Living with another trans person as flat mate?

[Unrepentant]

Gee my first thread. Please be gentle. Does anyone live with a trans person as flat  mate or house mate? What experiences did you have and were they pleasant?

[Elsa Delyth]

I doubt that them being transgender has much to do with whether or not they're pleasant. Just like everyone else, some people are pleasant, and others aren't, and it has little to do with their gender.

Also, people are not pleasant or unpleasant universally to everyone -- this is relational, and depending on whom they're interacting with. The people you think are pleasant means that you get along with them, but surely they don't get along with everyone on the planet, and some people will think them unpleasant. Similarly if you think someone is unpleasant, this doesn't mean that there aren't droves of people that think they're wonderful.

People are not consistently the same to everyone. 

[amber roskamp]

Gee my first thread. Please be gentle. Does anyone live with a trans person as flat  mate or house mate? What experiences did you have and were they pleasant?

I agree with Elsa about being trans having nothing to do with how pleasant someone  is, but I think that there would be many advantages with living with another trans person. especially if you were early in your transition. If you lived with a transitioned trans women or something then she could give you important info on doctors/therapist. And it would give you someone you know wont judge you for your transness.

[big kim]

I did for 11 years we had great fun (and the occasional fight!).

[JoanneB]

It depends.... What sort of person are you? What sort of person is the flat mate?

My long time lover had an apartment in NYC. She is a really big "people person" always wanting to help others and has a great analytical mind. She sub-let rooms to other trans women. Was almost a part-time therapist for them she she had years of experience under her belt. (This was the 1980's, AKA The Dark Ages) And, most times was the only "adult" living there.

There was more than the fair share of typical flat mate crap like late rent, raiding the food stocks, not cleaning etc. with the perfectly "reasonable" excuse of "Well, you know how it is....". In other words playing the T Card.

[BunnyBee]

I haven't, but without doing it I can tell you that I know of some trans people I could live with wonderfully and some whom I just might murder if I lived with them.  I'm sure there are some inherent goods and bads about living with another trans person, but I think it's still going to come down to how personalities mesh, just like it would with anybody else.

[Cute Ida]

Hello,

I am currently living with another trans-woman as a roommate. I've been renting a room from her for almost 2 years. I am a non-op trans-woman while she is a pre-op trans-woman. I'm lesbian but she's pan-sexual. Originally we met and started dating. We only had a couple of dates before she said that she didn't have an emotional connection between us but we still stayed friends.

A few months later I had to move out of my last room because the owner of the house which was a butch lesbian was finally having her feminine partner move in and didn't need a renter. I couldn't find a place after 4 months. My friend I had briefly dated offered to rent me the other room if it came to the move out week and hadn't found a place yet. I moved in with my friend.

A few months later I was fired from my job for the first time. I was unemployed for 2 months. She let me live there without paying rent the time I was unemployed saying that she just wants me to get back on my feet before starting to pay rent again. Then I had a job for 3 months paid rent for 2 months then the store I was working at closed which left me unemployed for 2 more months. Again I didn't have to pay rent when I was unemployed.

I got a job then 2 weeks later my roommate lost her job. So for 4 & 1/2 months I was paying rent to her while she was unemployed. My rent to her paid for the utilities, internet, ect... She got a job 3 months ago. She currently works days and I work nights. It all balances out. We usually take turns doing the chores. We don't really hang out much, we just kinda do our own thing.

[Zoetrope]

I would happily give it a go!

[zog]

I had another trans person living with me for about a month last summer, and it went surprisingly well although this is a very small single-room apartment. I had started hormones about a month earlier, so it was indeed often helpful to have someone around who had been on them for several years and could give me perspective on things as well as explain what was going on when I went into some kind of hyper-hormonal state, which happened every now and then at that time.

But at the end of the day it really didn't have that much to do with that person being trans or not. Most trans folks I couldn't stand to live with, just like the case is with the vast, vast majority of people in general.