Texting this guy

[Auroramarianna]

 Hi girls

Today I decided to be brave and just started texting this guy over facebook. He's basically an acquaintance from mine with whom I used to have lunch with, sometimes alone, sometimes with this guy I also know (who's probably gay and had a thing for him, lol). Omg, I must say, he's hoooot. Plus he's a genius, and totally interesting. Gets A's all the time and is going to start college really soon. He's also half-chinese. I just started by asking how he was and then continued to ask him about his major, subjects, his vacation to Macao and he was actually asking questions about myself and shared a bit. So um yes. I didn't always reply instantly because I couldn't always get wifi and he didn't either, I don't think he has a smartphone. I guess I kept it casual and mysterious, and I didn't sound desperate. But now  don't know if I should keep texting him tomorrow. I already did today, and it wasn't too much, but um I kinda don't know what to say. I hope he replies to my last message.

I don't know, but I really want to suggest a hang-out someday but maybe I'm being too straightforward and bold, and guys usually like the chase. Lol, I don't actually know if he's attracted to me. I want to be friends with him. We already talked, so it isn't totally awkward. But it doesn't come totally natural to me. I don't know, girls, I am confused. I would appreciate advise. I know I can't text him everyday but how much time should I wait till I can suggest a hang out? Or maybe it's just too creepy. IDK.

Thank you

[Jaz650]

I'm not sure. The chase does work. I think it would be more natural if you talk to him frequently, find a hobby, movie, something in common and then ask him out. Or you can say "Gosh it's been so long, why don't we meet up for coffee to chat." Don't suffocate him either, guys don't like that.

[Jaz650]

Oh if it does work out. Hook me up with a friend.

[DaGirl]

I agree the chase does work. I've met a couple guys over the month. If they are truly interested in you and they text often, they will ask you out on date over time. You should not suggest hanging out or something, make them work for it. It works out better in the end.

I'm not sure. The chase does work. I think it would be more natural if you talk to him frequently, find a hobby, movie, something in common and then ask him out. Or you can say "Gosh it's been so long, why don't we meet up for coffee to chat." Don't suffocate him either, guys don't like that.

[Catherine W.]

You need to make sure that you need to keep up your confidence when talking to him, and some smiles never hurt either.

In the end, try and go with your gut feeling. Good luck!

[Auroramarianna]

Ehehe I'm so excited

I've carefully planned possible questions and topics I am going to develop with him, like a movie I watched, if he's getting his car license and if he has unlimited texts cuz this all has been through messenger and I want him to get my phone number.

Oh!! What?? I swear I only want to be friends...! Wait, what? xD Who am I trying to fool! LOLJK I swear I am just being niiice.

[DaGirl]

Are you lusting or do you really like him? Ever since I started my transition I have been in lust. xD

Ehehe I'm so excited

I've carefully planned possible questions and topics I am going to develop with him, like a movie I watched, if he's getting his car license and if he has unlimited texts cuz this all has been through messenger and I want him to get my phone number.

Oh!! What?? I swear I only want to be friends...! Wait, what? xD Who am I trying to fool! LOLJK I swear I am just being niiice.

[Auroramarianna]

I am definitely lusting as well xD But I sooo want to see where this goes!!!

[Auroramarianna]

So updating

We've been texting each other since Friday, and yesterday I asked him about lots of thinsg like his car license, where he was taking classes. he's actually quite vulnerable and he showed his emotions and insecurity about driving a car, eheh. He shared and asked questions so I guess this is good. We texted about his vacation, college degree he's about to start, etc. I let a puase between some of the texts so it wouldn't seem I was too hung up on him. But finally I told him I was gonna hang out with this guy he also knows (the one I said is probably gay) and I invited him, saying I only didn't know when and what we would do. He said no problem at all and he can in week days. So I guess this is good??

[Abby Claire]

Oh god, the chase.   

Listen, the chase is great and everything, but that's not what drives guys to you. It's confidence that attracts them. I fell in love hard with girls that were aggressive, but confident (guys also like a girl who shows vulnerability at times so they feel like a "hero", but you should avoid that until you actually date the guy). I was usually taken aback by girls who initiated conversations with me and suggested hanging out. Whereas, girls I had to "chase" felt more like a mission where I simply had to get laid. Of course this isn't true for everyone and I'm clearly different from other guys (lol), but don't believe in this chase nonsense. The one thing guys complain about more than anything when dating is the game.

[Auroramarianna]

Oh god, the chase.   

Listen, the chase is great and everything, but that's not what drives guys to you. It's confidence that attracts them. I fell in love hard with girls that were aggressive, but confident (guys also like a girl who shows vulnerability at times so they feel like a "hero", but you should avoid that until you actually date the guy). I was usually taken aback by girls who initiated conversations with me and suggested hanging out. Whereas, girls I had to "chase" felt more like a mission where I simply had to get laid. Of course this isn't true for everyone and I'm clearly different from other guys (lol), but don't believe in this chase nonsense. The one thing guys complain about more than anything when dating is the game.

Yeah, but I am not being manipulative at all. I think I'm being friendly, and I used to have lunch with this guy... sometimes alone ehehe omg. So we knew each other already. And he seems to want to hang out! I am not playing mindgames at all

[WillowRyder]

Oh god, the chase.   

Listen, the chase is great and everything, but that's not what drives guys to you. It's confidence that attracts them. I fell in love hard with girls that were aggressive, but confident (guys also like a girl who shows vulnerability at times so they feel like a "hero", but you should avoid that until you actually date the guy). I was usually taken aback by girls who initiated conversations with me and suggested hanging out. Whereas, girls I had to "chase" felt more like a mission where I simply had to get laid. Of course this isn't true for everyone and I'm clearly different from other guys (lol), but don't believe in this chase nonsense. The one thing guys complain about more than anything when dating is the game.

The chase only works if you already know he's totally into you, or you lead him on so he thinks he has a good chance. Otherwise, it can seem like you're toying with him and he may think there's no real emotional connection. Of course, it's more complicated than that in reality, since it depends on the guy you're into. Personally, I love when a girl is upfront (not crass) and asks to hangout,  or compliments me in person (then again, i'm not much of a guy lol).

Attractiveness is a huge subject more than just physical looks, and I think one of the biggest components is confidence. Unless you're a shy girl, then you gotta play the shy card and hope the guy loves trying to get you to open up.

Anyways, I pretty much agree with Abby, don't rely on the idea of the chase to do everything for you. Dating is a delicate, experience based game with a steep learning curve.

Good luck! =D

[Abby Claire]

Yeah, but I am not being manipulative at all. I think I'm being friendly, and I used to have lunch with this guy... sometimes alone ehehe omg. So we knew each other already. And he seems to want to hang out! I am not playing mindgames at all

Oh, I'm not saying you're playing games, but still be wary. Sometimes the guy might be anxious about pushing it further and if you don't take the initiative then it can lead to the guy losing interest. As willow said though, it's a learning experience, and even when you think you have it all figured out, someone new comes along and changes the experience entirely.

[Auroramarianna]

Oh, I'm not saying you're playing games, but still be wary. Sometimes the guy might be anxious about pushing it further and if you don't take the initiative then it can lead to the guy losing interest. As willow said though, it's a learning experience, and even when you think you have it all figured out, someone new comes along and changes the experience entirely.

Oh! Don't worry, I actually took initiave. I was the one who staryed conversation and now I suggested hanging out and he clearly wants to come. I invited him in a way that doesn't necessarily hint I'm interested because we're going with this other guy too But then we'll see what happens.

[WillowRyder]

Sounds like you got an 'in' by having a mutual friend! Good luck, hope it goes well. =]

[Abby Claire]

Oh! Don't worry, I actually took initiave. I was the one who staryed conversation and now I suggested hanging out and he clearly wants to come. I invited him in a way that doesn't necessarily hint I'm interested because we're going with this other guy too But then we'll see what happens.

Jeez, it sounds like you have it figured out! I hope it works out for you. Good luck!