I just can't handle trans ignorance

[Mariah]

It is and the sooner your able to the healthier and likely happier you will be.

I know. Please don't take my anger and frustrations personally, I'm just a bit fed up right now.

Thanks. I'm going to have to really work on trying to improve my psychological health. I think it is the most important aspect of transition and something I have to dedicate more focus towards.

[ImagineKate]

TRIGGER WARNING

It's kind of frustrating and I almost outed myself today in front of my wife and her older daughter.

You know how there is a nasty unfounded rumor about the first lady, right? You know the one.

Anyway we met up someone today and in discussion, said that to us laughing and I was like, "are you f-ing serious. You know they have kids, right? If they could pull that off, I'm sure every transsexual would be over the moon because of what's possible."

I then said, "I think that's a really mean thing to say. Childish like the fat jokes about Chris Christie. You know I don't really make jokes like that because that could be me!" I was of course referring to Christie's problem with his weight (and I actually personally congratulated him when he had the surgery on taking charge of his health, he brushed it off.)

Then I kinda just dropped it, I had an "ohh sh**" moment... My wife looked at me kinda weird, then agreed, "yeah, I really don't make jokes like that either."

BTW I was kinda shocked that I was actually defending the first lady, because of my political leanings. Won't go too much into that here though.

[Megumi]

I'm sorry, but if the goal is to help me then I don't perceive that putting all the blame onto me to be a constructive way to be doing it.

This is where the core of the problem is at and you seem unable to get past the fact that sometimes we have to work on ourselves whether we like it or not. There's no easy fix in this case and your anger issue is something you need to work on about yourself. We can't control how people react to us in public and it really sucks that people are jerks for no other reason than to make themselves feel better by putting others down. We can chose to either let them have the power over us or not and no it's not letting them walk all over us it's not giving them the satisfaction of seeing that them being jack wagons has any effect on us.

So right now you have only a few options in front of you.
1: You can continue on the path that you are on right now. Constantly blowing up and getting mad when anyone says something to you or about you. You might blow up one day and assault someone and go to jail or worse.
2: Work on the anger issues, tell your therapist about the situations and how they throw you into that frame of mind. I find it hard believe that the therapist isn't willing to help unless they see you act out before they can help you and if the therapist seems to not be helping then find a support group that caters to this very subject.
3: Get a fresh start and move to a more transgender friendly area of the country and disregard your problems and hope that they don't come back in the new place if you ever have an issue in public again.

I hope you can get your anger issues resolved. I learned early on that people will say what they want and I'm not going to let them hurt my feelings, especially if it's some random person out in public who I have no relation to. If it's a friend or family member then I will calmly talk to them. For the ones who do it out in public then that's their problem, I refuse to give them any satisfaction in me having an outburst of confronting them because that's what they want. People love drama and if you provide them entertainment in the process then that just reinforces their justification in their actions. It can be called allowing yourself to be walked on or you can call it being the better person, that's up to you.