First therapy session

[Frankie]

Had to the first session yesterday, it was a basic health assessment. Some question and answer time, and a some background. Now a therapist will be assigned based on the information session yesterday. The young lady who I met with is a sweetheart! Everyone there made me feel safe & welcome. There were people like me, people who understand, are non judgmental, have been through it and survived! Maybe I can survive this too...I heard a story when I was a child in school that has stayed with all my life. Children in school were taking turns walking up to their teacher and handing her presents for her birthday... at the end of the line was a little boy who was a very quite and shy student, he handed the teacher a small bottle filled with sand, the other childern laughed at his present, he blushed from embarrassment. The teacher looked at the bottle and asked "What is it?" The little boy replied " I know show much you love the beach, so I walked to the beach to bring you back some of it" The teachers eyes started to fill with tears, she said; "Do you know how far the beach is from here? it must have taken all day to walk there and back, this is the best present anyone has ever given me!" she hugged him. One little girl asked, whats so special about a bottle of sand? The teacher smiled and replied, it's not the sand thats special, it was the journey. I am off to find my bottle of sand...

[coffeezombie]

Good luck and safe travels on your "journey" I'm just starting mine as well. Being seeming a Dr that specializes in GD and next month I will be getting my letter to go ahead with HRT! I'm so excited, so come on along take our hands an together we can make it.

[Melizza]

Good luck, what an exciting road in front of you!

[Frankie]

Coffeezombie, best wishes on your journey... Please keep us informed. XOXO

[adrian]

This sounds great, Frankie! All the best to you! 
I wish I was that far in my journey yet. So far, all I have is an empty bottle 

[Frankie]

Adrian, I knew around 7 or 8 years old that I was different, that something wasn't right, that was back around 1963 or 64? It has taken me 50 years to make an admission to my self and to finally reach out for help. I can't tell you how many times I turned back from fear over the years. I just hope it's not too late to find peace with the person in the mirror.

[Frankie]

I went to the first session, it was a basic assessment, after the assessment a therapist will be assigned. Yesterday I received the official diagnosis. #1-G.I.D. #2-Major depressive disorder (adulthood), #3-Adjustment disorder with anxiety.

[adrian]

Adrian, I knew around 7 or 8 years old that I was different, that something wasn't right, that was back around 1963 or 64? It has taken me 50 years to make an admission to my self and to finally reach out for help. I can't tell you how many times I turned back from fear over the years. I just hope it's not too late to find peace with the person in the mirror.

I like to believe it's never too late!

For the problem is that I may have to choose between two things I don't think I can live without: living as my true gender or my husband . So that beach is a long way off I'm afraid.

[Frankie]

Adrian, thats a tough choice. It certainly won't be easy deciding. When my wife told she wanted a divorce, I was heartbroken. I think that may have helped push everything else to the forefront. There are no easy answers for people like us, we have to make heart wrenching decisions, do we keep our sanity the best we can and try to live with ourselves or do we sacrifice ourself for the love of others? Only someone who walks in our shoes can understand what its like. My heart is breaking for you, I wish I could take the pain away and make everything right for you. You are not alone.

on a side note, the therapist recommend I try to find a friend like me, someone I can talk to who can understand...Hmmm...that may be the biggest challenge of all. I am not sure I still know how to make and be a friend

[adrian]

Thank you, Frankie. It helps knowing others understand what I'm going through, even though my SO doesn't.

I'm sorry your marriage went to pieces. But yeah, I believe you're right - these experiences can be catalysts in a way.

Friends are important, I'm not yet sure if mine will understand. Are there any trans* groups where you live where you could meet new people?

Feel free to pm me if you like

[Frankie]

No groups in my area that I know of. A wrinkle may have developed with the therapy, my employer just offered me a better position with a pay increase of almost $6.00 an hour, I couldn't pass it up, the twist is it is 1st shift position, I usually work 2nd shift which allows me to make my appointments first thing in the mornings, now I have to find out how late they have appointments. The only ones that I worry about accepting me are my family. I never really had many friends, I think I forgot how to be or have a friend.  Thanks for the open invitation to pm, I just may take you up on it, feel free to pm me also.

[coffeezombie]

Well I've started testosterone now have had 2 while shots, so far so good. Except for the acne, which started making a unwelcome/welcome (I hate zits, but it's prof that the T is working) an just today I noticed darker hair trying to come in on my neck and chin. Not much else to report so far lol