Flock the cistem

[Dread_Faery]

Consider this a safe space for getting things off your chest, what happens in the thread stays in the thread. As to what, it's the little things that the cistem throws our way to remind us how we're still other in their eyes. Please don't unload about actual forum users, while anger is always valid I don't want this to become a poison chalice, full of the taste of bitterness. If you choose to do that, you will be visited in great vengeance a furious anger by The Fruitcake, who will use its evil fruitcake ways to chastise you.

I'll start, face ache in the uk lets you choose other gender identities, but it doesn't let you define your own, yay for complete f-ing invisibility.




Edited for Language

[suzifrommd]

I am NO ONE's idea of a suitable romantic partner. Straight guys and lesbians are looking for a woman. Gay guys and straight women are looking for a man. Bisexuals or pansexuals, or whatever they call themselves this year, have their pick. No one in the world is looking for me.

I'm sick of hearing that it'll just happen when I don't expect it. (Yeah, right. I'll be walking down the street, minding my own business when someone comes up and says "Wow. A middle aged, plain-looking, non-binary trans woman. Just what I was hoping for.") I'm sick of hearing people listing the things about me that are attractive, as if being trans doesn't cancel out being smart/loving/funny/etc. in basically everyone's eyes. It doesn't help that I'm socially inept in groups and clueless as to how to present myself in a positive light, or at least can't put any of it into practice in social situations.

[Taka]

i'll remember to tell my story if it actually happens to me when i don't expect it.

my biggest problem with the cistem here is that male chauvinism is still way too strong. and it annoys me whenever i'm treated like i'm less not only because i'm from the wrong family, but also because i'm a "woman". it annoys me even more when i realize i'm still not treated with the quasi respect that most women are treated with despite all the sexism, simply because the 6th sense of most guys around my age, tells them i'm not really a woman.

[Shantel]

This is a pretty good analogy taken from an event in my own recent experience which is an apt portrayal of cistem at work and how they internalize gender in a one dimensional flat world view which gives them comfort thinking that they are all there is in the universe.

I went to an eye specialist on my own dime recently who commented that the usual eye scan photos are flat and that she would like to suggest to my healthcare provider that I should have an ocular ultrasound as it would show everything three dimensionally and expose things well into and behind the macula all the more clearly rather than just a flat image and give a much better understanding of what's going on with my vision problems. Of course the healthcare provider rejected the idea as excessive and unnecessary expense for information that is beyond the usual norm.

[Taka]

people really insist on learning as little as at all possible.
where did all the fascination with the mysterious and unknown go?

it's not only about gender or eyes. even from the kids' first day in school, teachers will do their best to quench every child's natural thirst for knowledge. well, most teachers will. i know a few teachers whose most important mission isn't even teaching their subject, but seeing to that their students always learn something new in their classes, no matter what it is.

[Shantel]

people really insist on learning as little as at all possible.
where did all the fascination with the mysterious and unknown go?

it's not only about gender or eyes. even from the kids' first day in school, teachers will do their best to quench every child's natural thirst for knowledge. well, most teachers will. i know a few teachers whose most important mission isn't even teaching their subject, but seeing to that their students always learn something new in their classes, no matter what it is.

Some are called to a vocation and they are gifted, others are merely clock punchers unwilling to chance a look beyond their flat world views. Which brings to mind Franz Kafka's book entitled "The Castle."

[Jessica Merriman]

 
Tread easy everyone. This topic will be watched very close.

The moment anger turns to accusation against an individual or group of individuals it will be locked per TOS.

Thanks everyone! 

[Taka]

okay, i'll be nice. i just have lots of bad experience with teachers. might have been more of a fault in the system though, so maybe i should be a little nicer with them. let go of this little grudge of mine that i've carried since my first days in school. they really denied me any right of actually learning something, kept trying to teach me things i learned long before i started school. but it's the system that is ill adjusted, i should start to realize that.

[Dread_Faery]

Did we really need to be tone policed? I don't feel that anyone had attacked anyone in violation of ToS and I specifically asked that people didn't (The Fruitcake is unforgiving in such matters). Anger is a perfectly valid response to a cistem that treats you as invisible or broken. Locking up anger behind walls of politeness is never healthy - this thread was intended to be a safe space to dump feelings of frustration without being judged.

[Sammy]

I could not resist..

[Cindy]

Just beware. This is a privately owned site and the site owner, Susan, has rules she wants obeyed. If you don't like the rules then leave and start your own site.

It is really very simple. If you post here obey the ToS, if you don't want to do that then leave.

Cindy
Forum Admin

[Kaelin]

Some are unquestionably boneheads, but teachers exist in a system where they are both revered (as a potential cure-all for anything) and hated (by being saddled with unreasonable expectations).  Speaking of the "cistem," you can count on certain parents and "concerned citizens" complaining if certain teachers show they fall outside of the heteronorm.

[androgynouspainter26]

Well.  I'M sick about not having any friends on my entire collage campus despite doing everything in my power to put myself out there.

[Taka]

you're just studying the wrong subjects.
i found my own best friends in swahili and german classes.

the people aren't the wrongest ones, i think the system must take more of the blame.
there was a guy here who got married to another guy. people were wanting to attend the wedding, but weren't sure if they could. rather strict oddly conservative christian community. what it took for people to decide to go, was knowing that someone else was going. "oh, if they go, then i suppose i can too." even the ones who wanted to do the right thing, were too afraid of the system to do it.