1. How do you feel about your body as it is?
Well, I don't have the standard, narrow male shape. I do actually have some hips, along with some other things that might be indicative of XXY; so due to that I'm not terribly body dysphoric, but there are things that I would like to see change such as my skin, fat and chest development. I'd also like my hairline back. Unrelated to trans dysphoria, I was also born with club feet and had to undergo corrective surgery, so now there's scarring and deformity. It's not grotesque or anything, but it does make me self-conscious. I also really hate my nose.
2. Imagine having a different body: curves, soft features, no body or facial hair, etc. Does imagining this provide sense of relief?
Imagining that to any extreme makes me cry, because I would trade everything I have for that. I may not be hyper-feminine, but I know who I am now. It was never a man. I never tried to be one to any social expectation, but I never said otherwise, because I didn't figure it all out until nearly 2 years ago. I still struggle a bit, thinking that the whole "androgyne" thing might be more accurate, but I think the ratio is more like 80% F / 20% M. Just enough masculinity to make me "butch" (and I really hate that word, because it doesn't really fit). I really wish this was more understood. Not all who transition want to wear traditional women's clothing. Fashion isn't static.
Anyway, thank you for posting the video. I'm going to be viewing her other ones, as well.
