Dr. Appointment

[Amy The Bookworm]

So, today I go in to talk to a doctor about starting HRT. I've been waiting for this moment for a very long time, which was put on hold even longer because I lived in an area I didn't feel safe even thinking about transitioning.

So here I am, about 2 hours away from when I'll be sitting in the waiting room ... and I'm extremely nervous.

I'm not worried about having second thoughts. But I am:

Worried about talking to the receptionist. Worried about if I'll wind up with blood clots and have to stop taking HRT, either soon after starting or farther down the road years after going full time. Worried I'm forgetting something and they'll make me wait another month. Worried they won't do enough to help me pass even with an extended time. Worried they'll, strangely, work too fast (...an unrealistic fear at 33...). Worried they won't do anything at all. Worried about blood tests (which I know I'll need, though I'm terrified of shots and anything resembling them even though I know it's unreasonable). Worried about getting the prescription filled at a local pharmacy (...I live in a fairly small town in Kansas...)

Just ... on and on and on. Is this normal?

[Brenda E]

Uh huh.

[Alice Rogers]

Take a deep breath hun, you have taken the hardest step.

As for the fears you have if you dwell on them non stop they will crush you, open yourself to the joy of your transition, it's fine to consider the negatives but don't let them get you down.

[ImagineKate]

Worried they'll, strangely, work too fast (...an unrealistic fear at 33...).

Not an unfounded fear. Trust me on this one.

[Jessica Merriman]

Not an unfounded fear. Trust me on this one.

I second this as I am 48 and exploding! 

Baby, just relax and enjoy this day as the work it took to get here was difficult I know.

Just enjoy this magical day and put the worries off for another one. Just go with things and have fun.

No one should worry about anything the day they are born!!!! 

[Amy The Bookworm]

I'm not able to start yet.

There's apparently a murmur sound in my carotid artery. It could be because of a large scar on my neck just under my jaw from a previous surgery has miss-shaped it and it just makes a sound as blood flows through, or it could be something else that, left untreated could cause issues, and not just issues with HRT. And I had heart surgery when I was very young, but my records were lost and no one in my family is able to tell me exactly what was done. So she wants to take an ultra sound of my neck and heart to be sure there's nothing that could up my chances of blood clots. She didn't seem too concerned, but wanted to sounded like she wanted to be safe, which I understand. So I'll be going back early October to do that.

So, the wait continues ... and hopefully I don't get more unexpected news in the future.

[Brenda E]

Amy, so sorry to hear that you left without a prescription for hormones.  After getting over your pre-HRT worries, it must be very disappointing.

But better safe than sorry.  It's a one month wait - seems huge, but it'll pass.  Try to remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint, and four weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Fingers crossed for October!