Talking to parents.

[MajorTom]

I came out to my parents about 5 months ago, and since then have rarely been able to talk about it. After initially coming out, I did have another discussion with my mom a couple of months ago and it didn't go well. Since then, I haven't really said anything. I luckily don't have to be afraid of being kicked out or anything, but her total lack of support has been really bothering me. There have been a lot of times when I've wanted to talk to her, but I don't want to upset her more. Does anyone have any tips from when they talked to their parents and how to make them comfortable with at least some changes?

[Jessica Merriman]

Does anyone have any tips from when they talked to their parents and how to make them comfortable with at least some changes?

The only thing I can tell you is to be patient with them. You have known about yourself and what you really are for a while. This is probably a big shock to them. Just learn all you can and what treatments are available and show them this is not just a "stage" you are going through. I personally think coming out to our closest loved ones is the hardest part of transition. My parents took about 8 months just to get comfortable and now we are redoing our relationship and reacquainting ourselves with each other. Just be respectful and patient and hopefully they will come around in time. They will go through all the classic signs of grief such as anger, disbelief, bargaining, etc. 

[LordKAT]

If you are 25 or more, just live your life and let them accept you or not. If younger or you would feel more comfortable, you can ask them to talk to your gender therapist to help dispel any concerns they have. There are also some good books you could share with them or ask them to read. You could ask that they contact a PFLAG group which deals with parents and families of trans people.


Sometimes you have to simply give them room to accept you and keep living your life for yourself.

[suzifrommd]

Well, this is big, right? So they may be in a "denial" phase where they figure if they pretend it doesn't exist, it'll go away.

It might help to drop comments once a day or so about your dysphoria, plans for transition, progress, clothing, etc., so they know it hasn't gone away.

Good luck Tom. I hope everything goes well.