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So I came out to my parents today

Started by Eevee, September 01, 2014, 08:29:18 PM

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Eevee

Since I'm out as transsexual to everyone else important in my life now, I decided to talk to my parents about it. I waited a while because they are very old-fashioned and set in their ways. They're in another state, so I had to call them. My brother (who already knows and is really supportive) was there with them to help my confidence. I was still really nervous, but I was surprised when my mom was very accepting (though not understanding). My dad on the other hand... just walked away and got pissed off. I'm not sure where it will go from here, but at least my mom is willing to talk to me. As for my dad, I guess he gets to decide when he wants to be a part of my life again.

And people wonder why I waited until now to come out.

Eevee
#133

Because its genetic makeup is irregular, it quickly changes its form due to a variety of causes.



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Ms Grace

Congrats on telling your folks. It's a big, often terrifying step. Hopefully your father will come around. You may have to give him some time.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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iiMTF

Quote from: Eevee on September 01, 2014, 08:29:18 PM
Since I'm out as transsexual to everyone else important in my life now, I decided to talk to my parents about it. I waited a while because they are very old-fashioned and set in their ways. They're in another state, so I had to call them. My brother (who already knows and is really supportive) was there with them to help my confidence. I was still really nervous, but I was surprised when my mom was very accepting (though not understanding). My dad on the other hand... just walked away and got pissed off. I'm not sure where it will go from here, but at least my mom is willing to talk to me. As for my dad, I guess he gets to decide when he wants to be a part of my life again.

And people wonder why I waited until now to come out.

Congrats! Like Grace said, hopefully your dad will come around.

Anyone else notice fathers tendency to not be supportive of MTFs? I'm only out to my mom (tho shes not understanding at all) but I'm waiting awhile on my dad... You're brave to be coming out to them! I wish you the best of luck with them, see ya around!

iiMTF
Not allowed on for awhile. Be back soon!
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Kassie

Yes my father and stepfather will definitely flip a gasket my mother and I have spoken she is trying to tell me it's just a phase
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iiMTF

It's amazing, my moms powers to completely ignore the fact I've felt this way my entire life and force herself to believe I'm going through a "phase"
Not allowed on for awhile. Be back soon!
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katiej

For dads I think it's the typical guy response. "Wait...you mean you're actually going to cut if off?"  Most guys can't fathom it.

I've also heard some great stories about dads coming around and being very supportive of their new daughters.
"Before I do anything I ask myself would an idiot do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing." --Dwight Schrute
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iiMTF

Quote from: katiej on September 02, 2014, 01:18:32 AM
For dads I think it's the typical guy response. "Wait...you mean you're actually going to cut if off?"  Most guys can't fathom it.

I've also heard some great stories about dads coming around and being very supportive of their new daughters.

You have no idea how many times my dad has tried to get my mom to adopt a girl... This is what makes me hope he'll be accepting, wanting a girl and all.

iiMTF
Not allowed on for awhile. Be back soon!
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Eevee

Yeah, I'm definitely going to give my dad time on this. I don't know if it will take him a week or a decade, but I'm hoping that he still wants me in his life. I may have been a little surprised at my mom's reaction, but I wasn't at all about his, so it may be tough to get us back to where we were.

There's an old story between him and I. When I was an infant, I started growing really pretty, curly, blond hair (my hair is almost that good again now, but brown instead). Everyone thought I was a girl, so he cut it all off then and continued to keep my hair short from then on out. He's also a super macho man who was furious when I refused to continue participating in his choice of macho sports. It's who he is and I can't change that. I just wish he understood that I am who I am and he also can't change me.

Eevee
#133

Because its genetic makeup is irregular, it quickly changes its form due to a variety of causes.



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Brenda E

Congrats, Eevee - major step overcome!  Pretty good result too.  It'll bring you much peace of mind, and I'm glad to hear your mom is standing with you.

Quote from: iiMTF on September 01, 2014, 10:51:15 PM
Anyone else notice fathers tendency to not be supportive of MTFs?

Yeah.  It's getting to the point where I'm like, "WTF dads?!?!?"  It's a decade and a half into the 21st century and they're still acting like this is an issue they're allowed to stamp their feet and have hissy fits over? ::)
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DarkFrost

Eevee, you already know this, but if you ever need to talk or just get your mind elsewhere for a moment by listening my nonsense, no matter the time, you can always contact me, no matter what *hugs*
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