Hello everyone
first of all, I apologize for any incorrect grammar/writing. English isn't my first language
Second, my 23rd birthday is within days. I decided to give myself a gift, which is knowing who I am.
22 year old girl. But I have never felt like one. Here is my story:
As back as in KG I felt and acted as a boy, I used to run around and kiss girls
I did everything like any boy would do. I dressed like them, played like them and even before puberty I liked girls
and imagined I would find my princess to marry.
I hated it when my mother made me wear dresses. I felt shame and hated myself.
I grew up in a country that they dont agree with gender variation, you either a girl or a boy.
puberty came when I was about 12 years old, I had my first period. My breast grew but not that much
I had a painful period that I would go to the hospital so they would give me shots to calm me down. Sometimes I would faint
In middle school I had a crush on several girls. In high school I dated one.
I felt like a man, hated anyone who would ask me are you a lesbian ? not because of the name,but loving and being attracted to women was natural to me. I would answer them " no, but I'm attracted to women "
I hated myself for not being like any other normal girl. I tried to like a guy but it felt weird and not natural.
I love my family thats why I lie to them about my sexual orientation that I like guys but I really dont, how can I love someone like me ?
So when I turned 17, something changed and this freaked me out. my voice deepened, I became more muscular, had visible facial hair but I wax them. my clit became bigger, and my breast got smaller, even my outer lips down south became bigger and thicker
and the skin was thick and weird. I dreamt about having sex with girls.
When I went to another country I changed how I look, cut my hair dressed like a guy and dated hundreds of women most of them were straight and had boyfriends before they met me. Even married women would be attracted and they would always say that I dont look like a girl.
Now a year ago when O turned 22, I had these changes again, but this time I grew taller and became more and more muscular, my breast wear big because I let myself go with eating but when I returned to be fit again they were gone, my clit now is 5 cm long when erected and I can penetrate
guys I never felt like a girl ever in my whole life, I went to several psychiatrics to "fix" me up but they failed
am i an intersex ?
if I really were an intersex what am I ?
I really dont know where to start testing, my gf says I have to go and test myself
But fear of the unknown paralyzes me.
I need your help guys
thank you
