Bathroom stalls filled?

[makipu]

So don't worry if you have to wait for a stall, people will not look you on the eyes, they may say something like "big sh**?".

Could this really be the case if the person isn't that much "passing"?

[LordKAT]

I don't know about that, but the rest of that post is spot on in my experience.

[Taka]

from what i hear, many cis guys prefer stalls even just for peeing. being shy about your private parts isn't a crime.

also http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/aa141/gadnihasj/checkmate_nderasore.jpg

[aleon515]

Passing privilege like a lot of privilege is invisible. I have a friend who has been "passing" for years and years now. He takes it for granted. He says stuff like "Why is this a big deal?" It drove me nuts. Now that I am getting read as male, I'm trying to keep remembering what it's like to be new to this and still look in between.

--Jay

Could this really be the case if the person isn't that much "passing"?

[katiej]

As somebody who had to use this bathroom for 35 years these are my experiences:

- Guys don't normally look at another guys while in the restroom, this is specially true in a locker room, they talk, but they don't look other guy eyes.
- some people like to talk while they are in the urinal, specially if you are in a bar or drinking alcohol, but they don't look.
- 99% of the time stalls are not busy, so people can walk directly to them if needed (as a woman I have learned to love and hate when I have to wait in a really long line for the ladies room in a public event)
- normally when you use the stall in a men restroom people will automatically assume you are doing number 2, nevertheless most of the time the toilet would have urine all over it (most guys have a hard time directing their shot).

So don't worry if you have to wait for a stall, people will not look you on the eyes, they may say something like "big sh**?".

^^This is spot on.  Guys are generally not very observant, but as others have mentioned here, they are even less so in the mens room because of the desire to not see other guys' junk or have other guys looking at theirs.

A big part of the passing privilege that Jay mentioned is that guys walk around acting like they own everything.  I'm MTF, so I'm having to learn how to dial that back.  So if you walk into the mens room confidently and just do your business, no guy is going to think twice about it.  Honestly.

[mac1]

When I find the stalls (1 stall in many cases) filled I wish that I could use the women's restroom or that all public restrooms could be multi-user unisex. I never consider using a urinal.

[Felix]

Passing privilege like a lot of privilege is invisible. I have a friend who has been "passing" for years and years now. He takes it for granted. He says stuff like "Why is this a big deal?" It drove me nuts. Now that I am getting read as male, I'm trying to keep remembering what it's like to be new to this and still look in between.

--Jay

This is important to keep in mind. I felt like my transition was slow, and even before transition I was often not read as the correct gender for the bathroom that I was using, but now I take it for granted that I can just waltz into the men's room and usually don't have to do a lot of thinking about it. I get reminders when I'm in spaces where people know ahead of time that I'm trans, or when I encounter people in the men's room who are themselves not visibly gender typical.

Whatever you look like, it's still probably best to just bluff your way through any difficulties. No matter what anyone's private thoughts are, most people just want to pee or poop and move on. If someone is drunk or crazy they might try to engage more but they tend to bring more attention on themselves than whatever they are questioning or complaining about.