than the one in the picture provided though. Will I be able to grow my hair out like typical long girl hair? If so, how long will it take? My goal is to eventually have scene-indie hair (http://bit.ly/1qf6bOy and http://bit.ly/VKepT1). Some of my girl friends have that hair style, and I think it's really cute and would suit me well.

7. Feminine.. rear?: Kind of a weird subject, but well my 'rear' look more feminine? Don't really know how to define what this looks like, but I think most of you can distinguish in your own terms what this means.

8. School/Housing/Job: I've heard stories (even recent ones) of schools rejecting students because they're trans. and it would very much impede my future if I can't stay in school. I've also heard of land owners not letting you live in an apartment complex or a manager not accepting you because you're trans. Does this happen very often?

9. Identification: Would I need to get a new license? If I did, would the gender be "Female" or "Male" on it? If I changed my name (I really want to change it to Kaitlin once I start my transition), would I need to get my bank re-situated with my new name? How long does it take to change your name and whats the process like?

*10. Therapist: This is something I'm very confused about. What exactly does the therapist consist of? Is it optional or mandatory when going through with your transition (in Arizona if states matter). I'd talk to a therapist about my feelings if I honestly had to, but I don't feel 100% comfortable talking about it with a therapist. Not only that, but I feel I wouldn't be able to properly express my feelings about the subject (i.e. why I want to transition, my childhood, etc.). I'm typically shy and it took a boat load of courage to type this already... Does your therapist give you the medicine or does the doctor? If the therapist is optional, how do you get HRT? Do you need to apply for it or can you just get it? What does the therapist do for you?

11. Thickness: Males typically have a more "thick" skin appearance and a more noticeable collar bone. I'm by no means overweight; I'm about 5'6" and weigh around 110 lbs. However, my legs are pretty beefy/thick and collarbone is fairly noticeable. Will my legs get less thick?

12. Working out/muscle: I'm not the most fit person, but I'm not severely unfit. I'm not very muscular, but I do have muscles and a little bit of visible abs. Will I lose my muscles at all (I don't want to be muscular as a female in-body)? Should I work out before/during HRT to stay fit, or should I avoid getting muscular? What are some ways I can stay fit but no get muscles if I need to stay active during my transition?

*13. Food Hormones/Dieting: My mom always talks about hormones in food... I don't know what that means. I thought hormones were things in your body that determine your sex? Do I need to completely change my food patterns when I'm on HRT? I don't eat the healthiest right now, but I tend to not gain any weight no-matter what I eat. Would food hormones greatly affect the end-result of my HRT? Again, I don't really know what "food hormones" are; would they affect me at all? If so, what should I eat while transitioning?

14. Clothing/Makeup: Like I stated earlier; I've never cross dressed. I've dressed as a male my entire life. I can't go out and buy female clothes, and my mom's smaller than I am (so I can't try her clothes). I feel like I would be entirely blind when going into clothing/makeup.. What do you recommend I do?

*15. Dose strength or types

16. Cost: I'm going to be in college; which means I'm very poor. I want to transition before i get to old I don't know how much money I can accumulate by the time. My plans are to get HRT, voice surgery, and feminine facial reconstruction if I feel I don't pass very well. How much would all this cost?

*17. Length of HRT: How long do you need to take HRT? Is it restricted to a certain time period, can you stop at any time, or is it for life? I've seen some timelines where people stop at 1 year, 3 years, or just continue for their life. How does this work? Is it determined by the doctor/therapist?

*18. Estrogen/testosterone balance: I've watched some trans youtubers where they talk about balancing these two things. Is this something I would need to worry about? What does it mean and how would I go about doing these things? How does it affect my body?

Sorry for all the questions, I want to feel less in the dark about this subject.

I know this may sound 'ignorant' of me, but I really want to pass. I want to go through with this and be comfortable with the results and be happy with the results. If all goes well, I'll start HRT sometime asap

I'm sure a lot of you are thinking "why didn't she just research all of these things". Thing is, I have tried. I either don't find anything, or it doesn't make sense to me. I feel it means a lot more and I can get more out of it when it comes from a person reading my story.

I haven't proofread all of the questions, so forgive me if it's confusing or it has some errors. I wrote this quite a while ago and never had the strength to post it.

Thank you very much for reading my post and hopefully answering most, if not all, of my questions; it truly means a lot to me.

post edited by moderator

[kelly_aus]

Actually, your questions are all well answered by the Wiki here and the forum.

But here's a tip that answers many of the hormone related questions.. Genetics are the unknown factor with hormones. Your results will be what they give you - just you don't know until you try.

[mrs izzy]

Welcome to Susan's family KaitlinG

Pull up a chair and give a look over the following links for the site info...

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Safe passage on your path, popcorn?

Izzy

[Jessica Merriman]

Oh baby, first slow down a whole lot. The first step you should take is to see a therapist with gender experience preferred. Talk openly with them and make darn sure this (transition) is what you really want to do. You will learn the other stuff in time. I started transition at 47 years old and whether genetics or what I think I am turning out pretty well. I have lived full time since January 1st of this year and have not had any negative experiences in public. CONFIDENCE in yourself is 80% of passing, the rest are extra's.

I would propose these steps.
1. Therapist to make sure this is what you really want and can handle mentally. Most will help you come out to parents and friends.
2. Go to college. Most have health plans that cover trans care so you can get and education, career and graduate ready to enter the work force as a woman.

I understand all the other questions you have concerning physical appearance, but if you have a good mental and healthy outlook the rest will follow. Start at the beginning and don't worry right now about step #68 or 69.

[ImagineKate]

Jessica's advice is sound. Listen to the voice of experience!!!

[Rachel]

I second Jessica's advise.

[KaitlinG]

Oh baby, first slow down a whole lot. The first step you should take is to see a therapist with gender experience preferred. Talk openly with them and make darn sure this (transition) is what you really want to do. You will learn the other stuff in time. I started transition at 47 years old and whether genetics or what I think I am turning out pretty well. I have lived full time since January 1st of this year and have not had any negative experiences in public. CONFIDENCE in yourself is 80% of passing, the rest are extra's.

I would propose these steps.
1. Therapist to make sure this is what you really want and can handle mentally. Most will help you come out to parents and friends.
2. Go to college. Most have health plans that cover trans care so you can get and education, career and graduate ready to enter the work force as a woman.

I understand all the other questions you have concerning physical appearance, but if you have a good mental and healthy outlook the rest will follow. Start at the beginning and don't worry right now about step #68 or 69.

I would have a hard time getting to a therapist i do not drive..

I would appreciate it if someone just answered my questions instead, I can't seem to find anyone to physically help me with that..

mod/edit

[Jessica Merriman]

OK, sorry.

[goldphantom]

Kaitlin, I know how you feel. That desire and hunger for information is common in gifted and talented people. I am not sure if you are or you aren't but look into it. It may help, but I know your here for other things so I will offer you the information that I have gathered myself.

Note: I am a transwoman who is pre-everything so my information is very limited but I will do my best.

1. Facial Features: Are facial features heavily/lightly/not affected by HRT? For example, will my general face look similar or change completely/slightly?

Hormones help redistribute body fat to a more female form. This includes a thin layer of fat under the skin. This has the affect of rounding out the face and giving a more feminine appearance. However, this only helps if you don't have a very masculine face.

2. Hands/Feet: Are my hands and feet affected or will they stay masculine?

I have read about muscle atrophy in many transwomen which helps to reduce the size of hands and feet. However, the effect may be minimal if not completely absent.

*3. Adam's Apple: Girls have Adam's apples right? I think they just aren't as visible as males. My face/neck will be open to the public eye at most times, so I want to know if my Adam's apple is going to be a key factor in people knowing I was born male. Again, I care about passing; I want to feel comfortable. If more skin doesn't develop around it, are there ways I can hide it with makeup or anything?

The most common method of dealing with an Adam's apple is to have a tracheal shave. Sorry I can't offer more information on this.

*4. Voice: I feel as if my voice won't go over very well. When I was little, I used to scream like a little girl ^.^; now, whenever I try and bring my voice high, it just cuts off. My voice will immediately stop mid-breath and nothing comes out. Will this be a probably while practicing? My voice is pretty deep at the moment. Also, what consists of voice surgery...? Does it work well from those of you who have gotten it and where's good places to get it done?

Surgery to change your voice is risky and many would advise against it. You can train your voice to get a higher pitch. Check out youtube videos by CandiFLA. But a high pitch is not the only thing needed to pass. women tend to changed their as they talk and men tend to talk in a more monotone way. Listen to other women talk and try to pick up the subtle things.

*5. Body Hair: I've researched laser hair removal and I've found a bit too many side-effects than I feel comfortable with. Painful rashes, permanent scars, weird formations on the skin, bumps, and even cancer. Are there any alternatives to laser hair removal? Is there anything that's permanent?I don't want my facial hair staying, and males tend to get hair on or even inside their rear, which I REALLY don't want to stay. Also, should I get all of my body hair removed before/during/after I start HRT?

There are two options for hair removal. Laser hair removal and electrolysis. Electrolysis is the recommended but they both have their own pro's and con's. Both take months (8-12) to eliminate all hair and it is recommended to start as soon as possible.

*6. Hair on head: I have naturally poofy hair. It doesn't grow long (going down vertical), it just gets poofy (this isn't me, but using as an example: http://bit.ly/1zqmWHC). My hair is a little more poofy and wild than the one in the picture provided though. Will I be able to grow my hair out like typical long girl hair? If so, how long will it take? My goal is to eventually have scene-indie hair (http://bit.ly/1qf6bOy and http://bit.ly/VKepT1). Some of my girl friends have that hair style, and I think it's really cute and would suit me well.

That hair style really is cute! And you can certainly grow it out. A word of caution though, I am currently growing out my hair and my family constantly ask me how long will I be growing out my hair. Be ready to give an answer that won't out you.

Feminine.. rear?: Kind of a weird subject, but well my 'rear' look more feminine? Don't really know how to define what this looks like, but I think most of you can distinguish in your own terms what this means.

We can only hope so. The fact is it is all up to your genes. Yes, your fat will redistribute but how much is uncertain.

8. School/Housing/Job: I've heard stories (even recent ones) of schools rejecting students because they're trans. and it would very much impede my future if I can't stay in school. I've also heard of land owners not letting you live in an apartment complex or a manager not accepting you because you're trans. Does this happen very often?

I personally haven't heard of any stories but I don't doubt that it happens often.

9. Identification: Would I need to get a new license? If I did, would the gender be "Female" or "Male" on it? If I changed my name (I really want to change it to Kaitlin once I start my transition), would I need to get my bank re-situated with my new name? How long does it take to change your name and whats the process like?

I don't want to offer too much information here as I don't want to lead you astray. This is crossing legal boundaries that are dependent on where you live. But from my research banks only need a name change certificate while state identifications need a legal gender change(sorry not the right term) which means having SRS(Sexual Reassignment Surgery *may be an outdated term) before it can be changed.

*10. Therapist: This is something I'm very confused about. What exactly does the therapist consist of? Is it optional or mandatory when going through with your transition (in Arizona if states matter). I'd talk to a therapist about my feelings if I honestly had to, but I don't feel 100% comfortable talking about it with a therapist. Not only that, but I feel I wouldn't be able to properly express my feelings about the subject (i.e. why I want to transition, my childhood, etc.). I'm typically shy and it took a boat load of courage to type this already... Does your therapist give you the medicine or does the doctor? If the therapist is optional, how do you get HRT? Do you need to apply for it or can you just get it? What does the therapist do for you?

I just started seeing my therapist so I can't say much. Make sure they are experienced with transgender people and never feel obligated to stay with one if you are not comfortable. Side note: If your gifted seek out someone with that experience also.

11. Thickness: Males typically have a more "thick" skin appearance and a more noticeable collar bone. I'm by no means overweight; I'm about 5'6" and weigh around 110 lbs. However, my legs are pretty beefy/thick and collarbone is fairly noticeable. Will my legs get less thick?

I have heard that skin does get thinner and your legs may also get thinner but that depends on how much muscle atrophy you experience.

12. Working out/muscle: I'm not the most fit person, but I'm not severely unfit. I'm not very muscular, but I do have muscles and a little bit of visible abs. Will I lose my muscles at all (I don't want to be muscular as a female in-body)? Should I work out before/during HRT to stay fit, or should I avoid getting muscular? What are some ways I can stay fit but no get muscles if I need to stay active during my transition?

During HRT you will be going through a second puberty and I recommend you eat healthy and stay active. Cardio is a great way to stay active. You can still use weights but reduce the weight greatly and increase the reps.

*13. Food Hormones/Dieting: My mom always talks about hormones in food... I don't know what that means. I thought hormones were things in your body that determine your sex? Do I need to completely change my food patterns when I'm on HRT? I don't eat the healthiest right now, but I tend to not gain any weight no-matter what I eat. Would food hormones greatly affect the end-result of my HRT? Again, I don't really know what "food hormones" are; would they affect me at all? If so, what should I eat while transitioning?

I have read that some foods can add hormones to your body. For example, soy milk can add estrogen into your body. I don't know much about this topic but I recommend you eat a varied diet and ask your doctor for specific information.

14. Clothing/Makeup: Like I stated earlier; I've never cross dressed. I've dressed as a male my entire life. I can't go out and buy female clothes, and my mom's smaller than I am (so I can't try her clothes). I feel like I would be entirely blind when going into clothing/makeup.. What do you recommend I do?

This is tough, you can try buying online but make sure your home to receive the package. Or if their is a store near you go there and pretend you are buying it for your sister or girlfriend.

*15. Dose strength or types:

Only a doctor can answer this. DO NOT SELF MEDICATE this is very dangerous.

16. Cost: I'm going to be in college; which means I'm very poor. I want to transition before i get to old I don't know how much money I can accumulate by the time. My plans are to get HRT, voice surgery, and feminine facial reconstruction if I feel I don't pass very well. How much would all this cost?

This depends on exactly what you get, but it can get rather expensive. Sorry I can't give numbers and I can't even offer advice on this. Were on the same boat.

*17. Length of HRT: How long do you need to take HRT? Is it restricted to a certain time period, can you stop at any time, or is it for life? I've seen some timelines where people stop at 1 year, 3 years, or just continue for their life. How does this work? Is it determined by the doctor/therapist?

This depends on what your doctor says but I have heard it is for life.

*18. Estrogen/testosterone balance: I've watched some trans youtubers where they talk about balancing these two things. Is this something I would need to worry about? What does it mean and how would I go about doing these things? How does it affect my body?

Sorry I can't offer advice here.

I hope this helps somewhat. Remember that I don't have all the answers and most of what I wrote I researched not experienced.
I wish you luck on your transition 

[kelly_aus]

I care about passing. I want to pass as a female so I can feel better about my body. I've seen a lot of varied transition timelines of people using HRT...I know this may sound offensive to some, and I sincerely apologize, but some of the timelines show 101% passing, while others sometimes look like they're just cross-dressing and were never on HRT. I don't understand this; are there different types or HRT or different dose amounts that make more of an effect on your body?

We all have different goals and passing can be very subjective. Attitude and confidence go a long way.

Now I'm not on my phone, let me give you a few longer asnwers..

1. Facial Features: Are facial features heavily/lightly/not affected by HRT? For example, will my general face look similar or change completely/slightly?

Most people notice some changes to their face, some more than others. Genetics play a big factor here.

2. Hands/Feet: Are my hands and feet affected or will they stay masculine?

The blood vessels on my hands are somewhat less prominent, but they were never huge to start with.. As for feet, can't say they've really changed.. Some people's feet do seem to shrink a little.

*3. Adam's Apple: Girls have Adam's apples right? I think they just aren't as visible as males. My face/neck will be open to the public eye at most times, so I want to know if my Adam's apple is going to be a key factor in people knowing I was born male. Again, I care about passing; I want to feel comfortable. If more skin doesn't develop around it, are there ways I can hide it with makeup or anything?

Yes, females have a trachea. However, it is usually much smaller than a males..

*4. Voice: I feel as if my voice won't go over very well. When I was little, I used to scream like a little girl ^.^; now, whenever I try and bring my voice high, it just cuts off. My voice will immediately stop mid-breath and nothing comes out. Will this be a probably while practicing? My voice is pretty deep at the moment. Also, what consists of voice surgery...? Does it work well from those of you who have gotten it and where's good places to get it done?

Voice is a subject I can't help with, I use the same voice I've always had.

*5. Body Hair: I've researched laser hair removal and I've found a bit too many side-effects than I feel comfortable with. Painful rashes, permanent scars, weird formations on the skin, bumps, and even cancer. Are there any alternatives to laser hair removal? Is there anything that's permanent?I don't want my facial hair staying, and males tend to get hair on or even inside their rear, which I REALLY don't want to stay. Also, should I get all of my body hair removed before/during/after I start HRT?

The side-effects of laser are very uncommon. Electrolysis will remove hair permanently, but it's not without it's possible side-effects either. For me, about 6 months on HRT and a few wax jobs left me with nothing more than normal female pattern body hair - but as with all things hormone-related, your mileage may vary.

*6. Hair on head: I have naturally poofy hair. It doesn't grow long (going down vertical), it just gets poofy (this isn't me, but using as an example: http://bit.ly/1zqmWHC). My hair is a little more poofy and wild than the one in the picture provided though. Will I be able to grow my hair out like typical long girl hair? If so, how long will it take? My goal is to eventually have scene-indie hair (http://bit.ly/1qf6bOy and http://bit.ly/VKepT1). Some of my girl friends have that hair style, and I think it's really cute and would suit me well.

Hair is a subject I leave for my stylist..

7. Feminine.. rear?: Kind of a weird subject, but well my 'rear' look more feminine? Don't really know how to define what this looks like, but I think most of you can distinguish in your own terms what this means.

This one comes down to 2 things really.. Firstly, how well hormones cause you to deposit fat in the right places.. Secondly, them pesky genetics again..

8. School/Housing/Job: I've heard stories (even recent ones) of schools rejecting students because they're trans. and it would very much impede my future if I can't stay in school. I've also heard of land owners not letting you live in an apartment complex or a manager not accepting you because you're trans. Does this happen very often?

I'm in Australia, where laws and attitudes are a bit different. But I can't say I've had too much trouble.

9. Identification: Would I need to get a new license? If I did, would the gender be "Female" or "Male" on it? If I changed my name (I really want to change it to Kaitlin once I start my transition), would I need to get my bank re-situated with my new name? How long does it take to change your name and whats the process like?

Being an Aussie, not something I can help with, sorry.

*10. Therapist: This is something I'm very confused about. What exactly does the therapist consist of? Is it optional or mandatory when going through with your transition (in Arizona if states matter). I'd talk to a therapist about my feelings if I honestly had to, but I don't feel 100% comfortable talking about it with a therapist. Not only that, but I feel I wouldn't be able to properly express my feelings about the subject (i.e. why I want to transition, my childhood, etc.). I'm typically shy and it took a boat load of courage to type this already... Does your therapist give you the medicine or does the doctor? If the therapist is optional, how do you get HRT? Do you need to apply for it or can you just get it? What does the therapist do for you?

I found a therapist handy. Unloaded a lifetime's worth of baggage on him and moved on. Also was handy to find out I wasn't crazy, just trans. He was also handy for those interesting little curve balls life in transition can cause you. I'd imagine he'd also have had some ideas about coming out, if I hadn't already done it before I'd seen him.

11. Thickness: Males typically have a more "thick" skin appearance and a more noticeable collar bone. I'm by no means overweight; I'm about 5'6" and weigh around 110 lbs. However, my legs are pretty beefy/thick and collarbone is fairly noticeable. Will my legs get less thick?

Your skin should thin out a little, mine sure has. My collar bones remain the same. Hormones can cause some muscle loss, so you may find your legs thin out some.

12. Working out/muscle: I'm not the most fit person, but I'm not severely unfit. I'm not very muscular, but I do have muscles and a little bit of visible abs. Will I lose my muscles at all (I don't want to be muscular as a female in-body)? Should I work out before/during HRT to stay fit, or should I avoid getting muscular? What are some ways I can stay fit but no get muscles if I need to stay active during my transition?

I maintain my fitness with walking and a little cardio - just as I've always done.

*13. Food Hormones/Dieting: My mom always talks about hormones in food... I don't know what that means. I thought hormones were things in your body that determine your sex? Do I need to completely change my food patterns when I'm on HRT? I don't eat the healthiest right now, but I tend to not gain any weight no-matter what I eat. Would food hormones greatly affect the end-result of my HRT? Again, I don't really know what "food hormones" are; would they affect me at all? If so, what should I eat while transitioning?

Hmm, hormones in food.. Short version - some meats have hormones, either naturally or added to enhance growth. Some plants have chemicals in them that are similar to estrogen. As to whether this will effect your HRT depends on what you are eating and how much of it you are eating. As usual, a healthy, balanced diet is best.

14. Clothing/Makeup: Like I stated earlier; I've never cross dressed. I've dressed as a male my entire life. I can't go out and buy female clothes, and my mom's smaller than I am (so I can't try her clothes). I feel like I would be entirely blind when going into clothing/makeup.. What do you recommend I do?

I learnt a little from my mum and grandma.. I learnt a little from friends.. I learnt a few things on my own. I've always done my own shopping, even before I came out. I bought my first dress when I was 12.

*15. Dose strength or types:
16. Cost: I'm going to be in college; which means I'm very poor. I want to transition before i get to old I don't know how much money I can accumulate by the time. My plans are to get HRT, voice surgery, and feminine facial reconstruction if I feel I don't pass very well. How much would all this cost?

Speak to your doctor.

*17. Length of HRT: How long do you need to take HRT? Is it restricted to a certain time period, can you stop at any time, or is it for life? I've seen some timelines where people stop at 1 year, 3 years, or just continue for their life. How does this work? Is it determined by the doctor/therapist?

Generally, it's for life. Especially if you have either an orchie or SRS - otherwise osteoporosis becomes a risk. Frankly, I couldn't imagine stopping.

*18. Estrogen/testosterone balance: I've watched some trans youtubers where they talk about balancing these two things. Is this something I would need to worry about? What does it mean and how would I go about doing these things? How does it affect my body?

This is not something for you to worry about.. It's what you pay your endo for.

Sorry for all the questions, I want to feel less in the dark about this subject.

I know this may sound 'ignorant' of me, but I really want to pass. I want to go through with this and be comfortable with the results and be happy with the results. If all goes well, I'll start HRT sometime asap

Like I said earlier, passing is subjective. And also reliant on a lot more than just looks.

[ImagineKate]

Not going to lie; I never cross dressed or felt any different than other kids when I was little. However, I would play with stuffed animals (instead of sports like all the other boys), create female profiles/act like a girl online, and I would always dream about waking up a girl.

I feel I would be happier as a female, and this is a short life, so why wouldn't I do something to make me happier?

I would definitely recommend therapy in this case.

You need to find yourself, and figure out if this is really what you want. It can't really be done on a whim. Transitioning has permanent effects and if you wish to ever reproduce you need to consider this as well.

I feel very alone at this point, as if I can't talk to anyone. I don't feel comfortable coming out to my friends, my parents would shun and even possibly disown me, and on forums LGBT may fine one or two questions offensive; I don't mean them to be, I want to learn.

I care about passing. I want to pass as a female so I can feel better about my body. I've seen a lot of varied transition timelines of people using HRT...I know this may sound offensive to some, and I sincerely apologize, but some of the timelines show 101% passing, while others sometimes look like they're just cross-dressing and were never on HRT. I don't understand this; are there different types or HRT or different dose amounts that make more of an effect on your body?

From everything I've been told, more hormones won't make you more of a woman. Your doctor has to adjust your regimen so that you get the appropriate amount of feminization with the least amount of hormones.

8. School/Housing/Job: I've heard stories (even recent ones) of schools rejecting students because they're trans. and it would very much impede my future if I can't stay in school. I've also heard of land owners not letting you live in an apartment complex or a manager not accepting you because you're trans. Does this happen very often?

Housing discrimination against transgender individuals is illegal since it is classified as sex discrimination under the fair housing act (federal law). It does happen, but you have recourse. However, be prepared to fight.

9. Identification: Would I need to get a new license? If I did, would the gender be "Female" or "Male" on it? If I changed my name (I really want to change it to Kaitlin once I start my transition), would I need to get my bank re-situated with my new name? How long does it take to change your name and whats the process like?

In Arizona you need a letter from your doctor for DMV to change the gender. You don't need surgery. Some states require surgery but that is slowly changing. The real change is your birth certificate which would require SRS in most cases and probably a court order in some states. The birth certificate is important because you need to also change your gender with social security. It can cause problems if your ID and social security record do not match.

[LordKAT]

Some states do not allow a birth cert change and surgery is not required to change Social security,
some states it only takes a letter from a therapist to change your DL.

[Zumbagirl]

You and I have something in common. I too grew up with very religious parents who were not very tolerant. However, I was always cross dressing when I was a kid, a teen and even in college. People just assumed I was a gay kid. I almost found myself homeless when my parents gave me the ultimate threat, so I tucked my tail between my legs, finished my degree and landed a job. Then I was able to move out and from under their control. For a while I tried to "man up" and that made them happy but didn't work for me.


As for all the rest of your things, face, voice, whatever. Does it really matter? I mean in the end I was able to put a new life together for myself as a female. I keep myself in shape and happy, but I know that sport illustrated isn't going to be calling any time soon for a bikini model. Women come in all shapes and sizes, so enjoy the size you become. If you don't like something, there is almost certainly a cosmetic surgery procedure to change it. With enough money you can turn yourself into a super model. But be prepared to get clocked and outed more often. Hotel that helps.

[KaitlinG]

You and I have something in common. I too grew up with very religious parents who were not very tolerant. However, I was always cross dressing when I was a kid, a teen and even in college. People just assumed I was a gay kid. I almost found myself homeless when my parents gave me the ultimate threat, so I tucked my tail between my legs, finished my degree and landed a job. Then I was able to move out and from under their control. For a while I tried to "man up" and that made them happy but didn't work for me.


As for all the rest of your things, face, voice, whatever. Does it really matter? I mean in the end I was able to put a new life together for myself as a female. I keep myself in shape and happy, but I know that sport illustrated isn't going to be calling any time soon for a bikini model. Women come in all shapes and sizes, so enjoy the size you become. If you don't like something, there is almost certainly a cosmetic surgery procedure to change it. With enough money you can turn yourself into a super model. But be prepared to get clocked and outed more often. Hotel that helps.

I appreciate the comment. I'm not trying to be a gorgeous model or anything of the sort, I just want to pass. I think it's really lame that parents threaten to cut off funds just because of sexuality; really lame of them. Glad you got through it!