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Help please. Planning to go out as me for the first time

Started by ssneha23, September 05, 2014, 05:44:24 AM

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ssneha23

Hi girls.. I am so nervous,  a really close friend has convinced me that's its super high time that I become me and stop hiding. For this he and his girl friend are planning a night out for me. I am so nervous...

First I don't even have the confidence I will pass. I usually present in andro kind clothing

But more importantly, I haven't started working on my voice yet and I always get clocked as a guy because of it.. So should I just keep quiet the entire time.. Or just call the whole thing off.. ?
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Cristyjade30

Quote from: ssneha23 on September 05, 2014, 05:44:24 AM
Hi girls.. I am so nervous,  a really close friend has convinced me that's its super high time that I become me and stop hiding. For this he and his girl friend are planning a night out for me. I am so nervous...

First I don't even have the confidence I will pass. I usually present in andro kind clothing

But more importantly, I haven't started working on my voice yet and I always get clocked as a guy because of it.. So should I just keep quiet the entire time.. Or just call the whole thing off.. ?
Is there anywhere we could hear your voice, It might not be bad as you think, and you look so pretty, are you on hrt? also I haven't started hrt but am in like two weeks, I practice my voice like everyday, I drive a semi truck for a living by my self, I went on you tube and there are plenty of girls on there with masculine voices that all of a sudden sound 100% female. I am so envious of them, but they have instructional videos on there, and I think its helping me, I have a drill seargent voice btw, it can be booming and I have been told very commanding sounding voice. I talk on my cb radio to other truck drivers some in my female voice and they don't know, so I guess its working. I still cant maintain that sound for long, just go on you tube and watch and practice. Don't try and make your voice soft, that's a dead give away. They say to go into falsetto and then bring the highness out of it? Its hard to explain, just practice and I know a girl who found hers out of pure luck after a couple days trying, once she figured it out it was like riding a bycicle. This is what Ive heard from others who found it, they say once you find it, it gets easier, the hard part is finding it. Good luck and if you cant nail it go to a trans/gay club. Atleast there no one is likely to call you on it and judge you, back when I was around 165 I could pass visually most of the time, but got clocked so hard in a store when someone asked if I needed help. That reaction to my voice really set me back on deciding to transition, I was 24 at the time, I really got back into weight training after that and my weight went up to 250, so now I am at 229 and trying to get back to 160ish to start hrt, If I can make 200 I will probably start and that means 29 pounds in two to three weeks, and it can be done, when I was a fighter I had to cut weight all the time like that to meet weigh in. Sorry for the off tangent, but you look great and youll find it.
I feel like a butterfly emerging from her cacoon, I'm finally starting to live.
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ssneha23

Cristy thank you for your reply. Yes I am in hrt for like 18 months now.. Its just I am so scared of going full time.. That I have delayed being myself so long... As far as looks.. I do pass like more than half time In guy clothes... It's just my voice.. That's such a give away.. And all the best on your transition

I am sure u can make it..
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Cristyjade30

Quote from: ssneha23 on September 05, 2014, 06:14:17 AM
Cristy thank you for your reply. Yes I am in hrt for like 18 months now.. Its just I am so scared of going full time.. That I have delayed being myself so long... As far as looks.. I do pass like more than half time In guy clothes... It's just my voice.. That's such a give away.. And all the best on your transition

I am sure u can make it..
Thanks sweetheart! You can always get that yesson voice surgery. Ive heard its a miracle for those of us with male voice syndrome,lol
I feel like a butterfly emerging from her cacoon, I'm finally starting to live.
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Zumbagirl

Go...most people are not spending every seconds watching everyone else, unless they are guilty ;) and most are not very observant. Go with whatever makes you feel comfy, don't worry, and just have a great time. Sounds like you have a wonderful friend, so just enjoy!!
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Jessica Merriman

Please go and have a great time. All you have to do is forget your situation and enjoy your friends and the experience. Find a way to forget you are trans and nervous and the real you will just flow out. Confidence is 80% of passing and it will get you through this night. Just get lost in the real you and you will sell yourself to everyone. I know you can do it and as usual we will all be waiting for details of the night!  :)

A *SUPER BIG WARM MEGA HUGGLES* to get you started!!!!  :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_woowoo: :icon_woowoo: :icon_woowoo: :icon_yes: :icon_yes: :icon_yes:
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Cristyjade30

Quote from: ssneha23 on September 05, 2014, 06:14:17 AM
Cristy thank you for your reply. Yes I am in hrt for like 18 months now.. Its just I am so scared of going full time.. That I have delayed being myself so long... As far as looks.. I do pass like more than half time In guy clothes... It's just my voice.. That's such a give away.. And all the best on your transition

I am sure u can make it..
I was checking for updates and I seen more I just have to say I am so jelly, you are so pretty, god your like fairytale pretty lol. I hope I end up like your after hrt. You will be a knock out when you head out, I know I would totally hit on you were I single and at that place. lol
You have a blast and please detail
I feel like a butterfly emerging from her cacoon, I'm finally starting to live.
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pianoforte

You look fantastic, and voice training will come.

If you have an opportunity to record yourself and play it back (and it isn't a source of dysphoria) it can really help you gauge what you sound like to others. Most people's own voices are actually several pitches higher than they seem to oneself, because when you are speaking you hear the reverberation through your bones and tissues which makes it seem lower to you.

But again, I must say, you look fabulous, gorgeous, beautiful. Put on some clothes that make you feel great and have a wonderful time!
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Ms Grace

It's great your friend is so supportive and you have to start somewhere if you want to progress your transition from "not ready" to "OMG what was I worried about". That said, if you do truly not feel ready then don't do it. You need to feel you will be safe and that your friend/s will have your back if it goes pear shaped.

Night clubs are a mixed bag depending on the crowd - invariably there will be someone who has a transdar no matter how passable you are, people are often drunk or hyper, it's easy to become separated from friends or not be heard. If you think getting a passable voice is hard, try doing it in an environment where you have to yell over music and other noise. Anyway, I know that comes over as negative, I'm not saying don't do it, just make sure you are safe and that your friend/s understand that you may need or want to exit quickly with them regardless of how much fun they are having. They need to have your back 100%.

Personally, I'd suggest you give it a trial run, even if it's just going down to the corner store and back just so you get a sense of how it feels for you, take the friend with you if needs be.

Have a fun, safe, time. Passing is often largely about presentation and confidence not looks alone,and  judging by your avatar if you can get those first two sorted you will romp through this! :)
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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ImagineKate

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ssneha23

@ms grace @christy @zumbagirl @jessica @pianoforte @imagineKate . thank you so so sooo much for your thoughts. Its really very encouraging . thank you.

So the dates been set.. Sept 13 it is. I am as ready as I can be. Its just I am so nervous about it. But the silver lining is that I have my therapist appointment on sept 15.. Ooo we are going to have so much to talk about..

Hugs everyone .. Thank you.. Xoxo
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