Sometimes the best way to learn is to ask... but what?

[DarkFrost]

Hello all

I joined here so I could support my friend and understand better what she is going through. This world is still very unfamiliar to me and while I have no problems accepting what my friend is (he or she, my friend is my friend and I don't care what the outer shell is, my friend is the one that matters! Oops, sorry about that rant...), I am not sure where to start my "Journey to Unknown". Of course my best source of knowledge is my friend but I would love to hear other experiences, advice, etc So if you have any advice for me, any experience to share, ideas, anything, it would be great

*DarkFrost*

I hope I posted this on its'correct place...                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

[LordKAT]

Your post is in the right place.

The best way to learn what to ask is to read other threads about people and their experiences. There are many such threads here and you will learn a lot as well as have your own questions to ask.

[Tessa James]

Welcome to Susan's Dark Frost and thank you for valuing your friendship enough to be here and be supportive.  My experience is that many, if not most of us, are all too ready to talk about our lives.  Having lived in the closet we value the opportunity to feel the sunshine of freedom and self acceptance.  It is a process and journey that doesn't always lend itself to tidy formulas or predictable schedules.  I feel much closer to my friends now and a big part of that is the honesty and vulnerability required to come out and live life as the real me. 

So much is new and fresh and sharing the ride is part of what makes our unique experience that much richer.  Being a good listener without judgement is priceless.

[Foxglove]

One bit of advice: be very patient.  My experience has been that cisgender people have a very, very, very hard time getting a feel for what exactly ->-bleeped-<- is.  I don't know if you can expect the light to suddenly dawn on you.  It may take some time of patient learning and exploring before you begin to get a glimpse of what we really are.  We're kind of like quantum physics: if you think you understand us, you probably don't.  We don't this deliberately, you understand.  We're not being wilfully mysterious.  It just goes with the territory.

I might also advise you to browse this forum as you have time.  It'll show you lots of things, perhaps answer some questions before you've even formulated them, perhaps raise questions in your mind that you could then ask us.

And finally I'd like to say a huge, heartfelt "Thank you!"  There are lots and lots of people out there who don't want to know a thing about us.  So when I come across someone who is genuinely willing to try and learn a bit about us, I feel extremely grateful.

Best wishes,
Foxglove