Getting more confident with my voice in public

[Ms Grace]

To be honest I never imagined I would feel comfortable talking much in crowded public spaces. I remember the first time I was faced with that prospect I came within an inch of just running away, so convinced my voice would give me away with the first words uttered.

Being full time means I get a lot of practice at work with talking but that is largely with colleagues who know me. And in fact I'm sure I'm probably a bit lazier with my voice in their company, but still the constant practice helps and stops me from feeling self-conscious.

Today I was being interviewed by a communications researcher in a busy cafe for about an hour and a half. I don't even know if she knew I was trans. I still feel amazed my voice doesn't give me away to waiters and other patrons, etc. To my ear it doesn't sound like a female voice and yet it's pretty clear it's not a male voice either. This evening, by sheer fluke a friend got on the train on the way home and we chatted, in a very full carriage, all the way to her station - about twenty minutes. Had that happened a few months ago I think I would have been close to whispering if at all, but this was a relax chatty conversation.

It's not that my voice has changed. I can still slip back to guy voice with no problem. It's just that I'm getting better at modulating my tone and volume even when doing a lot of talking. On top of that my confidence is growing to the point where I'm not that conscious of it. Still am to some degree but that seems to be fading.

[LizMarie]

I'm one of the rare few whose voice has been impacted by HRT. Of course that may also be partly due to vocal cord damage incurred while undergoing treatment for cancer 18 years ago too. But whatever the cause, my voice has changed and I cannot get back to where my voice was two years ago at all.

It's passable, even on the phone, but I"m still not satisfied with it, hence am likely to seek voice surgery eventually.

[Ms Grace]

Back in 1990 I worked with a guy (who I presume was cis male) who had a naturally female sounding voice. He was often misgendered on the phone too. It was a topic of conversation around the office, behind his back of course. Poor guy! Since I was trying transition the first time back then I was extremely envious if him.

[Megumi]

But whatever the cause, my voice has changed and I cannot get back to where my voice was two years ago at all.

More than likely it's the fact that you haven't regularly used your male voice to bring it back down to your once normal register. HRT can not shorten vocal chords or their thickness but by working on our voices and never dropping back down into the old one will allow the voice to re-normalize in the feminine range and make you have the exact problem FtM's have when trying to drop their voice down to a guy range.

I've noticed it myself and I've only been full time for a month and a half but if I spend most of the day talking in my guy voice it will go back to the normal deep zone but if I go a week or so straight without ever using it I simply can't drop down without really having to try.